POLICEMAN 
FLTNN 


"  '  Ye  luk  it,"  replied  Mrs.  Flynn." 

[  See  page  62.  ] 


POLICEMAN  FL  YNN 


BY 


ELLIOTT    FLOWER 


WITH  ILLUSTRATIONS  BT 

Frederic  Dorr  Steele 


NEW    YORK 

THE    CENTURY  CO. 

1902 


PS 
3511 


Copyright,  1901,  1902 
by  The  Century  Co. 


Published  February,  igo2 


Arranged    and     Printed    at 
The  Gillin  Prttt,  New  Tork 


Respectfully   Dedicated  to 

"  The   Good  and  Faithful  Servant" 

of  whom   Little  is  Heard 

to  whom   Much  is  Due 


CONTENTS 

PAGE 

i  He  Objects  to  Promotion      ...        i 

ii  He  Is  Worried  by  Politicians     .     .     13 

in  He  Violates  an  Ordinance      ...     23 

iv  He  Suppresses  Anarchy    ....     33 

v  He  Loses  a  Prisoner 45 

vi   He  Raids  a  "  Fence  " 55 

vii  He  Advises  His  Daughter     ...     65 

vin  He  Secures  a  Conviction  ....     75 

ix  He  Stops  an  Automobile  ....     87 

x  He  Helps  a  Prisoner 99 

xi  He  Effects  a  Compromise      .     .     .109 

xii  He  Chastises  His  Son       .     .     .     .121 

xni  He  Arrests  a  Defaulter     .     .     .     .135 

xiv  He  Discusses  Marriage     .     .     .     .147 

xv  He  Stops  a  Runaway 157 

xvi  He  Attends  a  Ball 169 


CONTENTS 


xvn   He  Resists  Temptation     .     .      .     .179 

xvin   He  Quells  a  Riot 191 

xix   He  Punishes  the  Dudes    ....   201 

xx   Preaching  and  Practice      ....  209 

xxi   He  Guards  a  Crossing       .     .     .      .221 

xxn   He  Tries  a  Bit  of  Strategy     .     .     .   233 

xxni   Terry  Tries  Diplomacy     ....   245 

xxiv  He  Talks  of  Police  Methods      .     .   257 

xxv   He  Acts  as  Peacemaker     .     .     .      .269 

xxvi  He  Celebrates  Christmas  ....  279 


LIST  OF  ILLUSTRATIONS 

PAGE 

"  c  Ye  luk  it,'  replied  Mrs.  Flynn  "  Frontispiece 
"  c  D'  ye  think  I  'm  lookin'  f 'r  a  chanst  to 

make  throuble  f 'r  mesilf  ? '       ...       7 
"  '  I  wa-ant  to  see  his  nibs  ' !        ....19 
"  *  What  are  ye  doin'  out  there,  Barney  ?  '         27 
"  Two  more  dejected  specimens  of  human 
ity  never  appeared  there"    .      .     .     .      81 

Flynn  and  the  automobile 93 

Policeman  Flynn  in  a  reasoning  attitude  .  115 
" '  Come  down  out  iv  that'  :  .  .  .  .129 
"  *  To  th'  felly  that  put  me  out  iv  th' 

windy?' 151 

"  As  he  finally  got  settled  on  the  horse's 

head" 163 

" (  Five  years  ago  I  was  doin'  odd  jobs  for 

a  livin',  and  look  at  me  now  '        .     .183 


LIST     OF     ILLUSTRATIONS 


"  Policeman    Flynn    was    found    standing 

like  a  conquering  hero  "       ....  197 
"'They    's   tin   dollars   missin','    she   an 
nounced"    .      .     c 215 

"  He  was  the  supreme  ruler  of  that  cross 
ing  "  .     .     .     „ 225 

"' Where 's  the  cakes  ?'         253 

Flynn  counsels  the  amateur  detective  .     .261 

Flynn's  Christmas 283 


HE  OBJECTS  ro 

PROMOTION 


CHAPTER  I 


HE   OBJECTS   TO   PROMOTION 

THAT  Policeman  Barney  Flynn  is  still 
Patrolman  Flynn  is  due  entirely  to 
himself.  Others  are  patrolmen  be 
cause  they  cannot  be  sergeants  or  lieutenants  or 
captains ;  Flynn  is  one  from  choice.  He  is 
probably  the  only  man  on  "  th'  foorce  "  who, 
having  been  promoted,  has  made  a  special  and 
earnest  plea  to  be  "  ray-dooced  to  th'  r-ranks," 
as  he  himself  put  it.  In  this  he  is  unique,  but 
in  many  other  respects  he  is  typical  of  a  cer 
tain  class  of  policemen  of  whom  the  inhabi 
tants  of  a  city  hear  little.  He  is  resourceful 
and  honest ;  if  he  were  not  it  is  probable  more 
would  be  heard  of  him  in  the  newspapers 
and  the  police  reports.  A  few  rascally  men  on 
a  police  force  can  do  a  world  of  harm  to  the 
reputation  of  the  whole  body,  and  if  they  attain 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 

high  rank  they  can  demoralize  a  good  part  of 
it.  Integrity  is  so  important  in  those  to  whom 
is  intrusted  the  enforcement  of  the  law  that 
there  is  a  natural  tendency  to  magnify  the 
evils  that  are  seen  to  exist,  and  the  depart 
ment  is  gauged  by  the  worst  rather  than  the 
best  that  is  to  be  found  in  it.  The  men  of  the 
rank  and  file,  as  a  rule,  are  faithful,  earnest  and 
reasonably  clever.  So,  if  Policeman  Barney 
Flynn  does  not  seem  to  you  typical,  you  may 
rest  assured  it  is  because  you  know  little  of  the 
police  departments  of  the  great  cities.  It  is  the 
spectacular  that  gets  in  the  lime-light  of  pub 
licity,  and  faithfulness,  perseverance  and  hon 
esty  are  not  often  spectacular,  so  we  hear  more 
of  things  we  admire  less ;  and,  hearing  more 
of  them,  we  gain  the  idea  that  they  are  the  pre 
dominating  features  of  modern  life. 

True,  Policeman  Flynn  may  be  more  re 
sourceful  than  some  of  his  brother  officers,  and 
he  may  have  more  of  hard-headed  common 
sense,  but  he  is  no  more  conscientious  than  the 
great  majority  of  them.  Like  them  he  has 
many  faults,  not  the  least  of  which  is  a  desire  to 
have  as  easy  and  comfortable  a  life  as  possible, 
but  he  acts  always  according  to  his  best  judg- 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


ment,  and  he  defends  his  acts  with  rare  philos 
ophy  when  they  are  assailed.  For  instance,  it 
might  be  charged  against  him  that  he  has  made 
fewer  arrests  than  any  other  man  of  his  length 
of  service,  and  this  would  carry  weight  in  quar 
ters  where  a  policeman's  usefulness  is  judged 
solely  by  the  number  of  prisoners  he  brings  in. 
But  there  are  men  of  experience  who  will  insist 
that  this  is  not  a  true  gauge  of  merit,  and  Po 
liceman  Flynn  is  one  of  them.  He  does  not 
like  to  make  arrests ;  he  does  not  deem  it  nec 
essary  in  instances  where  others  do. 

"  'T  is  a  nuisance,"  he  says,  "to  be  dhraggin' 
ye-er  man  to  th'  station  an'  thin  be  afther  get- 
tin'  into  coort  th'  nex'  day  to  prosy-cute  him. 
Sind  him  home  whin  ye  can  ;  that  's  me  wa-ay 
iv  doin'  it.  'T  is  easy  done  if  he  have  money 
in  his  pocket  to  pay  f 'r  th'  cab."  And  as  Po 
liceman  Flynn  for  many  years  had  a  night  beat 
in  a  district  frequented  by  the  gilded  youth  and 
others  who  celebrate  "  not  wisely  but  too  well," 
his  opinion  has  weight. 

"  I  '11  not  go  home,"  once  retorted  a  young 
man  who  had  received  good  advice  from  him. 

"  Ye  '11  not  ?"  returned  Policeman  Flynn,  in 
a  tone  of  mild  astonishment. 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


"  No,  I  won't ;  and  I  'd  like  to  know  what 
you  're  going  to  do  about  it.  You  can  run  me 
in  if  you  want  to." 

"  R-run  ye  in  !"  repeated  Flynn.  "  Oho  ! 
D'  ye  think  I  'm  lookin'  f 'r  a  chanst  to  make 
throuble  f 'r  mesilf?  I  '11  do  nawthin'  iv  th' 
kind." 

"  Then  what  will  you  do  ? "  demanded  the 
obstreperous  youth,  defiantly. 

"  I  '11  jump  on  ye,"  responded  Policeman 
Flynn.  "  'T  is  easier  done,  an'  it  '11  give  wor-rk 
for  the  ambylance  instid  iv  th'  hurry-up  wagon." 

As  the  policeman  is  an  exceedingly  active 
man,  who  could  jump  high  and  come  down 
hard,  the  argument  ended  there,  and  the  young 
man  moved  on. 

It  will  be  seen  from  this  that  Policeman 
Flynn's  methods  are  peculiarly  his  own — ex 
cept  when  they  are  his  wife's.  She  has  prompted 
him  in  many  ways,  has  given  him  various  val 
uable  suggestions  when  he  stood  in  need  of 
them,  and  he  is  always  quite  ready  to  let  her 
have  all  the  credit  due  her.  "  F'r  a  woman," 
he  is  accustomed  to  say  when  speaking  of  her, 
"  she  do  be  th'  gr-reatest  ma-an  I  iver  see. 
'T  is  her  that 's  more  injane-yus  than  th'  whole 

6 


"  «  D"  ye  think  I  "m  lookln  fr  a  cbanst  to  make  throuble 
f  r  mesilf? '  ' 


POLICEMAN      PLTNN 

po-lis  boord,  and  many  's  th'  fine  tip  she  's  give 
to  me,  though  't  is  a  mighty  onpleasant  way 
she  have  iv  doin'  it  sometimes."  At  any  rate, 
Policeman  Flynn  and  his  wife,  between  them, 
made  an  excellent  record  on  his  beat.  It  is  not 
the  policeman  who  makes  the  most  arrests  who 
is  necessarily  of  the  greatest  value,  and  in  this 
instance  order  was  maintained  with  less  friction 
and  fewer  cases  on  the  docket  than  ever  be 
fore. 

That  was  why  Policeman  Flynn  was  finally 
made  a  sergeant.  He  had  faithfully  performed 
his  duty  for  many  years  in  many  parts  of  the 
city,  and  the  marks  against  him  were  few  and 
far  between.  He  had  been  a  crossing  police 
man,  he  had  "  traveled  beat "  in  a  residence 
section  of  the  city,  he  had  had  his  nerve  tested 
in  a  really  tough  district,  and  wherever  tried 
he  had  been  found  equal  to  all  emergencies. 
But  it  was  on  a  "  Tenderloin  beat "  that  he  had 
been  most  successful.  Every  large  city  has  its 
"  Tenderloin  beats,"  and  they  are  the  ones  that 
call  for  the  exercise  of  the  most  tact  and  judg 
ment  on  the  part  of  the  night  patrolman.  To 
this  he  returned  after  a  brief  experience  as  a  ser 
geant  and  a  few  encounters  with  politicians. 

9 


POLICEMAN      F  L  T  N  N 


His  promotion  was  held  to  be  deserved,  and 
there  was  not  a  man  who  knew  him  who  was 
not  pleased  when  the  announcement  was  made. 
But  Sergeant  Flynn  shook  his  head  doubtfully. 
"  Sergeant  Flynn  !  "  he  repeated  to  himself. 
"  Listen  to  that,  now  !  'T  is  not  th'  same  ol' 
Barney  at  all  ;  but  th'  good  woman  says  't  is 
rightj  an'  I  '11  make  a  pla-ay  at  it."  He  did, 
for  one  whole  week.  Then  he  asked  to  be  re 
duced  to  the  ranks  again.  "  'T  is  not  to  me 
likin',"  he  explained.  "  I  'm  not  ma-ade  to  be 
betther  thin  annywan  else.  I  can't  sthand  f 'r 
th'  say-lutin'  an'  th'  flimflammin'  an'  all  that. 
I  have  no  fri'nds  anny  more.  Ivery  man  I  like 
has  to  treat  me  with  ray-spict,  an'  't  is  no  spoort 
f  r  me.  Whin  I  says,  '  Hullo,  Patsy,  ol'  bye  !'  to 
wan  iv  the  men,  an'  am  lookin'  f 'r  an  answer  in 
kind,  he  up  an'  say-lutes  me  an'  says,  f  Good 
avenin',  sergeant ;  I  beg  lave  to  ray-poort  that 
I  jist  chased  two  gazabos  down  th'  alley.'  Oh, 
't  is  no  job  f 'r  me.  I  niver  was  made  f'r  a  soo- 
peer-yer  man,  niver  at  all.  Put  me  back  on  me 
ol'  job  where  I  can  have  me  fri'nds  again." 

"Is  that  your  only  complaint,  sergeant  ?" 
asked  the  chief. 

"  Listen  to  that,  now  !      Dhrop  it,  will   ye  ? 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 

Dhrop  it  an'  call  me  (  Barney '  or  jist  plain 
'  Flynn.'  " 

"  Well,  is  that  your  only  complaint,  Flynn?" 

"  M-m-m,  well,"  replied  Sergeant  Flynn, 
drawing  his  hand  thoughtfully  across  his  mouth 
and  chin,  "  I  don't  mind  tellin'  ye,  private  an' 
confidential,  that  I'm  missin'  thim  little  pa-aper 
see-gar  judes  that 's  been  makin'  so  much  throu- 
ble  f 'r  me,  an'  th'  fellies  that  don't  want  to  go 
home,  an'  all  th'  rist  iv  th'  Tenderline  gazabos. 
I  don't  seem  to  get  used  to  bein'  without 
throubles  iv  some  kind.  'T  is  too  easy  bein'  a 
sergeant,  an'  I  don't  shleep  nights  f 'r  thinkin' 
iv  dhrawing  me  pa-ay  without  wor-rkin'  f'r  it. 
An'  thin,  bechune  oursilves,  't  is  not  me  nature 
to  be  watchin'  the  b'ys  an'  sindin'  thim  to  th' 
thrial  boord  f'r  derry-lickshun  iv  juty.  Whin  I 
see  wan  iv  thim  takin'  a  little  nip  on  th'  shly, 
it  ma-akes  me  wish  I  was  bor-rn  blind — it  does 
so." 

"  How  would  you  like  to  be  the  mayor's 
private  policeman  ?  "  asked  the  chief. 

"  Oho  !  Privit  po-lisman  to  his  nibs  !  "  ex 
claimed  Sergeant  Flynn.  "  'T  w'u'd  be  a  fine 
job.  What  's  th'  char-acter  iv  th'  wor-rk  ?  " 

"  Oh,  you  'd  be  a  sort  of  doorkeeper,  and 


POLICEMAN      F  L  T  N  N 


have  the  task  of  keeping  the  applicants  for 
office  and  for  political  and  other  favors  of  all 
sorts  in  order  while  they  're  waiting  to  see  him. 
If  you  're  looking  for  something  to  do,  there  's 
a  job  that  will  keep  you  busy." 

"  M-m-m,  well,"  returned  Sergeant  Flynn, 
slowly,  "  't  is  a  shtep  in  th'  right  direction." 
But  he  left  the  chief's  office  solemnly  shaking 
his  head. 

"  'T  is  all  right  f'r  thim  that  likes  it,"  he  ex 
plained  afterward,  "  but  th'  chop-houses  is  all 
on  me  ol'  Tinderline  beat." 


HE   IS    WORRIED   BT 
POLITICIANS 


CHAPTER  II 

HE     IS    WORRIED     BY    POLITICIANS 

"  f  |  "\HERE  do  be  three  gr-rades  iv  liars," 
said  Policeman  Flynn,  in  a  burst  of 
-™"  confidence,  to  his  wife. 

"  To  which  iv  thim  do  ye  belong,  Barney  ? " 
she  inquired  solicitously. 

"  G'wan,  now  !  "  retorted  Policeman  Flynn. 
"  Ye  '11  be  provokin'  me  to  thry  to  sell  ye  to  a 
comic  pa-aper,  ye  will  that.  'T  is  no  joke  I'm 
tellin'  ye.  There  do  be  three  gr-rades  iv  liars 
in  this  wor-rld.  First  ye  have  th'  common  liar, 
an'  't  is  easy  carin'  f'r  him.  Nixt  ye  have  th' 
artistic  liar,  who  can  dhress  a  lie  up  to  ray-simble 
th'  truth,  so  's  ye  have  to  look  f'r  th'  shtraw- 
berry  ma-ark  on  th'  lift  ar-rm  to  tell  which  is 
th'  other.  An'  thin  ye  have  th'  politician,  th' 
gr-reatest  liar  iv  thim  all." 

Policeman  Flynn  shook  his  head  solemnly 

15 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


as  he  gave  expression  to  this  great  truth.  He 
had  had  experience,  and  he  knew  whereof  he 
spoke.  He  had  been  the  mayor's  special  po 
liceman  for  two  weeks. 

"  Th'  common  liar,"  he  went  on,  "  lies  Pr 
th'  fun  iv  it,  th'  artistic  liar  lies  Pr  a  pur-rpose, 
an'  th'  politician  lies  because  't  is  his  nature  to. 
Poor  felly  !  he  do  be  built  that  wa-ay. 

"  *  I  wa-ant  to  see  his  nibs,'  says  th'  politi 
cian  to  me,  doin*  th'  rush  act  an'  thryin'  to  go 
by  me. 

"  f  Ye  cannot,'  says  I. 

"  '  I  '11  have  ye-er  ba-adge,'  says  he.  '  Me 
cousin  was  a  shchoolmate  iv  his  nibs,  an'  I  do 
be  bringin'  him  news  he  '11  be  gla-ad  to  ha-ave. 
Ye  '11  see  him  fa-all  on  me  neck  th'  minute  he 
sees  me.' 

"  So  I  lets  the  gazabo  in,  but  does  his  nibs 
fa-all  on  his  neck  ?  Oho  !  well,  if  he  does,  it 
do  be  with  an  ax,  an'  me  own  neck  feels  th' 
whir  iv  th'  wind." 

"  Ser-rves  ye  right,"  commented  Mrs.  Flynn. 
"Ye  have  no  sinse  at  all,  Barney.  'T  is  ye-er 
juty  to  do  what  ye  're  told  an'  1'ave  others  to 
do  th'  thinkin'." 

"  Listen  to  that,  now  !  "  exclaimed  Policeman 

16 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


Flynn.  "  Oho  !  but  ye  're  a  sma-art  woman. 
That 's  what  his  nibs  says  to  me.  *  Do  as  ye  're 
told,  Barney,'  he  says,  *  an'  1'ave  me  to  do  th' 
thinkin'  f'r  th'  office.  That  ma-an  c'u'd  n't  get 
ye-er  ba-adge  in  a  million  years,  but  I  can 
ha-ave  it  anny  day  I  r-reach  f'r  it.'  An'  't  w'u'd 
be  all  r-right,  only  his  nibs  do  be  a  politician, 
too." 

"  Take  him  at  his  wor-rd,  anyhow,"  advised 
Mrs.  Flynn. 

"  I  did  so,"  returned  Policeman  Flynn,  "  an' 
f'r  two  da-ays  me  ba-adge  was  like  to  dhrop  off 
me  coat,  it  hung  so  loose.  'T  was  all  along  iv 
another  politician. 

"  '  I  '11  be  afther  seein'  th'  may'r,'  he  says, 
important-like. 

"'Ye  '11  not,'  says  I. 

"  '  Ye  don't  re-cognize  me,'  says  he. 

"  '  I  do  not,'  says  I. 

"  f  Me  fa-ace  sh'u'd  be  familiar  to  ye,'  says 
he. 

"  <  Mebbe  't  w'u'd  be,'  says  I,  <  if  I  'd  lukked 
in  th'  r-rogues'  gal'ry  iv  late.' 

"  With  that  his  nibs,  hearin'  voices,  comes  out 
an'  gra-abs  th'  felly  be  th'  hand  an'  takes  him 
in  an'  threats  him  like  he  was  th'  only  fri'nd 

17 


POLICEMAN      F  L  T  N  N 

he  had  in  th'  wor-rld.  An'  when  th'  felPys 
gone,  his  nibs  comes  to  me,  an'  says,  *  Don't 
ye  know  him  ?  ' 

"  *  I  do  not,'  says  I. 

" '  He  carries  two  wa-ards  in  his  inside 
pocket,'  says  his  nibs. 

"  '  Mebbe,'  says  I,  *  that 's  what  spoils  th'  fit 
iv  his  coat.' 

"  '  Niver  tur-rn  down  a  ma-an  like  that,'  says 
his  nibs,  payin'  no  attintion  to  me  little  joke. 

"  '  How  '11  I  tell  thim  apa-art  ? '  says  I. 

"  '  Use  ye-er  head,'  says  his  nibs. 

"  c  I  thought,'  says  I,  c  ye  tol'  me  ye  'd  do 
th'  thinkin'  f 'r  this  office  ye-ersilf;  an'  besides,' 
I  says,  '  I  niver  took  a  coorse  in  mind-r-readin'; 
't  was  overlooked.' 

"  An'  there  ye  are,"  continued  Policeman 
Flynn.  "  On  me  ol'  beat  I  had  to  deal  with 
th'  common  liars  an'  th'  artistic  liars,  but  th' 
politicians  was  out  iv  it.  Now  't  is  only  th' 
politicians,  an'  I  w'ud  n't  thrust  wan  iv  thim  to 
tell  his  own  na-ame.  D'  ye  know,  if  wan  iv 
thim  iver  came  to  me  an*  said,  '  I  'm  afther  a 
job  from  his  nibs,'  I  'd  faint  away,  I  w'u'd  so. 
Th'  shock  iv  findin'  so  much  honesty  in  wan 
lump  among  th'  gazabos  that  come  to  th'  City 

18 


"  '  I  nva-ant  to  see  his  nibs. '  ' ' 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 

Hall  w'u'd  near  kill  me.  But  't  is  not  their 
wa-ay. 

" '  I  must  see  him,'  says  wan.  '  I  'm  his 
family  docther.' 

"  '  Where  's  ye-er  tool-chist? '  says  I,  knowin' 
a  docther  always  carries  wan. 

"  <  He  told  me  to  call,'  says  another. 

"  <  An'  he  toP  me  to  lay  f 'r  ye  whin  ye 
come,'  says  I. 

"  Oho  !  I  'm  good  at  re-partee,  but  't  is  like 
to  get  me  into  throuble,  f 'r  th'  wan  I  turn 
down  th'  ha-ardest  is  always  th'  only  wan  I 
ought  to  have  passed  in.  Some  iv  thim  come 
ivery  da-ay  an*  wait  an'  wait  an'  wait,  an'  they 
gra-ab  fellies  goin'  in  an'  comin'  out,  an'  thry 
to  get  their  infloo'nce.  I  'd  be  sorry  f 'r  thim 
if  it  was  n't  f'r  wan  thing." 

"  What 's  that  ?  "  asked  Mrs.  Flynn. 

"  Why  don't  they  wor-rk  f'r  a  livin'  instead  iv 
wor-rkin'  f'r  a  job?  'T  is  less  disappointin', 
an'  no  ha-arder  whin  ye  get  used  to  it.  But 
th'  job  's  too  much  f'r  me.  I  'm  goin'  back  on 
th'  beat  again." 

"  F'r  why  ?  "  asked  Mrs.  Flynn. 

"  Well,  't  was  this  wa-ay,"  explained  Police 
man  Flynn,  "  I  'd  been  scr-rappin'  with  tin  or 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 

ilivin  fellies  that  wa-anted  to  see  his  nibs  whin 
his  nibs  did  n't  wa-ant  to  see  thim,  an'  alone 

}  o 

comes  a  little  gazabo  that  's  so  thin  an'  pale 
ye  'd  think  he  'd  blow  away.  But,  f 'r  all  that, 
he  carries  himself  in  a  soopeer-yer  wa-ay,  an' 
me  feelin'  wr-rong  annyhow. 

"  f  I  ray-ceived  wor-rd,'  says  he,  '  that  some 
body  wants  to  see  me  here.' 

"c  'T  is  likely  so,'  says  I,  with  sa-arcasm,  f 'r 
that 's  th'  ol'  gag. 

"  l  I  think  't  is  th'  may'r,'  says  he,  c  although 
th'  wor-rd  brought  me  was  not  plain  on  that.' 

"  *  I  think  't  is  not,'  says  I.  '  I  think,  from 
th'  looks  iv  ye,  that  th'  ma-an  who  wants  ye  is 
in  th'  corner  office  on  th'  floor  below.' 

"  With  that  he  goes  away,  and  whin  he 
comes  back  he  tur-rns  out  to  be  wan  iv  the 
biggest  taxpayers  in  th'  city,  an'  a  ma-an  that 
ivery  wan  jumps  r-round  f 'r ;  an'  back  I  go  on 
th'  beat  again.  But  't  is  me  ol'  chop-house 
beat,  thank  Hiven  !  Oho !  but  mebbe  he 
was  n't  mad  !  " 

"  Where  was  it  ye  'd  sint  him,  Barney  ?  " 

"  Why,"  replied  Policeman  Flynn,  nonchal 
antly,  "  I  sint  th'  little  bloodless  divil  to  th' 
coroner's  office,  to  be  sure." 


HE    VIOLATES   AN 
ORDINANCE 


CHAPTER  III 

HE    VIOLATES    AN    ORDINANCE 

THERE  was  a  persistent  pop,  pop,  pop 
in    the    alley    back    of    Policeman 
Barney    Flynn's     house,    and    Mrs. 
Flynn  put  her  head  out  of  the  kitchen  door  to 
see  what  was  the  matter. 

"  What  are  ye  doin'  out  there,  Barney  ? " 
she  asked. 

"  A  bit  iv  ta-arget-practisin',"  answered 
Policeman  Flynn  carelessly.  This  was  shortly 
after  he  first  donned  the  police  uniform,  and, 
while  he  was  an  enthusiast,  he  did  not  deem  it 
wise  to  appear  in  that  light  before  his  wife. 

"  Ta-arget-practisin',"  repeated  Mrs.  Flynn. 
"  D'  ye  know  what  ye  're  doin'  ? " 

"  Iv  coorse  I  do,"  replied  Policeman  Flynn, 
sharply.  "  I  tol'  ye  wanst." 

"  Ye  're  a  new  ma-an  on  th'  foorce,"  com- 
25 


POLICEMAN      F  L  T  N  N 


merited  Mrs.  Flynn,  "  an'  ye  think  ye  Ve  got 
to  be  blazin'  away  at  ivery  door  in  th'  wa-ard. 
Tell  me,  now,  is  n't  there  an  orjinance  ferninst 
shootin'  in  th'  city  limits  ?  " 

At  this  Policeman  Flynn  thoughtfully 
scratched  his  head. 

"  R-right  ye  are,"  he  said  at  last,  "  but  't  is 
f'r  th'  gazabo  without  th'  shtar  that  th'  orjin 
ance  was  ma-ade." 

"  Does  ye-er  book  tell  ye  that  ?  "  demanded 
Mrs.  Flynn. 

Policeman  Flynn  pulled  a  summary  of  the 
principal  ordinances  and  the  rules  and  regula 
tions  of  the  department  from  his  pocket,  and 
looked  it  through  slowly  and  carefully. 

"  Does  it  tell  ye,"  demanded  Mrs.  Flynn 
again,  "  that  an  officer  iv  th'  la-aw  can  ma-ake 
a  shootin'-gal'ry  iv  th'  alley  bechune  his  house 
an'  th'  wan  nixt  behind  it  ?  " 

"  It  does  not,"  admitted  Policeman  Flynn, 
regretfully. 

"  Does  n't  it  tell  ye  to  arrist  th'  ma-an  that 
shoots  in  th'  city  ?  " 

"  Mary,  I  '11  not  lie  to  ye,"  answered  Police 
man  Flynn,  after  a  moment  of  reflection  ;  "  it 
says  that  sa-ame." 

26 


<  What  are  ye  doin    out  there ,  Barney  ? ' ' 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


"  Thin  't  is  f'r  you,  Barney  Flynn,"  asserted 
Mrs.  Flynn  decisively,  "to  ta-ake  ye-ersilfto 
th'  station  an'  cha-arge  ye-ersilf  with  disord'rly 
conduct." 

Policeman  Flynn  winced.  The  reasoning 
was  clear,  but  he  objected  to  the  conclusion. 

"  I  ray-fuse,"  he  said  at  length,  "  to  go  with 
mesilf." 

"  Ray-fuse  to  go,  is  it  ? "  cried  Mrs.  Flynn. 
"  Here  ye  are  caught  be  ye-ersilf  vi'latin'  an  or- 
jinance,  an'  ye  ray-fuse  f'r  to  be  arristed. 
Barney,  ye  '11  be  afther  havin'  th'  cha-arge  iv 
raysistin'  an  officer  put  ferninst  ye-er  na-ame, 
too.  'T  is  f'r  you  to  bat  ye-ersilf  on  th'  head 
with  ye-er  club  an'  jerk  ye-ersilf  off  to  th' 
station  whether  ye  will  or  no." 

"  'T  w'u'd  be  a  sha-ame,  Mary,"  protested 
Policeman  Flynn,  "  f'r  me,  bein'  th'  fri'nd  to 
mesilf  that  I  am,  to  be  that  r-rough  with  me 
silf.  Ye  'd  not  have  me  too  ha-ard  on  a  fri'nd, 

»  >  j       i » 
w  u  d  ye  r 

"  Derry-lickshun  iv  juty  it  is ! "  ejaculated 
Mrs.  Flynn.  "  I  can  see  ye,  Barney,  walkin' 
th'  ca-arpet  in  th'  Capt'in's  office,  an'  he  tellin' 
ye  something  iv  juty  an'  fri'ndship,  an'  that 
ye  're  laid  off  foor  da-ays  without  pay." 

29 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


"  Annyhow,"  persisted  the  policeman,  "  I  'm 
not  shtrong  enough  f'r  to  arrist  mesilf.  'T  is 
too  tough  a  job.  I  'm  a  desp'rit  ma-an  whin 
I  'm  r-roused,  Mary,  an'  't  is  not  th'  likes 
iv  me  nor  annywan  ilse  that  can  lay  th'  ha-and 
iv  th'  law  on  mesilf  without  havin'  f'r  to  go  f'r 
a  docther." 

"  I  see  ye  now.  Oh,  I  see  ye  now,  Barney," 
went  on  Mrs.  Flynn.  "  I  see  ye  r-readin'  a 
notice  on  th'  boord  at  th'  station,  an'  it  says 
that  Barney  Flynn  is  discha-arged  from  th' 
foorce  f'r  cow'rdice.  That  's  what  it  says,  Bar 
ney,  an'  it  says  more.  It  says  that  Barney 
Flynn  is  cha-arged  with  disord'ly  conduct,  an' 
shootin'  in  th'  city  limits,  an'  raysistin'  an  offi 
cer,  an'  corruptin'  th'  foorce  be  wor-rkin'  th' 
fri'ndship  r-racket,  an'  that  anny  officer  meetin' 
him  will  call  th'  wagon  an'  r-run  him  in." 

Policeman  Flynn  gave  every  evidence  of 
being  worried,  as  he  hastily  put  his  revolver 
back  in  his  pocket. 

"  Mary,"  he  said,  "  no  wan  saw  me  doin'  iv 
it." 

"  I  saw  ye,  Barney,"  returned  his  relentless 
wife. 

"  But  ye  w'u'd  n't  be  afther  gettin'  th'  only 
3o 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


husband  ye  ha-ave  in  throuble,"  argued  the 
policeman.  "  Ye  w'u'd  n't  do  that,  now  w'u'd 
ye,  Mary  ?  " 

"  As  a  husband,  Barney,  I  like  ye,"  said  the 
diplomatic  Mrs.  Flynn,  "  but  as  a  po-lis  officer 
ye  ha-ave  no  r-right  f'r  to  be  askin'  favors  iv 
me.  'T  is  me  juty  to  ray-poort  anny  officer 
that  does  wr-rong." 

"  Ye  sh'u'd  lukon  me  as  a  husband,  Mary," 
urged  the  policeman. 

"  Not  whin  ye  're  ta-arget-practisin',"  an 
swered  Mrs.  Flynn  with  decision.  "  Whin 
ye  're  doin'  what  I  wa-ant  ye  f'r  to  do  ye  're  a 
husband,  an'  wan  iv  th'  bist  I  iver  see  ;  but 
whin  ye  're  foolin'  with  a  gun  ye  're  a  po-lis 
officer." 

Policeman  Flynn  heaved  a  deep  sigh. 

"  Mary,"  he  said,  "  ye  wa-anted  me  f'r  to  do 
a  little  job  ivwor-rk  in  th'  house  while  I  'm  off 
juty." 

"  I  did,"  she  answered,  "  an'  ye  said  ye 
had  n't  th'  time." 

"  I  've  cha-anged  me  mind,"  asserted  Police 
man  Flynn  with  another  sigh.  "  'T  is  a  tight 
hole  I  got  mesilf  in,  Mary,  an'  me  head  is 
shwimmin'  with  all  th'  throubles  an'  th'  r-rules. 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


'T  is  likely   a  little  wor-rk  '11  ma-ake  things 
easier  Pr  me." 

"  'T  is  likely  it  will,"  retorted  Mrs.  Flynn 
grimly  ;  and  Policeman  Flynn  put  aside  his 
official  dignity  and  tackled  the  plebeian  task 
of  mending  a  wash-tub,  meanwhile  muttering 
to  himself  something  about  a  woman  who  had 
"  a  reg'lar  la-awyer's  head  on  her." 


IV 

HE    SUPPRESSES 
ANARCHY 


CHAPTER  IV 


HE    SUPPRESSES    ANARCHY 

ON  a  beat  to  which  Policeman  Barney 
Flynn  was  once  assigned  there  was  a 
most  troublesome  character.  He  was 
dangerous  or  harmless,  according  to  the  point 
of  view.  If  he  had  been  deprived  of  his  tongue 
he  certainly  would  have  been  harmless,  for  in 
the  matter  of  physical  prowess  he  was  about  as 
meek  and  unassuming  a  man  as  one  could  well 
find.  If  he  had  had  a  brain  at  all  commensu 
rate  with  his  linguistic  powers  he  also  would 
have  been  harmless,  or  perhaps  even  a  power 
for  good.  The  trouble  apparently  lay  in  the 
fact  that,  when  he  was  made,  his  brain  was  con 
structed  on  a  wrong  plan,  and  even  then  was 
not  entirely  completed.  So  he  had  a  grudge 
against  the  world  and  was  able  to  convince 
himself  that  he  was  justified  in  airing  it. 

35 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


Policeman  Flynn  saw  a  crowd  gathered  about 
him  one  day,  and  listened  to  the  harangue  for 
a  few  minutes.  Then  he  gently  elbowed  his 
way  to  the  man's  side  and  suggested,  "  Ye 
betther  be  movin'  along." 

"  This  is  a  free  country,"  retorted  the  man. 

"  R-rightye  are,"  answered  Policeman  Flynn. 
"  'T  is  as  free  f'r  ye  to  1'ave  as  it  is  f'r  ye  to 
come  to.  Niver  a  ma-an  is  holdin'  ye." 

The  man  moved  on.  He  said  something 
about  "  the  minions  of  the  law "  and  the 
"  bloodhounds  of  monopoly,"  but  something 
in  the  expression  of  Policeman  Flynn's  face 
convinced  him  that  it  was  wise  to  move  on. 
Still,  he  lived  in  that  vicinity,  and  it  was  not 
his  nature  to  remain  long  quiet.  So  a  few 
days  later  Flynn  found  him  holding  forth 
in  the  same  strain  again,  and  again  he  forced 
him  to  move  on.  But  the  policeman  was 
troubled. 

"  '  'T  is  ha-ard  to  know  what  to  do,"  he  told 
his  wife.  "He  do  be  ma-akin'  a  lot  of  throu- 
ble  an'  shtirrin'  up  a  lot  iv  the  ign'rant  gazabos, 
but  if  I  r-run  him  in  't  will  ma-ake  a  martyr  iv 
him,  no  liss  ;  an'  thin,"  he  added  with  a  sigh, 
"  I  'd  be  at  the  nuisance  iv  appearin'  ag'in'  him 

36 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


in  coort,  an'  what  w'u'd  I  sa-ay  to  th'  judge  ? 
Oho  !  I  think  I  see  mesilf . 

"  '  This  la-ad,'  says  I  to  th'  judge,  *  is  shoot- 
in'  off  his  mouth  an'  sayin'  ha-ard  things  ag'in 
th'  governmint.' 

"  f  D'  ye  think  ? '  says  th'  judge  to  me,  c  this 
gr-reat  governmint  is  afraid  iv  th'  idle  vapor- 
in's  iv  wan  misguided  wr-retch  ?  'T  is  the 
worryin'  iv  thim  kind  iv  min  that  br-rings  thim 
to  notice  an'  ma-akes  thim  dangerous.  L'ave 
thim  alone  an'  no  wan  '11  notice  thim.' 

"  Thin  th'  pa-apers  come  out  an'  ta-alk  iv  th' 
policy  iv  ray-prission  accordin'  to  th'  Rooshian 
pla-an  an'  th'  ha-arm  that 's  done  be  it.  An' 
afther  that  't  is  Barney  Flynn  on  th'  carpet  in 
th'  capt'in's  office  f'r  ma-akin'  a  fool  iv  him- 
silf." 

"  Well,  why  don't  ye  1'ave  him  alone,  thin?" 
demanded  Mrs.  Flynn. 

"  Oho  !  there  ye  are  with  ye-er  wise  wor-rds," 
retorted  Policeman  Flynn.  "  Ye  know  it  all, 
iv  coorse  ye  do.  If  ye  only  had  a  shtar  an'  a 
book  iv  r-rules  ye  'd  be  a  whole  po-lis  foorce. 
I  niver  hear-rd  iv  a  woman  sittin'  at  home 
mindin'  th'  shtockin's  that  c'u'd  n't  settle  ivery 
pr-roblem  iv  th'  da-ay.  I  '11  lay  ye  tin  to  wan 

37 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


whin  th'  Prisidint  iv  this  gr-reat  counthry 
comes  in  to  dinner  afther  a  ha-ard  da-ay's 
wor-rk  an'  says,  l  I  'm  havin'  a  bit  iv  throuble 
gettin'  that  threaty  through  th'  Sinit  th'  wa-ay 
I  want  it,'  his  wife  luks  at  him  schornful-like  an' 
tells  him, c If  I  was  a  ma-an  I  'd  put  it  through  in 
wan  da-ay.'  Oho  !  't  is  easy  settlin'  the  gr-reat 
affairs  in  th'  dinin'-room.  '  L'ave  him  alone/ 
says  you.  Sup-pose  I  do  ;  what  thin  ?  Why, 
afther  a  bit  mebbe  somethin'  goes  wr-rong  or  a 
dinnymite  bum  is  found  an'  ivery  wan  is  sheared. 
'  'T  is  the  fault  iv  th'  po-lis,'  they  says.  l  They 
ha-ave  been  givin'  too  much  liberty  to  th'  dan 
gerous  char-acters.  Why,  this  felly,'  says  they, 
'  has  been  havin'  it  all  his  own  wa-ay  over  on 
Pathrolman  Flynn's  beat  whin  he  sh'u'd  have 
been  ray-prissed  at  th'  beginninY  An'  so  I  'm 
on  th'  carpet  ag'in  f'r  derry-lickshun  iv  juty. 
I  tell  ye,  Mary,  ye  get  it  goin'  an'  comin'." 

Having  thus  explained  the  troubles  that  be 
set  official  life  in  a  way  that  will  be  appreciated 
by  men  in  much  higher  positions,  Policeman 
Flynn  prepared  to  drop  the  subject  in  order  to 
give  his  exclusive  attention  to  his  pipe  and  his 
paper.  But  Mrs.  Flynn  was  not  at  the  end  of 
her  resources. 

38 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


"  Why  don't  ye  ha-ave  a  ta-alk  with  him  ? " 
she  asked.  "  Ye  might  tell  him  th'  throuble 
he  's  makin'  ye." 

This  seemed  so  absurd  to  Policeman  Flynn 
that  he  only  laughed.  Nevertheless,  the  idea 
took  root,  and  one  day,  when  opportunity  of 
fered,  he  opened  a  conversation  with  the  anar 
chist. 

"  I  sup-pose,"  he  remarked,  "  that  *t  is  no 
use  discussin'  th'  matther  with  ye,  but  don't  ye 
see  ye  're  wr-rong,  an'  ye  're  only  makin' 
throuble  f'r  ye-ersilf  an'  f'r  me  ?  " 

"  I  have  a  right  to  my  views,"  asserted  the 
anarchist. 

"  Sure  ye  ha-ave,"  admitted  Policeman  Flynn, 
"  but  ye  ha-ave  no  r-right  to  be  foorcin'  thim 
on  others." 

"  They  force  theirs  on  me,"  protested  the 
anarchist. 

Policeman  Flynn  gave  this  phase  of  the 
question  thoughtful  consideration  before  reply 
ing. 

"  Was  ye  bor-rn  in  this  counthry  ? "  he 
asked. 

"  No,"  was  the  reply. 

"  Are  ye  a  citizen  iv  it  ?  " 

39 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


"  No." 

"Ye  ma-ake  me  think  iv  a  felly  I  hear-rd 
iv,"  said  Policeman  Flynn,  ever  ready  to  point 
a  moral  with  a  story.  "  This  felly  had  shtrange 
idees  iv  r-runnin'  his  house,  an'  't  was  all 
r-right  while  he  was  r-runnin'  his  own  house 
an'  not  botherin'  anny  wan  ilse.  But  wan  da-ay 
he  moved  over  to  a  boordin'-house. 

"  '  Come  in,'  says  th'  other  boorders.  '  So 
long  as  ye  pa-ay  ye-er  boord  an'  live  up  to  th' 
r-rules  we  're  glad  f 'r  to  ha-ave  ye.' 

"c  But  I  don't  intind  f'r  to  pa-ay  me  boord,' 
says  th'  ma-an,  *  an'  I  don't  like  th'  r-rules.' 

"  '  There  do  be  twinty  iv  us  here  that  likes 
thim,'  says  they. 

"  '  'T  is  no  matther,'  says  th'  ma-an.  *  I  know 
more  than  all  th'  rist  iv  ye,  an'  ye  '11  ha-ave  f'r 
to  change  thim.' 

"  f  Ye  'd  betther  be  goin'  on  about  ye-er  busi 
ness,'  says  they. 

" '  I  will  not,'  says  th'  ma-an.  '  Here  I  am 
an'  here  I  '11  shtay,  an'  if  ye  don't  change  th' 
r-rules  to  suit  me  idees  I  '11  tear  th'  house 
down,'  he  says.  {  Ye  're  all  fools,'  he  says,  '  an* 
I  'm  th'  only  wise  ma-an,  an*  I  'm  goin'  to  tur-rn 
loose  an'  show  ye  a  thing  or  two.' 

4® 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 

"  They  tuk  him  away  in  an  ambylance," 
asserted  Policeman  Flynn  by  way  of  conclu 
sion.  "  D'  ye  see  th'  p'int  ?  " 

"  No,"  replied  the  anarchist. 

"  If  ye  don't  like  th'  r-rules  iv  th'  house 
ye  're  livin'  in  along  with  a  lot  iv  people  that 
was  there  befoor  ye,  move  back  into  wan  iv 
ye-er  own." 

"  But  I  have  none,"  said  the  anarchist,  at  last 
grasping  the  point. 

"  Thin  build  wan,"  advised  Policeman 
Flynn. 

But,  of  course,  all  this  wisdom  was  wasted 
upon  the  anarchist.  He  continued  to  make 
rabid  speeches  whenever  opportunity  offered, 
and  Policeman  Flynn  continued  to  puzzle  his 
head  as  to  the  best  method  of  procedure  in  the 
matter. 

"  'T  is  a  shtrange  thing,"  he  commented  one 
day,  "  that  so  manny  dirFrint  kinds  iv  la-ads  do 
be  havin'  th'  sa-ame  mother-counthry,  an',"  he 
added,  solemnly  shaking  his  head,  "  ye  niver 
hear  annythin'  iv  th'  father.  It  luks  ba-ad,  it 
do  f'r  a  fact.  Judgin'  be  th'  broods  some  iv 
thim  ol'  mother-counthries  tur-rns  out,  't  is  like 
they  was  married  an'  divoorced  tin  or  iliven 

4* 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 

times,   an'  th'   secret   iv   it   all   lies  in  th'  pay- 
ternity." 

On  another  occasion  he  suggested  to  the  an 
archist,"  Th'  la-ad  that 's  always  heavin'  br-ricks 
is  th'  wan  that  's  surpr-rised  whin  he  gets  wan 
along-side  iv  th'  head.  If  ye  '11  go  home  an' 
think  iv  that  it  ma-ay  save  ye  some  throuble." 

At  last,  however,  the  policeman  outlined  a 
plan  of  campaign.  He  decided  that  a  loitering 
anarchist  was  a  menace,  while  an  anarchist  on 
the  move  was  harmless.  "  'T  is  only  where 
they  shtop  that  they  ma-ake  throuble,"  he  said. 
"  While  they  're  movin'  they  ha-ave  no  chanst." 
It  was  after  he  had  been  obliged  to  order  his  par 
ticular  anarchist  to  "  move  on  "  three  times  in 
one  evening  that  this  great  idea  came  to  him.  He 
took  the  man  by  the  arm  and  walked  him  along. 

"  To  the  station  ?  "  asked  the  man,  bitterly. 

"  Niver,"  answered  Policeman  Flynn.  "  I  '11 
not  do  ye  that  honor.  I  've  thried  ivery  wa-ay 
to  give  ye  a  bit  iv  sinse,"  he  went  on,  "  an'  I 
see  ye  ha-ave  no  pla-ace  f'r  it  in  ye-er  head. 
Whin  ye  ha-ave  business  here  ye  can  tell  me  iv 
it  an'  it  '11  be  all  r-right,  but  whin  ye  ha-ave  none 
ye  '11  have  Pr  to  keep  goin'.  I  '11  ha-ave  none 
iv  ye-er  doin's  on  me  beat." 

42 


He  marched  him  to  the  end  of  his  beat  and 
waited  for  the  next  patrolman  to  show  up. 

"  'T  is  th'  anarchist  that  's  been  annoyin' 
me,"  he  explained,  "  an'  I  '11  not  ha-ave  him  on 
me  beat." 

"  But  I  don't  want  him,"  protested  the  other 
policeman. 

0  Iv  coorse  not,"  said  Policeman  Flynn. 
"  Pass  him  along.  A  movin'  anarchist  '11  niver 
bother  anny  wan." 

Then  he  winked  at  his  brother  officer,  and 
the  latter,  after  a  pause  sufficient  to  enable  him 
to  grasp  the  situation,  laughed  and  took  the 
anarchist  in  tow.  With  a  few  words  of  ex 
planation  the  man  was  later  passed  on  to  a  third 
officer,  and — well,  he  crept  back  to  his  home 
about  two  o'clock  the  following  morning.  Once 
afterwards  the  experience  was  repeated,  and 
then  the  story  reached  the  station. 

"  Barney,"  laughed  the  Captain  when  he 
heard  of  it,  "  you  Ve  solved  a  great  problem. 
If  I  had  my  way,  I  'd  send  you  to  Washington 
to  see  if  you  could  handle  it  on  a  larger 
scale." 

"  'T  w'u'd  be  easy  done,"  answered  Police 
man  Flynn,  "  only  f'r  wan  thing." 

43 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


"  What  's  that  ?  "  asked  the  Captain. 

"  Afther  a  bit  th'  gazabos  w'u'd  1'arn  enough 
f'r  to  get  naturalized  an'  vote,  an'  thin  th'  pol 
iticians  w'u'd  n't  1'ave  me  lay  a  hand  on  thim," 
asserted  Policeman  Flynn,  thereby  adding  ma 
terially  to  his  reputation  for  wisdom. 


V 

HE    LOSES    A 
PRISONER 


CHAPTER    V 


HE    LOSES    A    PRISONER* 


IT  was  when  Policeman  Barney  Flynn  was 
a  new  man  on  "  th'  foorce  "  that  he  lost  a 
prisoner,  and  he  frankly  admitted  after 
wards  that  he  "  niver  sh'u'd  ha-ave  found  him 
in  th'  fir-rst  place."  In  other  words,  experi 
ence  taught  him  that  the  arrest  was  not  justified, 
but  the  new  policeman  invariably  is  jealous  of 
his  authority  and  his  dignity.  So,  when  he  had 
told  the  man  to  move  on  and  the  man  had  re 
torted  by  making  various  sarcastic  and  other 
wise  objectionable  remarks,  Policeman  Flynn 
deemed  it  necessary  for  the  honor  and  dignity 
of  his  official  position  to  assert  himself. 

"  Get  a  move  on  ye,  now,  or  I  '11  r-run  ye 
in,"  he  said. 

*  Republished  by  permission  from  Lippincott's  Monthly  Magazine  for 
May,  1901. 

47 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


"  Well,  run  me  in,"  retorted  the  man. 
"  Don't  stand  there  talking  about  it,  but 
do  it." 

"  I  will,"  said  Policeman  Flynn,  but  he  in 
tended  it  only  as  a  threat. 

"  Well,  why  don't  you  ? "  was  the  taunting 
response. 

The  man  was  one  of  the  aggressively  trou 
blesome  fellows  who  think  they  know  all  about 
individual  liberty. 

"  I  will,"  said  Policeman  Flynn  again,  and 
he  took  the  man  by  the  shoulder.  "  Niver 
will  it  be  said  that  anny  wan  on  me  beat  can 
talk  ba-ack  to  me." 

There  spoke  the  new  policeman  who  makes 
work  for  himself;  the  older  ones  are  never 
so  foolish. 

"  Will  ye  go  quiet-like  or  will  I  ta-ake  a 
club  to  ye  ? "  inquired  the  policeman,  as  he 
tightened  his  grip  on  the  man's  coat. 

"  Oh,  I  '11  go  along  all  right,"  answered  the 
man.  "  I  was  thinking  of  dropping  in  on  the 
Sergeant  anyway,  and  we  '11  just  go  together.  I 
have  n't  seen  him  in  almost  a  year." 

Policeman  Flynn  hesitated.  Men  who  want 
to  see  the  Sergeant  are  a  rarity,  and  there  is  al- 

48 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


ways  a  chance  that  they  have  some  "  infloo'nce" 
at  headquarters. 

"  If  ye  '11  g'wan  about  ye-er  business  I  '11 
1'ave  ye  go,"  he  suggested. 

"  But  I  won't,"  asserted  the  man.  "  I  'm 
under  arrest  and  I  'm  going  to  the  station.  If 
I  Ve  violated  the  law,  you  have  no  right  to  com 
promise  the  matter  with  me — it 's  your  duty  to 
lock  me  up." 

This  sounded  to  Policeman  Flynn  like  a 
"  bluff,"  and  he  made  haste  to  "  call  "  it. 

"  Come  on,  thin  !  "  he  exclaimed.  "  I  '11  put 
ye  behind  th'  ba-ars  fast  enough,  an'  if  ye  don't 
come  willin'  I  '11  ca-all  th'  blue  wagon." 

Nevertheless,  he  was  n't  exactly  satisfied. 
The  prisoner  was  too  willing,  and  it  is  extreme 
ly  disconcerting  to  have  charge  of  a  man  who 
wants  to  be  arrested.  A  man  in  the  strong 
grasp  of  the  law  ought  to  hold  back  and  change 
his  tone.  It  began  to  dawn  on  Policeman 
Flynn  before  they  had  gone  a  block  that  per 
haps  the  man  was  not  "  bluffing  "  after  all.  So 
he  stopped  short  and  released  him. 

"  G'wan,  now  !  "  he  said.  "  I  '11  not  be 
bothered  with  ye  anny  more.  G'wan  home  !" 

"  I  won't,"  answered  the  man.     "  I  'm  your 

49 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


prisoner,  and  if  you  connive  at  the  escape  of  a 
fellow  you  've  placed  under  arrest  I  '11  prefer 
charges  against  you.  I  'm  going  with  you." 

"  Ye  '11  be  sorry  f'r  it,"  suggested  Policeman 
Flynn.  "Ye  '11  find  no  feather-beds  at  th' 
station,  an'  there  do  be  r-rats  in  th'  cells." 

"  I  'm  taking  my  chances,"  returned  the  man. 
"  Come  on  !  " 

"  I    won't,"    said    Policeman    Flynn    in  his 

turn.     "  What    cha-arge    w'u'd   I  make   ag'in' 

^  >> 

ye  r 

"That  's  your  business,"  said  the  man. 

"  If  ye  'd  been  ray-sistin'  an  officer  iv  th' 
la-aw,"  commented  Policeman  Flynn,  "  't  w'u'd 
be  all  r-right." 

"  Oh,  well,  if  it  will  help  you  any,"  said  the 
man,  "  I  '11  resist.  I  '11  punch  you  in  the 
stomach  and  — " 

"  If  ye  do,"  interrupted  Policeman  Flynn 
menacingly,  "  I  '11  hit  ye  a  clip  on  th'  head 
with  th'  club." 

"  Then  take  me  to  the  station,"  persisted 
the  man.  "  I  'm  your  prisoner.  You  've  got 
me,  have  n't  you  ?  " 

"  Divil  ta-ake  ye,  I  can't  lose  ye  ! "  ex 
claimed  Policeman  Flynn,  irritably.  "  G'wan 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


about  ye-er  business  now,  an'  quit  ye-er  wor- 
ryin'  iv  me." 

The  prisoner  caught  the  policeman  by  the 
arm  and  pulled  him  along. 

"  Hang  it  all  !  "  he  cried.  "  Why  don't  you 
do  your  duty  ?  " 

"  L'ave  me  loose  !  "  commanded  Policeman 
Flynn.  "  D'  ye  think  ye-er  th'  whole  po-lis 
foorce  ?  I  '11  not  arrist  anny  wan  on  compool- 
sion." 

"  But  you  Ve  already  arrested  me,"  urged 
the  man. 

"  Thin  I  let  ye  go." 

"  But  I  refuse  to  be  liberated.  Come  on, 
can't  you  ?  "  And  he  almost  dragged  the  re 
luctant  officer  along  the  street. 

"  L'ave  go  iv  me  ar-rm  !  "  cried  Policeman 
Flynn.  "  I  '11  not  ha-ave  anny  man  makin' 
me  lock  him  up  ag'in'  me  will.  L'ave  go,  I 
tell  ye  !  " 

"  Then  come  along  peaceably,"  said  the 
man.  "  You  've  no  right  to  let  me  go,  and 
I  won't  go.  A  police  magistrate  is  the  only  man 
who  can  free  me  after  I  have  been  arrested." 

"  I  '11  not  ta-ake  ye,"  insisted  Policeman 
Flynn. 

51 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


"  If  you  don't,"  asserted  the  man,  "  1  '11 
stick  by  you  until  you  are  relieved  and  have  to 
go  in  to  report.  I  don't  want  any  imitation 
arrest ;  I  want  the  real  thing,  and  it  's  only  fair 
that  I  should  have  it.  The  way  you  're  acting 
is  a  reflection  on  my  dignity  and  makes  me  feel 
mighty  small  and  of  no  account.  Don't  you 
think  I  'm  worth  arresting  ?  " 

"  Iv  coorse  ye  are." 

"  I  'm  not  too  unimportant  to  be  arrested, 
am  I  ? " 

"  Niver  a  bit  iv  it." 

"  Then  why  don't  you  run  me  in  ?  " 

"  I  ha-ave  throubles  enough  now." 

"  But  you  must;   I  insist." 

Policeman  Flynn  drew  a  long  breath. 

"  Be  a  good  felly,  now,"  he  said,  "  an'  g'wan 
about  ye-er  business." 

"  My  business  is  to  go  to  the  station  with 
you." 

"  F'r  why  d'  ye  wa-ant  to  be  conthrary  ?  " 
pleaded  Policeman  Flynn.  "  Can't  ye  do  a 
good  tur-rn  f'r  a  ma-an  ?  " 

"  Do  you  ask  it  as  a  favor  ?  " 

"  F'r  sure.  I  ask  ye  to  g'wan  home  an' 
1'ave  me  alone." 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


"  Oh,  well,  as  a  favor  to  you,"  returned  the 
man,  "  possibly  I  might  consent  not  to  be  ar 
rested  on  this  occasion." 

"  'T  w'u'd  be  a  gr-reat  favor.  I  don't  wa-ant 
ye.  I  ha-ave  no  use  f 'r  ye  at  all." 

"  Then,"  said  the  man,  "  as  a  matter  of  per 
sonal  accommodation  to  you  I  will  leave  you." 

"  Whin  I  wint  on  th'  foorce,"  muttered  Po 
liceman  Flynn,  as  he  resumed  his  beat,  "  I 
thought  I  might  ha-ave  throuble  keepin'  a 
pris'ner,  but  I  niver  knew  't  w'u'd  be  so  har-rd 
f'r  to  lose  wan." 


VI 

HE    RAIDS   A 
"FENCE" 


CHAPTER    VI 


HE    RAIDS   A   "  FENCE 

GREAT  was  the  day  that  Policeman 
Barney  Flynn  raided  a  "  fence."  But, 
of  course,  he  never  would  have  done 
it  if  he  had  not  been  properly  prompted  by  his 
wife.  Like  many  another  man,  Policeman 
Flynn  does  not  go  out  hunting  for  trouble  and 
work,  and  it  takes  a  certain  amount  of  feminine 
sarcasm  and  criticism  to  make  him  even  reason 
ably  ambitious.  But  once  roused  to  action, 
there  is  no  man  on  "  th'  foorce  "  who  can  sur 
pass  him  in  either  resourcefulness  or  nerve. 

"Oho  !  I  've  found  a  fince,"  he  announced 
joyously  to  his  wife  one  night. 

"  What  '11  ye  do  with  it  ?  "  demanded  Mrs. 
Flynn. 

"  What  '11  I  do  with  it  ?  "  repeated  Police 
man  Flynn.  "  What  d'  ye  sup-pose  ?  Is  it 

57 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


ye-er  idee  that  I  '11  give  it  ye  f 'r  to  put  r-round 
ye-er  ga-ar-den  ?  'T  is  a  shtrange  conciption 
ye  ha-ve  iv  me  official  juties  an'  th'  worries  iv 
me  daily  toil.  I  pray-sume  ye  think  't  is  a 
shtone  fince  with  filagree  wor-rk  on  th'  ir'n  gate, 
but  ye  're  wr-rong.  This  fince  is  a  pla-ace 
where  shtolen  goods  is  nego-shated  Pr  ha-ard 
cash." 

"  Did  ye  1'ave  thim  at  th'  station  ?  "  asked 
Mrs.  Flynn. 

"  L'ave  what  ?  "  inquired  Policeman  Flynn. 
"  Th'  goods  ?  " 

"  No  ;  th'  min.  They  's  min  that  r-runs  th' 
fince,  iv  coorse.  Did  ye  get  thim  ?  " 

"Ye  'd  like  f'r  to  be  a  widdy,  w'u'd  ye  ?" 
retorted  Policeman  Flynn,  somewhat  warmly. 
"  Ye  'd  like  to  ha-ve  me  go  ferninst  tin  or 
twilve  desp'rit  min  an'  come  home  lukkin'  like 
a  Foorth-iv-July  ta-arget  in  a  shootin'-gal'ry, 
so  's  ye  c'u'd  put  on  ye-er  black  dhress  an' 
ha-ave  ivery  wan  ca-astin'  eyes  at  ye  an'  sayin', 
'  There  goes  th'  widdy  iv  th'  bra-ave  po-lisman 
that  was  planted  awa-ay  with  sivin  pounds  iv 
lead  in  him.'  But  I  '11  not  give  ye  th'  chanst. 
I  '11  ray-poort  th'  fac's  at  r-roll-call  an'  1'ave  th' 
capt'in  plan  th'  raid." 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


"  Ha-and  over  th'  gun  ye  're  carryin',  Bar 
ney,"  said  Mrs.  Flynn,  with  decision. 

"  F'r  why  ?  "  asked  Policeman  Flynn. 

"  Ye  don't  need  it."  answered  his  wife,  with 
infinite  sarcasm.  "  'T  is  you  that  knows  too 
well  how  to  ta-ake  care  iv  ye-ersilf  iver  to 
ha-ave  call  f 'r  a  gun." 

Policeman  Flynn  winced,  but  he  too  well 
knew  the  danger  and  difficulties  of  such  a  raid 
to  be  readily  brought  to  his  wife's  view  of  the 
matter. 

"  'T  w'u'd  be  like  takin'  wan's  own  life  f 'r 
to  go  in  there  alone,"  he  protested. 

"  Surpr-rise  thim,"  advised  Mrs.  Flynn. 
"  Ye  know  they  's  a  fince  there,  ye  know  they  's 
min  comes  there  to  1'ave  goods,  ye  know  th' 
ma-an  that  la-ands  thim  behind  th'  ba-ars  '11  be 
mintioned  in  th'  po-lis  ordhers  an'  '11  be  a  gr-reat 
ma-an  at  th'  station,  an'  ye  know  ye  '11  niver  be 
heard  iv  if  ye  let  some  wan  ilse  do  th'  wor-rk. 
'T  is  f 'r  you  to  ma-ake  a  showin'  f 'r  ye-ersilf." 

"  'T  is  a  post-mortim  showin'  I  'd  be  ma-akin' 
f'r  mesilf,"  returned  the  patrolman,  ruefully. 
"  Ye  don't  undhershta-and  th'  case.  'T  is  not 
th'  fince  alone,  but  th'  gang  that  1'aves  th'  goods 
there,  that  's  to  be  r-rounded  up,  an'  't  is  a 

59 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


desp'rit  cr-rowd.  'T  is  only  me  juty  to  me 
soopeer-yer  officer  to  ray-poort  in  a  case  like 
this." 

"  'T  is  ye-er  juty  to  ye-ersilf  to  show  ye  're  a 
po-lisman  with  a  head  on  ye,"  insisted  Mrs. 
Flynn. 

"  To  prove  I  ha-ave  a  head  on  me  't  is  nic- 
issary  f 'r  to  ha-ave  it  blowed  off,"  commented 
Policeman  Flynn,  lugubriously. 

"  If  ye  ha-ave  n't  th'  injinoo-ity  to  save  it,  't  is 
betther  so,"  asserted  Mrs.  Flynn.  "  Don't  ye 
iver  let  thim  sma-art  day-tictives  get  th'  cr-redit 
f 'r  ye-er  wor-rk,  Barney  Flynn,  or  I  '11  belave 
ye 're  not  Irish  at  all,  but  only  a  Polack  or 
some  other  furriner." 

With  this  the  subject  was  temporarily 
dropped  ;  but  Policeman  Flynn  knew  that  he 
had  to  do  that  particular  job  himself  in  order  to 
have  peace  in  the  family,  and  Mrs.  Flynn  knew 
that  he  would  do  it  and  do  it  well.  He  did 
not  report  his  discovery  at  the  station,  but  de 
voted  his  spare  time  to  further  investigations. 
In  this  he  was  violating  a  rule  of  the  depart 
ment,  but  what  is  a  rule  of  the  department 
compared  with  a  rule  of  the  household  ?  He 
wanted  to  learn  the  habits  and  methods  of  the 

60 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


gang  and  do  the  planning  himself,  well  know 
ing  this  assumption  of  responsibility  would  be 
overlooked  if  he  were  successful.  When  every 
thing  was  in  readiness,  he  outlined  his  plan  to 
his  captain,  and  asked  for  aid  in  making  the  raid. 

"  'T  is  a  desp'rit  cr-rowd,"  he  said, "  an'  may 
be  they  '11  thry  to  break  awa-ay." 

"  You  want  two  men  at  each  entrance,  you 
say  ?  "  queried  the  captain. 

Policeman  Flynn  nodded. 

"  And  how  many  to  go  in  ?  " 

"  Wan.  'T  is  a  nice  inj'yable  bit  iv  spoort  I 
ha-ave  picked  out  f 'r  mesilf." 

"  You  '11  be  killed,"  asserted  the  captain. 
"  As  I  understand  it,  the  stolen  goods  are  left 
in  the  basement  at  odd  times,  and  then  the  gang 
gathers  there  quietly  some  night,  meets  the 
'  fence,'  and  the  business  is  cleaned  up  and  the 
money  paid.  The  only  way  to  do  is  to  over 
whelm  them." 

"  Not  f 'r  an  injane-yus  ma-an,"  answered 
Policeman  Flynn,  confidently.  "  'T  is  me  pur-r- 
pose  to  dhrop  in  on  thim,  but  't  is  not  me  night 
f 'r  dyin'.  I  '11  tell  ye  why."  Here  he  leaned 
over  and  whispered  in  the  captain's  ear. 

The  latter  immediately  began  to  laugh.  Then 

61 


POLICEMAN      F  L  T  N  N 


he  slapped  Policeman  Flynn  on  the  back,  and 
cried  :  "  Go  ahead,  Barney.  You  can  have  all 
the  men  you  want." 

So  it  happened  that  when  Policeman  Flynn 
next  appeared  at  his  home  his  coat  was  split  up 
the  back,  his  trousers  were  torn,  his  collar  was 
half  off,  and  he  was  covered  with  dirt  and  dust. 

"  I  got  thim,"  he  announced  briefly. 

"  Ye  luk  it,"  replied  Mrs.  Flynn,  surveying 
him  critically. 

"  I  surpr-rised  thim." 

"  If  ye  lukked  like  ye  do  now  ye  'd  sur- 
pr-rise  anny  wan." 

"  'T  was  this  wa-ay,"  went  on  Policeman 
Flynn.  "  Th'  gazabo  that  pinches  th'  goods 
takes  thim  to  th'  alley  an'  dhrops  thim  into  a 
chute,  so  's  he  can  ma-ake  his  getaway  quick  if 
they  's  anny  wan  followin'  him.  Oho  !  but  't  is 
well  arra-anged.  Niver  a  wan  iv  thim  that 
shteals  th'  goods  takes  thim  into  th'  place  at 
all,  an'  they  niver  goes  there  only  whin  the  time 
comes  f 'r  th'  fince  to  shquare  up  with  thim,  an' 
thin  they  goes  in  th'  front  wa-ay.  But  't  is  me 
that  found  th'  chute  all  hidden  awa-ay  nice 
where  a  windy  used  f 'r  to  be.  So  I  puts  two 
min  at  th'  front  door  an'  two  min  at  th'  side 

62 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


door,  an'  thin  I  dhrops  in  on  thim  an'  ma-akes 
thim  think  a  bit  iv  th'  judgmint-da-ay  has  come. 
Oho  !  it  ma-akes  me  laugh  to  think  iv  it.  They 
like  to  have  died  iv  heart-failure." 

"  How  'd  ye  go  in,  Barney  ?  "  asked  Mrs. 
Flynn. 

"  I  wint  down  the  chute  like  a  hod  iv  brick, 
an'  la-anded  on  th'  table  where  they  was  sittin'. 
I  had  thim  ma-archin'  out  before  they  knew 
what  was  doin'." 

"  Ha-ave  ye  thim  all  at  th'  station  ?  "  in 
quired  Mrs.  Flynn. 

"  All  but  wan,"  answered  the  patrolman. 

"  Did  he  get  awa-ay  ?  " 

"  M-m-m,  well,  ye  may  sa-ay  he  did — after 
a  fashion;  but  't  is  me  that  knows  where  to  find 
him." 

"  Where  ?  " 

"At  th'  hospittle,"  said  Policeman  Flynn. 
"  He  br-roke  me  fall  as  I  come  down  th'  chute, 
an'  he  got  awa-ay  in  an  ambylance." 


VII 

HE    ADVISES    HIS 
DAUGHTER 


CHAPTER   VII 


HE  ADVISES   HIS   DAUGHTER 

"  T"   "TOW   's  th'    kids,    Maggie?"    asked 
Policeman    Barney    Flynn,  as   he 
settled    himself     for    his    regular 
smoke  one  evening. 

"  I  wish,  Father,"  replied  his  daughter  with 
that  dignity  that  a  year  or  so  as  a  school  teacher 
always  gives  to  a  young  woman,  "  that  you 
would  cease  to  call  me  Maggie.  It  is  so  plebe 
ian.  My  name  is  Marguerite." 

"  Oho  !  listen  to  that,  now  !  "  exclaimed 
Policeman  Flynn.  "  Ye  was  chr-ristened 
Maggie,  but  ye-er  na-ame  is  Margareet. 
M-m-m,  now,  I  wondher  whin  th'  Frinch  crep' 
into  th'  fam'ly  an'  how  't  was  done.  I  niver 
hear-rd  iv  wan  iv  ye-er  ancistors  that  w'u'd 
1'ave  a  Frinchman  near  without  cr-rackin'  him 
on  th'  head.  I  'd  as  soon  hear  ye  callin'  ye-er- 

67 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


silf  Gretchen  or  Franchisca.  'Tis  tin  dollars  to 
tin  cints  th'  gazabo  that  's  been  callin'  to  see  ye 
has  put  ye  up  to  changin'  a  fine  na-ame." 

"  He  's  a  very  excellent  young  man,  Father," 
answered  the  girl  spiritedly. 

"  Mebbe  so,  but  I  ha-ave  me  doubts,"  as 
serted  Policeman  Flynn.  "  I  sh'u'd  n't  ta-ake 
him  f 'r  wan  havin'  th'  r-right  sort  iv  shtuff  in 
him.  There  do  be  too  much  palaverin'  an' 
side-shteppin'  an'  bowin'  about  him  f'r  to 
ca-atch  me  eye." 

"  He  's  a  man  of  polished  manners,  Father," 
insisted  the  girl,  "  and  I  regret  to  say  your 
manners  lack  polish." 

"  R-right  ye  are,"  returned  Policeman  Flynn. 
"  Accordin'  to  th'  po-lis  r-rules  I  have  to  polish 
me  boots  an'  me  buttons  an'  me  ba-adge  an'  me 
belt,  an'  't  is  little  time  I  have  lift  f'r  to  polish 
me  manners.  But  1'ave  that  go.  How  's  th' 
kids  behavin'  ? " 

"  Do  you  refer  to  the  scholars,  Father  ?  " 

"  Maggie,  I  'd  advise  ye  to  be  careful  how  ye 
provoke  th'  oP  man,"  said  Policeman  Flynn 
warningly.  "  'T  is  not  f'r  you  to  be  ray-pro- 
vin'  iv  me.  Wanst  more  I  sa-ay  to  ye,  How  's 
th'  kids  ? " 

68 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 

"Why,  to  tell  the  truth,  Father,"  answered 
the  girl,  seeing  that  it  was  dangerous  to  be  too 
particular  about  the  use  of  words,  "  I  have  been 
having  some  trouble  with  the  larger  boys. 
They  lack  proper  discipline,  and  I  'd  give  a 
good  deal  to  discover  some  way  to  control 
them." 

"  M-m-m,  now,  that  's  too  ba-ad,"  com 
mented  Policeman  Flynn  reflectively.  "  Ye 
sh'u'd  'ave  come  to  me  befoor,  f'r  't  is  on 
thim  things  I  'm  poshted.  I  sup-pose  th' 
wa-ay  Cassidy  conthrolled  th'  wa-ard  caucus 
w'u'd  n't  do  f'r  ye.  Oho  !  't  was  a  gr-reat 
sight,  was  that !  Ye  see,  Cassidy  was  th'  chair 
man,  an'  there  was  some  la-ads  that  was  afther 
r-runnin'  things  their  own  wa-ay.  They 
w'u'd  n't  listen  to  him,  an'  whin  he  'd  pounded 
a  hole  in  th'  table  he  up  an'  let  go  with  th' 
gavel." 

"  Threw  it  at  the  boisterous  ones  ?  "  asked 
the  girl. 

"  He  did  that  same,"  answered  Policeman 
Flynn,  "  an'  th'  gla-ass  iv  wather  follied  th' 
gavel  an'  th'  pitcher  wint  afther  th'  gla-ass,  an' 
he  was  takin'  off  his  boots  f'r  to  heave  at  thim 
whin  ordher  was  reshtored.  Ye  might  thry  it, 

69 


POLICEMAN      F  L  T  N  N 

Maggie — all  but  th'  boots.  Ye  ha-ave  an  ink- 
shtand  an'  a  r-ruler  an'  things  on  ye-er  desk, 
have  ye  not  ?  " 

"  I  'm  afraid  the  Board  of  Education  would 
object  to  such  methods,"  said  the  girl,  smiling 
at  the  absurdity  of  the  plan. 

"  Mebbe  so,"  returned  Policeman  Flynn. 
"  I  Ve  been  ferninst  th'  like  mesilf.  l  Ye 
must  n't  beat  ye-er  pris'ner  all  up,'  says  th' 
Capt'in,  an'  'tis  a  ha-ard  thing  f 'r  to  conthrol  a 
ba-ad  man  without  1'avin'  ma-arks  on  him,  but 
there  do  be  wa-ays  iv  doin'  it.  Ye  might  back- 
heel  wan  iv  thim,  Maggie.  Ye  ha-ave  to  be 
quick,  but  ye  can  throw  him  ha-ard  an'  tell  th' 
boord  he  shtumbled." 

"  That  would  hardly  do,  either,"  asserted  the 
girl. 

"  Thin  pick  out  th'  biggest  wan  an'  poke 
him  in  th'  shtumick.  'T  is  not  a  fair  blow  in 
a  reg'lar  fight,  but  't  is  most  discouragin'  to  th' 
felly  that  's  hit  an'  't  is  a  good  lesson  to  th' 
others.  I  niver  knew  a  felly  that  got  a  poke 
in  th'  shtumick  to  wa-ant  to  go  on  fightin'. 
An'  it  1'aves  no  ma-ark  on  him." 

The  girl  smiled  again  and  shook  her  head. 

"  Sta-amp  on  his  fut,  thin,"  suggested  Police- 
70 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 

man  Flynn  as  a  last  resort.  "  Wan  good  bang 
on  th'  toes  '11  ind  all  th7  throuble,  an'  if  ye  're 
shpry  ye  can  do  up  tin  or  iliven  iv  thim  befoor 
they  know  ye  're  sta-arted." 

"  I  think,  Father,  you  'd  better  leave  the 
management  of  my  school  to  me,"  said  the  girl. 

"  Oho  !  ye  're  too  sma-art  f 'r  to  take  th'  ad 
vice  iv  thim  that  's  been  infoorcin'  ordher  since 
befoor  ye  was  bor-rn,"  retorted  Policeman 
Flynn  in  a  tone  that  showed  he  was  offended 
by  her  apparent  lack  of  appreciation.  In  conse 
quence  she  deemed  it  wise  to  change  the  subject. 

"  Father,"  she  said,  "  why  are  you  so  preju 
diced  against  the  young  man  who — " 

"  Don't  ta-alk  to  me  iv  that  gazabo,"  inter 
rupted  Policeman  Flynn,  surmising  at  once 
who  was  meant.  "  I  don't  like  his  lallygaggin' 
wa-ays.  Why  don't  he  come  here  like  a  ma-an 
an'  sa-ay, c  Is  Maggie  home  ? '  instid  iv,  c  Will 
ye  be  so  kind  as  to  ta-ake  me  ca-ard  in  to  Miss 
Flynn  ?  '  Oho !  whin  I  was  coortin'  ye-er 
mother  thing  's  was  dif 'rint.  A  felly  had  to  be 
a  ma-an  thin  an'  talk  r-right  out  plain  instid  iv 
sindin'  boo-quets  with  a  book  tellin'  iv  what 
th'  flowers  shtand  f'r.  Oh,  ye  need  n't  sa-ay  a 
wor-rd.  I  saw  th'  book  an'  I  saw  ye  shtudyin' 

71 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 

iv  it  th'  time  he  sint  ye  thim  r-roses  an'  things. 
'T  is  not  th'  honest  wa-ay  to  do." 

"  It  's  a  very  pretty  way,"  insisted  the  girl, 
"  and  he  is  a  man  of  both  courtesy  and  courage. 
The  trouble  is  you  have  not  been  brought  up 
in  the  same  atmosphere." 

"  I  '11  thry  him,"  said  Policeman  Flynn,  de 
cisively. 

"  Please  don't  do  anything  rash,  Father," 
urged  the  girl. 

"  'T  will  not  be  r-rash,"  answered  the  police 
man.  "  'T  w'u'd  be  r-rash  in  th'  ol'  da-ays,  but 
not  with  th'  fellies  that  go  coortin'  now." 

Now,  as  a  matter  of  fact,  Policeman  Flynn's 
daughter  was  quite  right.  The  young  man  was 
a  most  estimable  youth,  but  Flynn  did  not  un 
derstand  him.  The  latter  thought  he  detected 
weakness  where  there  was  none,  because  in  his 
youthful  surroundings  young  men  had  been 
judged  by  a  rougher  standard.  So  he  acted  in 
perfect  good  faith  when  he  undertook  to  show 
Maggie  that  her  idol  was  made  of  an  inferior  ar 
ticle  of  clay.  To  do  this  he  deemed  it  necessary 
to  take  radical  action,  so  he  entered  the  room 
one  evening  when  the  young  man  was  calling, 
and  exclaimed,  gruffly  : 

72 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 

"  'T  is  time  ye  sint  th'  young  felly  home, 
Maggie.  Ye  ha-ave  ye-er  wor-rk  to  do  to- 
morry,  and  't  is  a  sha-ame  he  sh'u'd  be  keepin' 
ye  from  ye-er  rist.  I  '11  not  ha-ave  it  anny 
more." 

Thereupon  the  young  man  rose  up  suddenly, 
and  before  Policeman  Flynn  fully  realized  what 
had  happened  he  found  himself  sitting  on  the 
ground  outside  the  window,  where  the  despised 
dude  had  dropped  him.  He  got  up,  shook 
himself,  and  limped  back  into  the  house.  The 
girl  was  frightened  and  in  tears,  but  the  young 
man  promptly  squared  himself  for  another  en 
counter.  Policeman  Flynn,  however,  extended 
his  hand  conciliatorily. 

"  I  wr-ronged  ye,"  he  said.  "Ye  ha-ave  th' 
r-right  shtuff  in  ye  f 'r  to  ma-ake  anny  woman 
happy.  'T  was  me  intintion  to  ma-ake  a  small 
sacrifice  on  th'  althar  iv  me  juty  to  Maggie,  an' 
I  '11  sa-ay  this  to  ye  as  ma-an  to  ma-an  :  Ye  're 
all  r-right,  an'  if  ye  had  th'  shtrength  f'r  to 
ma-atch  ye-er  pluck,  't  is  a  fam'ly  martyr  I  'd 
be  now,  with  th'  wake  comin'  off  to-morry.  If 
ye  've  won  th'  gir-rl  't  is  all  fixed,  f'r  ye  Ve 
won  th'  ol'  ma-an." 


73 


HE    SECURES    A 
CONVICTION 


CHAPTER    VIII 


HE     SECURES    A     CONVICTION 

"  TTF  I  had  me  wa-ay,"  said  Policeman  Bar 
ney  Flynn,  with  conviction,  "  ivery  wan 
iv  th'  po-lis  magisthrates  iv  th'  city  w'u'd 
be  out  carryin'  a  locust   f'r  to  prepa-are  thim 
f'r  their  juties  on  th'  binch." 

"  Locust "  being  a  technical  name  for  a  po 
liceman's  club,  the  full  import  of  this  remark 
must  be  readily  apparent,  and  Policeman  Flynn 
had  good  reason  for  making  it.  His  beat  at 
the  time  lay  in  a  district  where  there  was  a  most 
troublesome  gang  of  hoodlums.  Among  them 
were  some  who  had  passed  from  what  may  be 
termed  "  hoodlumism "  to  actual  crime,  al 
though  of  a  somewhat  petty  nature.  Just  on 
the  verge  of  manhood, — possibly  about  eight 
een  years  of  age, — they  had  lived  in  that  at 
mosphere  of  lawlessness  where  youths  develop 

77 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


early,  and  they  not  only  led  the  younger  ones 
in  a  sort  of  general  rebellion  against  law  and 
order,  but  they  were  personally  guilty  of  many 
troublesome  and  occasionally  costly  depreda 
tions.  Naturally,  they  made  life  a  burden  to 
Policeman  Flynn.  They  played  tricks  on  him, 
they  got  up  mock  fights  to  fool  him,  they  jeered 
at  him,  and  finally  they  began  to  amuse  them 
selves  by  throwing  stones  at  him  whenever  they 
could  do  so  with  reasonable  safety.  He  knew 
that  they  were  responsible  for  the  minor  crimes 
of  which  complaint  was  frequently  made,  but 
he  lacked  evidence,  and  it  was  not  until  he  had 
narrowly  escaped  being  brained  by  half  a  brick 
that  he  finally  took  two  of  the  ringleaders  to  the 
station. 

"  What  's  the  charge  ?  "  asked  the  police 
magistrate  the  next  morning. 

"  M-m-m,  well,  they  's  a  bad  lot,  an'  they 
was  heavin'  r-rocks  at  me,"  answered  Police 
man  Flynn. 

"  Did  they  hit  you  ?  "  demanded  the  magis 
trate.  And  when  the  policeman  admitted  that 
he  had  succeeded  in  dodging  the  missile,  the 
magistrate  added :  "  Oh,  well,  boys  will  be 
boys,  and  we  must  n't  be  too  hard  on  them. 

78 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


If  they  'd  hit  you,  it  would  be  different.  Dis 
charged." 

"  Luk  at  that,  now,"  commented  Policeman 
Flynn.  "  A  big  chunk  iv  a  brick  come  r-right 
f 'r  me  head,  an'  I  duck,  an'  that  lets  thim  go 
free.  'T  was  f'r  me,  I  sup-pose,  to  ha-ave  me 
head  shplit  open  f'r  to  ma-ake  a  case.  Oho  ! 
't  is  a  fine  thing,  is  th'  la-aw  iv  th'  magis- 
thrates.  *  Ha-ave  ye  ye-er  head  with  ye  ? ' 
says  his  honor.  '  I  ha-ave,'  says  I.  c  Ye  ha-ave 
no  bus'ness  to,'  says  he ;  an'  thin  he  says, 
'This  day-findent  is  discha-arged  f'r  th'  reason 
that  Officer  Flynn  comes  into  coort  with  his 
head  on,  thereby  vi'latin'  th'  la-aw.'  I  'd  like 
to  ha-ave  a  ton  iv  that  la-aw  f'r  to  throw  in  th' 
river.  Ye  've  got  to  ha-ave  th'  ividence,  a 
ca-art-load  iv  it.  'T  is  like  this  :  A  felly  comes 
cr-reepin'  up  behind  a  ma-an  with  a  knife  in 
his  ha-and.  ( 'T  is  me  juty,'  says  I  to  mesilf, 
c  f'r  to  arrist  him.'  c  Wait,'  says  th'  la-aw  to 
me,  c  f'r  may-be  he  '11  kill  th'  ma-an,  an'  thin 
ye  '11  ha-ave  a  good  case.'  Oho  !  't  is  a  gr-reat 
thing  to  know  th'  la-aw." 

Fortunately,  however,  these  remarks  were 
not  made  in  the  hearing  of  the  court,  and  Po 
liceman  Flynn  returned  to  his  beat.  Natur- 

79 


POLICEMAN      F  L  T  N  N 

ally,  his  troubles  were  not  lessened  by  his  fail 
ure  to  secure  a  conviction,  for  the  gang  became 
bolder  and  more  demonstrative  than  ever.  But 
the  policeman  patiently  awaited  his  opportun 
ity,  and  before  long  he  had  the  same  two  in 
custody  again,  with  what  he  believed  to  be  a 
good  case  against  them. 

"  'T  was  like  this,"  he  explained  in  court  the 
following  day :  "  Th'  door  iv  th'  groc'ry  is 
open,  an'  th'  two  pris'ners  is  r-runnin'  awa-ay. 
I  follies  thim  an'  shtumbles  over  a  ham,  which 
they  dr-ropped." 

"  Did  you  see  them  drop  it  ?  "  asked  the 
boys'  lawyer. 

"  Ivcoorse  not,"  answered  Policeman  Flynn, 
"  but  't  is  not  to  be  sup-posed  th'  ham  wa-alked 
down  th'  alley  be  itsilf.  They  's  a  lot  iv  fruit, 
too,  leadin'  all  th'  wa-ay  to  where  th'  byes  is 
r-rounded  up,  an'  they  ha-ave  a  pocketful  iv 
cha-ange  taken  from  th'  till." 

"  How  do  you  know  it  was  taken  from  the 
till  ?  "  demanded  the  lawyer. 

"  Because  't  is  not  in  th'  till  now,"  replied 
Policeman  Flynn. 

"  Oh,  well,"  said  the  judge,  at  the  conclusion 
of  the  hearing,  "  there  is  nothing  to  show  that 

go 


T<wo  more  dejected  specimens  of  humanity  never 
appeared  there. ' ' 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 

they  are  the  ones  who  dropped  the  ham  and 
the  fruit,  and  they  give  a  very  plausible  expla 
nation  of  the  possession  of  so  much  small 
change.  The  evidence  is  purely  circumstan 
tial,  and  to  send  them  up  would  be  only  to  start 
them  on  the  downward  path.  I  '11  give  them 
another  chance." 

"  Sta-art  thim  down  be  sindin'  thim  up," 
muttered  Policeman  Flynn  to  himself,  as  he 
left  the  court-room.  "  Oho  !  't  is  a  hum'rous 
ma-an  th'  judge  is.  'T  is  a  sha-ame  he  's  not 
editin'  a  comic  pa-aper,  it  is  that.  Sta-art  thim  ! 
Why,  't  is  thim  same  la-ads  that  's  r-ridin'  a 
tandim  bi-sickle  on  th'  down'ard  pa-ath  now 
with  th'  br-rake  br-roke." 

That  night,  as  usual,  he  told  his  troubles  to 
his  wife,  but  he  got  little  sympathy  from  her. 

"  If  ye  're  an  injane-yus  ma-an,"  she  said, 
"  ye  '11  land  thim  fellies  with  th'  goods  on  thim. 
'T  is  th'  only  wa-ay,  an'  ye  're  long  enough  on 
th'  foorce  f'r  to  know  it.  Don't  talk  to  me  iv 
th'  judge.  He  knows  what  he  wa-ants,  an' 
't  is  f'r  you  to  give  it  to  him." 

Policeman  Flynn  shook  his  head  with  the 
doleful  air  of  a  man  who  thought  the  whole 
world  was  against  him  ;  but  he  always  shows 

83 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


best  in  adversity.  In  his  own  language,  he 
"  wint  out  afther  thim  la-ads,"  and  he  got 
them.  He  marched  them  into  the  station  house 
one  night  about  two  weeks  later,  and  two  more 
dejected  specimens  of  humanity  never  appeared 
there.  One  of  them  was  carrying  a  mantel  clock 
heavy  enough  seriously  to  tax  his  strength,  and 
the  other  was  loaded  down  with  brass  andirons. 
One  of  the  officers  in  the  station  made  a  mo 
tion  to  take  the  booty  away  from  them,  but 
Policeman  Flynn  instantly  interfered. 

"  L'ave  thim  alone  !  "  he  cried.  "  I  ha-ave 
thim  with  th'  goods  on  thim,  an'  I'  11  not  1'ave 

O  7 

thim  put  th'  things  down  till  th'  magisthrate  sees 
thim.  I  Ve  wa-alked  thim  from  a  mile  awa-ay, 
an'  they  '11  not  be  out  iv  me  sight  this  night." 

"  Walked  them  !  "  cried  the  sergeant.  "Why 
did  n't  you  call  the  wagon  ?" 

"  'T  w'u'd  n't  do,"  answered  Policeman 
Flynn.  "  I  c'u'd  n't  keep  me  eye  on  thim. 
I  follied  behind  thim  with  a  gun  in  me  ha-and, 
an'  ma-arched  thim  all  th'  wa-ay,  an'  they  's  no 
wan  takes  thim  things  till  th'  judge  sees  thim. 
Oho  !  I  ha-ave  th'  ividence  this  time.  I  caught 
thim  comin'  out  iv  a  house  with  th'  goods  on 
thim." 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


"  But  they  can't  possibly  hold  those  things 
until  they  get  into  court,"  urged  one  of  the 
other  officers.  "  It  would  wreck  an  Atlas." 

"  M-m-m,  well,  I  'm  not  poshted  on  jogra- 
phy,  but  I  know  a  bit  iv  po-lis  coorts,  an'  I  've 
1'arned  a  few  things  iv  ividence,"  returned  Po 
liceman  Flynn. 

"  Me  back  's  near  broke,  an'  me  arms  is 
fallin'  off,"  whined  one  of  the  culprits. 

"  Shtand  up,  there  !  "  commanded  Policeman 
Flynn.  "  Ye  've  been  playin'  ta-ag  with  me 
long  enough.  Put  th'  clock  on  ye-er  other 
shoulder  an'  shift  ye-er  fut.  'T  will  give  ye  a 
bit  iv  a  r-rest.  Oho  !  ye  had  a  good  laugh  on 
Barney  Flynn  f 'r  not  bein'  able  to  put  ye  over 
twict  befoor,  but  't  is  not  the  sa-ame  now." 

"  You  '11  kill  them,  Barney,"  said  the  ser 
geant.  "  Either  of  those  loads  would  tire  a 
Samson  out  in  fifteen  minutes." 

"  I  '11  show  thim  to  th'  judge  with  th'  goods 
on  thim,"  persisted  Policeman  Flynn,  dogged 
ly.  "  I  '11  ha-ave  no  more  monkey-foolin'  with 
thim  la-ads." 

"  I  '11  draw  a  picture  of  them,  and  you  can 
show  that  to  the  judge,"  suggested  a  police 
man  of  artistic  inclinations. 

85 


POLICEMAN     FLTNN 


Policeman  Flynn  hesitated.  He  had  no  de 
sire  to  inflict  unnecessary  hardship  on  his  pris 
oners,  but  he  did  not  wish  to  take  any  chances. 
He  could  not  forget  that  they  had  been  dis 
charged  twice  before. 

"  Will  ye  all  sign  it  an'  shwear  't  is  th'  wa-ay 
I  br-rought  thim  in  ?"  he  asked. 

D 

"  We  will,"  was  the  prompt  reply. 
And  when  the  evidence  was  produced  in  court 
the  next  day  it  was  pronounced  conclusive. 


IX 

HE    STOPS    AN 
AUTOMOBILE 


CHAPTER   IX 


HE   STOPS  AN   AUTOMOBILE 


"^ITTHOA!"    cried    Policeman    Flynn. 
\\       "  Whoa,  I  tell  ye  !     Shtop  !  " 

The    man    with    the   automobile 
slowed  up,  and  finally  came  to  a  full  stop. 

"  What  's  the  matter  ?  "  he  asked. 

"  Matther  !  "  ejaculated  Policeman  Flynn. 
"  D'  ye  think  this  is  a  speedin'-tra-ack  ?  Ha-ave 
ye  th'  idee  that  th'  people  on  th'  cross-walks 
is  hur-rdles,  an'  that  't  is  f  'r  you  to  show  th' 
kind  iv  a  jockey  ye  are  ?  Are  ye  iv  th'  opin 
ion  that  ye  're  doin'  th'  cha-arge  iv  th'  Light 
Brigade  all  be  ye-ersilf  ?  I  '11  ha-ave  no  auty- 
mobils  goin'  out  afther  th'  record  where  I  'm 
wearin'  a  po-lis  ba-adge." 

"  This  is  n't  an  automobile,"  asserted  the 
man  who  had  been  stopped.  "  I  can't  afford 
anything  so  aristocratic  as  that.  This  is  only  a 
horseless  carriage." 


POLICEMAN     FLTNN 

"  May-be  't  is  so,"  returned  Policeman 
Flynn  ;  "  but 't  is  wr-rong  ye  are  if  ye  think  this 
is  a  copless  boolvar ;  an'  if  ye  persist  in  vi'latin' 
th'  la-aw,  I  '11  r-run  ye  in,  I  will  that." 

"  I  'm  violating  no  law,"  replied  the  man,  in 
a  quiet  tone. 

"  Oho  !  ye  think  ye  're  smar-rt,  don't  ye  ?  " 
exclaimed  Policeman  Flynn.  "  Ye  'd  go  to 
shplittin'  hairs  with  a  po-lisman  an'  thryin'  to 
come  over  him  with  th'  ol'  joke.  Iv  coorse  ye  're 
vi'latin'  no  la-aw  now.  F'r  why  ?  F'r  because 
I  shtopped  ye.  'T  is  not  th'  likes  iv  you  that 
can  throw  down  Barney  Flynn  on  that  gag." 

"  But  I  have  n't  been  violating  any  law,"  in 
sisted  the  man. 

"  Ye  ha-ave  n't !  "  cried  Policeman  Flynn, 
his  breath  fairly  taken  away  by  the  calm  asser 
tion.  "  Ye  ha-ave  n't !  Oh,  no,  iv  coorse  ye 
ha-ave  n't.  Ye  've  only  been  cr-reepin'  along 
like  ye  was  pushin'  a  ba-aby's  go-cart.  Why, 
ye  gasyleen  injineer,  ye  've  been  makin'  twinty 
miles  an  hour." 

"  What  of  it  ?  "  asked  the  man.  "  There  's  no 
law  against  it." 

"  Sa-ay,"  cautioned  Policeman  Flynn,  with 
a  solemn  shake  of  his  head,  "  a  joke  's  a  joke, 

90 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


an'  I  can  ta-ake  wan  with  th'  nex'  ma-an,  but 
don't  be  afther  pushin'  me  too  far,  or  I  '11  ha-ave 
ye  before  th'  po-lis  coort,  I  will  so." 

"  On  what  charge  ?  "  demanded  the  man. 

"  Fa-ast  dhrivin',"  answered  Policeman 
Flynn. 

"  I  have  n't  been  driving  fast,"  asserted  the 
man.  "  I  have  n't  been  driving  at  all.  The 
law  says  c  riding  or  driving  any  horse  or  horses 
or  other  animals,'  and  that  does  n't  affect  me." 

Policeman  Flynn  scratched  his  head.  He 
was  n't  sure  that  the  ordinance  was  correctly 
quoted,  but  neither  was  he  prepared  to  deny  it. 
It  certainly  sounded  right. 

"  Luk  at  that,  now  !  "  he  said  at  last.  "  'T  is 
like  thim  gazabos  that  makes  th'  la-aw  f 'r  to 
1'ave  a  cha-ance  f 'r  th'  ma-an  that  vi'lates  it  to 
shkin  out  iv  it.  Here  I  am  thryin'  to  do  me 
juty,  an'  no  cha-ance  f'r  annything  but  th'  wor-rst 
iv  it,  whativer  I  do.  Th'  la-aw  is  made  f'r  th' 
good  people,  but  't  is  r-read  be  th'  coorts  f'r 
th'  other  wans.  If  they  's  a  hole  in  it,  th'  law 
yer  shticks  a  crowba-ar  in,  an'  th'  judge  gives  a 
bit  iv  help,  an'  bechune  th'  two  they  ma-ake  th' 
op'nin'  big  enough  f'r  to  put  a  locomotive  in- 
jine  through.  If  iver  I  had  th'  ma-akin'  iv  th' 

9' 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


la-aw  I  'd  ha-ave  first  iv  all  in  th'  big  book  a 
sintence  r-readin'  like  this  :  '  Th'  la-aws  herein 
mane  what  they  mane,  an'  not  what  they  sa-ay.' 
'T  is  th'  only  wa-ay,  f 'r  now  whin  a  ma-an 
dhraws  up  a  la-aw  he  knows  what  he  's  afther, 
an'  iverybody  ilse  knows  what  he  's  afther,  but 
th'  coort  takes  two  fa-alls  out  iv  it,  an'  he  gets 
what  he  does  n't  want,  or  ilse  th'  la-aw  is  broke 
into  sma-all  bits." 

"  Well,"  remarked  the  man  with  the  auto 
mobile,  "  if  you  're  through  talking  to  yourself 
I  '11  move  along." 

"  Not  so  fa-ast,"  interposed  Policeman 
Flynn.  "  Ye  may  be  r-right  an'  ye  may  be 
wr-rong,  but  they  's  wan  p'int  I  want  settled. 
D'  ye  intind  to  keep  down  to  th'  la-awful 
shpeed  ?  " 

"  There  is  no  lawful  speed  for  me,"  answered 

the  man  defiantly.    "  I  can  go  as  fast  as  I  want 

» 
to. 

"  M-m-m,  now,"  said  Policeman  Flynn  to 
himself,  as  he  drew  his  hand  thoughtfully  across 
his  chin,  "  I  wisht  I  ha-ad  th'  good  woman 
here  f 'r  to  tell  me  what  to  do.  'T  is  a  mighty 
puzzlin'  thing  ;  but,"  he  added,  addressing  the 
man  with  the  automobile,  "  if  ye  're  goin'  to 

9* 


Flynn  and  the  automobile. 


POLICEMAN     FLTNN 


ma-ake  th'  pe-desthrians  give  exhibitions  iv 
gr-round  an'  lofty  tumblin',  I  '11  take  th'  chanst 
an'  r-run  ye  in." 

"Come  on,"  returned  the  man,  making  room 
for  the  officer  on  the  seat  beside  him. 

Policeman  Flynn  hesitated  for  a  moment,  and 
then  climbed  up. 

"  Go  shlow,"  he  cautioned,  "  or  't  will  be  th' 
wor-rse  f 'r  ye." 

"  You  don't  suppose  I  'm  going  to  take  my 
self  to  the  station,  do  you  ?  "  retorted  the  man. 
"  You  '11  have  to  take  me." 

"  Iv  coorse  I  '11  take  ye,"  said  Policeman 
Flynn.  "'T  is  f 'r  that  I  'm  here.  G'wan,  now." 

"  Go  on  yourself,"  answered  the  man.  u  I  'm 
in  the  hands  of  the  law,  and  so  is  the  automo 
bile.  Let  the  law  run  it." 

"  I  Ve  heard  iv  th'  machin'ry  iv  th'  la-aw," 
commented  Policeman  Flynn,  "  but  't  is  th' 
fir-rst  time  I  was  iver  up  ferninst  it.  D'  ye 
think  I  'm  goin'  to  r-run  th'  autymobil  ?  " 

"  Certainly." 

"  If  I  laid  me  ha-ands  on  thim  handles  we  'd 
be  climbin'  th'  tiligraft-poles  an'  jumpin'  over 
houses  an'  lots." 

"  That 's  your  lookout." 

95 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


"  I  '11  not  touch  thim.  I  ha-ave  a  wife  to 
support,  an'  't  w'u'd  be  a  sha-ame  f 'r  me  to 
ta-ake  me  own  life.  An'  it  luks  to  me,"  went  on 
the  patrolman,  beginning  to  show  signs  of  anger, 
"  like  ye  was  thryin'  to  ma-ake  a  monkey  iv  me." 

"  Oh,  well,  I  '11  do  it,"  replied  the  man,  con- 
ciliatorily,  "  but  I  want  to  caution  you  about 
one  thing.  You  must  n't  touch  me  or  interfere 
with  me  in  any  way  when  I  get  my  hand  on  the 
levers.  If  you  do  we  're  likely  to  go  sailing 
through  the  side  of  a  house." 

"  I  must  1'ave  ye  alone  ?  " 

"  Absolutely." 

"  Thin  don't  ye  put  ye-er  ha-ands  on  thim 
things,  or  I  '11  bat  ye  over  th'  head ! "  exclaimed 
Policeman  Flynn.  "  How  do  I  know  where 
ye  '11  la-and  me  ?  " 

"  You  don't." 

"  Ye  might  r-run  me  miles  awa-ay." 

"  I  might." 

"  Keep  ye-er  ha-ands  off.  I  '11  not  1'ave  ye 
doit."  J 

"  If  you  won't  run  it  and  you  won't  let  me, 
what  are  we  going  to  do  ?  " 

It  was  a  hard  problem,  and  Policeman  Flynn 
looked  puzzled. 

96 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


"  I  wisht  th'  good  woman  was  here,"  he 
sighed.  "  'T  is  a  fine  thing  I  've  been  doin'  to 
mesilf,  an'  me  an  ol'  man  on  th'  foorce. 
M-m-m,  well,  I  '11  take  ye  without  th'  autymo- 
bil." 

"  Somebody  may  run  away  with  it,"  protested 
the  man,  in  alarm. 

"I  '11  ta-ake  th'  r-risk,"  said  Policeman  Flynn. 
"  G'wan,  now!  Out  ye  go!  " 

"Say,"  returned  the  man,  weakening,  "just 
call  it  all  off,  and  I  '11  promise  to  keep  within 
the  lawful  rate  of  speed  for  horses." 

"  Ye  will  ?  " 

"  Sure." 

"  Give  me  ye-er  ca-ard,  so  's  I  '11  know  where 
to  find  ye  if  ye  're  lyin'  to  me."  The  man 
handed  over  a  card,  and  Policeman  Flynn 
jumped  to  the  ground.  "  G'wan,  now,"  he 
said,  and  when  the  man  had  turned  a  corner  he 
drew  a  long  breath  and  muttered  to  himself: 
"  He  had  me  worried,  he  did  that.  Oho  !  't  is 
a  fine  picture  I  'd  make  ma-archin'  him  off  an' 
1'avin'  th'  autymobil  f 'r  th'  la-ads  to  pla-ay 
with !  'T  was  a  gr-reat  bluff  I  put  up,  but, 
thank  Hivin  !  it  la-anded  him." 


97 


X 

HE    HELPS    A 
PRISONER 


CHAPTER   X 

HE   HELPS  A  PRISONER 

RING  in  the  hoboes  !  "  was  the  order, 
and  Policeman  Flynn  knew  that  that 
meant  to  round  up  all  vagrants.  The 
department  had  been  severely  scored  because  of 
the  increase  in  the  number  of  petty  thefts. 

Now,  the  term  "  vagrant "  is  comprehensive 
in  its  meaning,  and  may  be  made  to  include 
many  different  kinds  of  people.  Anyone  who 
has  no  visible  means  of  support  and  no  place 
to  sleep  comes  under  that  general  classification. 
Whether  he  is  anxious  to  steal  or  anxious  to 
work  is  quite  immaterial  ;  if  he  has  no  job  and 
no  home  and  no  money,  he  is  a  vagrant,  and  his 
intentions  count  for  little  or  nothing.  A  man 
of  Policeman  Flynn's  judgment  would  like  to 
discriminate  occasionally,  but,  under  such  an 
order  as  had  been  given,  a  conscientious  officer 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 

has  no  chance.  So,  when  he  saw  the  manager 
of  a  small  manufacturing  establishment  on  his 
beat  holding  a  shabby-looking  fellow  by  the 
collar,  he  knew  that  the  time  had  come  for  him 
to  act. 

"  Here,  officer,"  said  the  manager,  "  run  this 
fellow  in." 

"  What  's  he  been  doin'  ?  "  asked  Policeman 
Flynn. 

"  Oh,  he  's  a  plain  hobo,"  was  the  reply. 
"  This  is  the  second  morning  I  've  caught  him 
sleeping  in  the  doorway,  and  he  had  the  nerve 
to  ask  me  for  a  job." 

"  Why  don't  ye  give  it  to  him  ?  "  inquired 
Policeman  Flynn. 

"  To  him  !  "  exclaimed  the  manager.  "  Why, 
look  at  him  !  Do  you  think  he  really  wants  a 
job  ?  It  's  only  an  excuse." 

"  Ye  can't  tell  be  a  ma-an's  luks  what  he 
wants,"  was  the  sage  suggestion  of  Policeman 
Flynn.  "  To  luk  at  me  mebbe  ye  might  not 
think  I  wa-anted  a  million  dollars."  Then  he 
turned  to  the  vagrant  and  demanded  : 

"  Where  d'  ye  live  ?  " 

"  Anywhere,"  sullenly  answered  the  man. 

"What  d'  ye  do  f  'r  a  livin' ?  " 


POLICEMAN      F  L  T  N  N 


"  I  'm  looking  for  work." 

"  Where  d'  ye  wor-rk  la-st  ?  " 

The  man  gave  him  an  address,  but  added  : 

"  That  was  three  months  ago.  I  got  a  dol 
lar  a  day  as  a  sort  of  general  hustler,  but  they 
cut  down  the  force  and  let  me  go." 

"  An'  ye'  ve  had  no  job  since  ?  No  wondher 
ye  're  lukkin'  r-rocky,"  commented  Policeman 
Flynn.  "  But  ordhers  is  ordhers,  an'  if  ye 
ha-ave  no  home  an'  no  money,  an'  no  wor-rk, 
I  '11  ha-ave  f 'r  to  take  ye  in." 

On  the  way  to  the  station  the  man  com 
plained  bitterly  of  his  hard  luck.  He  was  a  com 
paratively  young  fellow,  but  poorly  equipped 
for  the  battle  with  the  world.  His  education 
had  been  neglected,  and  he  was  handicapped  by 
the  fact  that  he  had  been  prepared  for  neither  a 
business  nor  a  trade.  So,  while  it  was  possible 
to  get  men  of  better  attainments  for  even  minor 
positions,  his  services  were  at  a  discount.  Even 
as  a  day  laborer,  he  lacked  the  physique  that 
would  commend  him  to  an  employer. 

"  But  I  'm  honest,"  he  protested.  "  I  really 
want  to  get  a  job,  but  what  chance  is  there  for 
me  in  these  clothes  ?  " 

"  Thrue  f 'r  ye,"  replied  Policeman  Flynn, 
103 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


looking  at  the  dilapidated  suit.  "  'T  is  like  ye 
dhressed  in  th'  da-ark  an'  did  n't  notice  what  ye 
was  ta-akin'  from  th'  wardr-robe." 

Flynn  was  on  night  duty  at  the  time,  and  the 
arrest  was  made  just  as  he  was  relieved  in  the 
morning,  so  he  brought  the  prisoner  in  himself 
and  had  him  "  booked  "  as  a  vagrant.  Then 
he  sat  about  the  station  and  smoked  for  a  time 
before  going  home  to  breakfast. 

"  'T  is  a  sha-ame,"  he  muttered,  "  that  th' 
la-ad  sh'u'd  be  sint  up  if  he  wa-ants  f'r  to 
wor-rk." 

After  a  little  he  went  to  the  cell  in  which  the 
man  was  confined  and  beckoned  him  to  the 
door. 

"  Honest,  now,"  he  said,  "  w'u'd  ye  wor-rk 
if  ye  had  th'  chanst  ?  " 

u  Just  try  me,"  answered  the  man  in  a  tone 
that  carried  conviction  with  it. 

Policeman  Flynn  left  the  station  in  thought 
ful  mood,  but,  instead  of  going  home  to  the 
waiting  breakfast,  he  went  back  to  his  beat 
and  presently  stopped  at  the  place  where  he 
had  made  the  arrest.  In  one  of  the  windows 
of  the  establishment  was  the  sign,  "  Man 
Wanted." 

104 


POLICEMAN      F  L  T  N  N 

"  I  thought  I  ray-mimbered  it,"  he  said  as 
he  went  in  and  asked  to  see  the  manager. 

"  Ye  're  lukkin'  f 'r  a  ma-an  ?  "  said  Police 
man  Flynn  inquiringly  when  he  had  reached  the 
manager's  office. 

"  Yes,"  admitted  the  manager.  "  Do  you 
know  of  one  ?  " 

"  Ye  're  lukkin'  f 'r  a  ma-an,"  repeated  Police 
man  Flynn,  "  an'  whin  ye  ha-ave  ye-er  ha-ands 
on  wan  that  wa-ants  f 'r  to  wor-rk  ye  sind  him 
to  th'  po-lis  station." 

"  I  'm  looking  for  a  man  and  not  a  hobo," 
retorted  the  manager  sharply. 

"  There  's  th'  makin'  iv  a  ma-an  in  manny  a 
hobo,"  suggested  Policeman  Flynn. 

"  Possibly,  possibly,"  admitted  the  manager, 
"  but  this  is  no  eleemosynary  institution." 

"  Say  that  ag'in,"  said  Policeman  Flynn  ;  "  I 
don't  folly  ye." 

"  I  say  this  is  no  charitable  institution," 
repeated  the  manager.  "  We  're  looking 
for  a  workman  and  not  a  tramp.  Did  that 
fellow  convince  you  that  he  really  wants  to 
work  ?  " 

"  I  '11  la-ay  me  hat  ag'in  a  plugged  nickel 
that  he  wa-ants  f 'r  to  get  a  job  th'  wor-rst 

105 


POLICEMAN      F  L  T  N  N 

wa-ay,"  asserted  Policeman  Flynn.  "If  ye  're 
lukkin'  f 'r  a  ma-an,  why  don't  ye  give  him  a 
chanst  ?  " 

The  manager  looked  surprised,  but  not  con 
vinced. 

"  Why,  as  a  matter  of  fact,"  he  said,  "  I 
don't  believe  he  wants  a  job.  That  was  only 
an  excuse  to  escape  arrest  as  a  vagrant.  Just 
remember  how  he  looked.  Everything  was 
against  him." 

"  An'  iverything  will  be  ag'inst  him  till  some 
wan  gives  him  th'  chanst,"  insisted  Policeman 
Flynn.  "  Oho  !  we  're  a  fine  lot  iv  gazabos  in 
this  wor-rld,  we  are  f'r  sure.  We  throw  a 
ma-an  down  an'  shtandon  his  chist,  an'  thin  we 
ask  him, '  Why  don't  ye  get  up  ?  '  c  I  'm  thryin' 
to,'  says  he ;  £  give  me  a  ha-and,'  he  says. 
'  Get  up  fir-rst,'  we  says,  niver  takin'  a  fut  off 
his  chist;  'we  '11  be  gla-ad  f'r  to  help  ye,'  we 
says,  '  whin  ye  're  on  ye-er  feet.'  Did  ye  niver 
notice  how  we  hold  out  th'  helpin'  ha-and  to 
thim  that  's  up  an'  tur-rn  our  ba-acks  on  thim 
that  's  down  ?  " 

"  To  tell  the  truth,"  said  the  manager 
thoughtfully,  "  if  the  fellow  had  looked  half 
way  decent  and  had  had  a  home  I  would  have 

106 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


been  tempted  to  give  him  a  trial,  for  we  need  a 
good,  willing  man." 

"  Ye  must  ha-ave  a  home  befoor  ye  can  get 
wor-rk  and  ye  must  get  wor-rk  befoor  ye  can 
ha-ave  a  home,"  commented  Policeman  Flynn. 
"  Ye  must  ha-ave  th'  clo'es  f 'r  th'  job,  but  ye 
must  ha-ave  th'job  f 'r  to  get  th'  clo'es.  D'  ye 
see  th'  wa-ay  it  comes  out  ?  " 

"You  're  a  clever  pleader,"  asserted  the 
manager  with  a  laugh.  "  Sit  down  and  tell 
me  what  you  have  learned  about  the  man. 
It  's  strange  to  find  a  policeman  helping  a 
vagrant." 

"  'T  is  often  done,  if  ye  only  knew  it,"  said 
Policeman  Flynn. 

When  the  case  was  called  in  the  police  court 
Policeman  Flynn  gave  all  present  the  surprise 
of  their  lives. 

"  Ye-er  Honor,"  he  said,  "  I  '11  ask  ye  f 'r 
to  1'ave  th'  ma-an  go.  I  made  a  mista-ake. 
He  do  be  havin'  a  job." 

"  He  does  n't  look  it,"  returned  the  magis 
trate.  "  He  looks  like  a  hobo  without  food  or 
shelter.  Has  he  any  money  ?  " 

Policeman  Flynn  looked  troubled,  but  only 
for  a  minute.  Then  he  reached  into  his  poc- 

107 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


ket,  pulled  out  a  silver  dollar,  and  coolly 
handed  it  to  the  prisoner. 

"  Yis,  ye-er  Honor,"  he  said  blandly. 

"  Discharged,"  said  the  magistrate.  Then  he 
added  thoughtfully,  half  to  himself,  "  You  can 
make  a  man  and  unmake  him  and  remake  him, 
and  the  job  that  's  least  often  done  is  the  last 
one,  but  I  believe  that  policeman  is  trying  it." 


XI 

HE    EFFECTS    A 
COMPROMISE 


CHAPTER     XI 


HE    EFFECTS   A   COMPROMISE 

ARNEY,"  said  Mrs.  Barney  Flynn, 
as  the  policeman  settled  himself  for 
a  smoke. 

"  Prisent,"  returned  Policeman  Flynn,  ab 
sent-mindedly  saluting. 

"  Ha-ave  ye  a  minute  to  spa-are  ?  " 

"  I  ha-ave  tin  iv  thim,"  answered  Policeman 
Flynn. 

"  'T  will  be  enough,"  said  Mrs.  Flynn.  "  I 
wisht  ye  'd  run  nixt  door  an'  arrist  Mrs.  Du- 
gan." 

"  F'r  why  ?  "  asked  Policeman  Flynn,  look 
ing  at  her  in  astonishment.  "  Did  she  give  ye 
the  cold  shtare  whin  ye  pa-assed  her  be  th'  cor 
ner,  or  did  she  tell  th'  neigh-bors  ye  was  wearin' 
a  hat  iv  la-ast  year's  crop  ?  " 

"  Ha-ave   a  little   sinse  about   ye,   Barney," 


POLICEMAN     FLTNN 


returned  Mrs.  Flynn,  indignantly.  "  She  do 
be  pilin'  ashes  ferninst  th'  fince,  where  they 
blows  over  an'  roons  the  wor-rk  iv  a  day's 
washin'.  I  ha-ave  th'  clo'es  hung  out  to  dhry, 
an'  whin  I  take  thim  in  me  best  white  pitticoat 
luks  like  a  polky-dot  dhress." 

"  Why  don't  ye  wear  it  f 'r  wan?  "  demanded 
Policeman  Flynn,  pertinently.  "  'T  w'u'd  be 
money  saved." 

"  Barney,  are  ye  a  fool  ?  "  asked  Mrs.  Flynn, 
warmly.  "  Will  ye  arrist  that  woman  or  will 
ye  not  ?  " 

"  'T  is  th'  first  time  I  iver  knew  ye  c'u'd  n't 
hold  up  ye-er  own  ind  with  anny  wan,"  replied 
Policeman  Flynn,  evasively.  "  If  they  was  foor 
to  wan,  't  w'u'd  be  dif'rint;  but  with  wan  to 
wan  I  niver  knew  ye  to  back  down." 

"  Back  down,  is  it  ! "  cried  Mrs.  Flynn. 
"  Sure,  ye  betther  not  sa-ay  that  more  than 
wanst.  Back  down  !  Oh,  me !  Oh,  my  ! 
G'wan  over  an'  ask  Mrs.  Dugan  if  I  backed 
down.  I  give  her  as  good  as  she  give  me 
ivery  time.  D'  ye  think  I  ha-ave  no  tongue 
in  me  head  to  let  th'  likes  iv  her  come  over 
me  ?  " 

"  I  know  ye  ha-ave,"  said  Policeman   Flynn, 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 

with  feeling.  "  But,  accordin'  to  ye-er  own 
shtory,  't  is  an  akel  thing." 

"  'T  is  not,  if  ye  're  a  ma-an,"  asserted  Mrs. 
Flynn  ;  "  if  ye  're  not,  thin  1'ave  me  know  it. 
'T  is  an  akel  thing  bechune  her  an'  me,  with  me 
havin'  a  little  th'  best  iv  it ;  but  her  ma-an  do 
be  a  dhriver  an'  not  a  po-lisman.  F'r  why  are 
ye  on  th'  foorce  ?  F'r  th'  protiction  iv  thim 
as  needs  it.  If  ye  '11  not  shtand  up  f 'r  me,  I 
might  as  well  be  marri'd  to  a  hod-caryer." 

"  Mrs.  Flynn,"  said  the  patrolman,  impres 
sively,  "  there  's  wan  thing  I  'd  like  f 'r  to  tell 
ye.  'T  is  me  that  niver  shir-rked  me  juty. 
I  've  been  ferninst  the  wor-rst  that  iver  come 
down  th'  pla-ank  r-road.  I  've  tuk  three  min 
to  the  station  to  wanst,  an'  I  've  kep'  ordher 
Iliction  Day  in  th'  ha-ardest  disthrict  in  th' 
city.  I  've  tuk  th'  con  min  an'  th'  sthrong- 
arm  min  an'  the  wor-rst  char-acters  that  iver  was 
put  behind  the  ba-ars,  but  I  niver  wint  up  fer 
ninst  a  woman  in  a  clo'es-line  fight,  an'  I  niver 
will  while  I  ha-ave  me  sinses  lift  to  me.  I  'd 
rather  go  to  th'  pa-ark  an'  arrist  th'  tiger  f 'r 
playin'  with  a  blind  pig,  I  w'u'd  that.  I  'd 
rather  r-run  in  th'  elyphant  f 'r  th'  larceny  iv  a 
bale  iv  hay.  I  'd  sooner  dispute  th'  r-right  iv 

"3 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


wa-ay  iv  a  cable-car  with  me  ba-ack  tur-rned 
to  it.  Mrs.  Flynn  " —and  here  he  became 
even  more  impressive — "  I  ha-ave  a  head  iv 
hair  that  I  'd  like  f 'r  to  keep,  an'  't  is  not  to 
me  likin'  to  ha-ave  me  uniform  tore  to  pieces." 

"  Ye  '11  not  arrist  her  ?  "    . 

"  I  will  not." 

"  Will  ye  go  over  and  talk  to  her  fri'ndly- 
like  ? " 

"  What  '11  I  sa-ay  to  her  ?  " 

"  Tell  her  in  a  qui't,  ginteel  wa-ay  that  she  's 
no  la-ady,  or  she  'd  not  be  afther  throwin'  ashes 
where  they  blows  on  me  clo'es,  an'  talkin'  back 
to  her  betthers.  Shpeak  gintle,  iv  coorse,  but 
tell  her  ye  '11  sind  her  to  th'  pinitintiary  and 
br-reak  her  ma-an's  head  in  with  ye-er  club  if 
she  says  wan  wor-rd  more  to  me,  whither  I 
shpeak  to  her  or  not.  Will  ye  do  that  f'r  me, 
Barney  ?  " 

"  I  will  not,"  answered  Policeman  Flynn. 
"  F'r  why  ?  F'r  because  't  w'u'd  be  nicissary 
f  r  to  take  ye  both  in  if  I  tuk  wan." 

This  seemed  to  Policeman  Flynn  to  bean  in 
spiration,  but  he  was  not  posted  on  feminine 
logic  or  he  would  have  known  better.  Wise  and 
sensible  as  Mrs.  Flynn  was  when  advising  him 
114 


Policeman  Flynn  in  a  reasoning  attitude. 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 

in  relation  to  matters  that  did  not  directly  con 
cern  herself,  personal  interest  had  a  tendency  to 
pervert  her  views. 

"  'T  w'u'd  be  a  fine  thing,"  went  on  Police 
man  Flynn,  "  f 'r  me  to  go  ma-archin'  to  th' 
station  with  me  wife  an'  me  neigh-bor's  wife. 
Oho  !  I  think  I  see  mesilf.  '  What 's  th'  charge?' 
says  th'  judge.  f  Disord'ly  conduct,'  says  I. 
'  What  's  they  been  doin'  ? '  says  he.  '  Jawin' 
each  other  over  th'  fince,'  says  I,  *  distur-rbin' 
ivery  wan  in  th'  block.  Me  wife,'  I  says,  '  tells 
me  neigh-bor's  wife  her  father  was  sint  back  be 
th'  immigration  officials  f 'r  th'  reason  he  's 
wanted  f 'r  shtealin'  a  pig,  an'  me  neigh-bor's 
wife  tells  me  own  wife  that  her  brother  's  dodgin' 

D 

th'  po-lis  now.  An'  from  that  they  go  to  callin' 
ha-ard  names  an'  vi-latin'  th'  law.'  'T  w'u'd 
be  a  gr-reat  sight,  it  w'u'd  that." 

"  Ye  c'u'd  n't  arrist  me  f 'r  that,"asserted  Mrs, 
Flynn." 

"  F'r  why  ?  " 

"  F'r  because  I  'm  a  po-lisman's  wife,"  was 
the  confident  reply,  and  then,  considering  that 
matter  settled,  she  returned  to  the  charge.  "  I  '11 
tell  ye  what,  Barney  Flynn,"  she  said,  "  ye  '11 
make  that  woman  ha-ave  a  civil  tongue  in  her 

117 


POLICEMAN      F  L  T  N  N 

head,  or  ye  '11  ha-ave  no  hot  coffee  waitin'  f 'r 
ye  whin  ye  come  home  anny  more.  If  ye-er 
cow'rdly  nature  won't  let  ye  ta-alk  to  th'  woman, 
go  lam  her  ma-an  wanst,  jist  to  let  thim  know 
ye  're  shtandin'  up  f 'r  th'  r-rights  iv  ye-er  wife." 

"  M-m-m,  well,"  replied  Policeman  Flynn, 
apparently  brought  to  terms  by  this  threat,  "  if 
ye  insist,  I  '11  ha-ve  it  out  with  him.  They  's 
no  ma-an  walks  that  I  'm  afraid  to  go  ferninst, 
but  a  woman — "  He  ended  the  sentence  with 
a  shake  of  his  head. 

"  Give  it  to  him  good,"  urged  Mrs.  Flynn. 
"  She  's  been  threat'nin'  to  tell  him  to  knock 
ye-er  head  off.  Give  it  to  him  in  th'  neck." 

"  'T  is  there  I  aim  to  put  it,"  said  Policeman 
Flynn. 

The  matter  being  thus  settled,  nothing  re 
mained  but  to  carry  out  the  plan,  and  Police 
man  Flynn  straightway  hunted  up  Dugan. 
They  shook  hands  in  a  guarded  sort  of  way, 
like  two  watchful  prize-fighters,  and  then  the 
policeman  remarked  casually  :  "  Th'  good  wo 
man  do  be  ha-avin'  some  wor-rds  with  ye-er 
wife." 

"  I  heard  iv  it,"  replied  Dugan,  and  for  a 
minute  they  eyed  each  other  suspiciously. 

118 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


"  'T  is  a  sha-ame  to  ha-ave  quar'ls  bechune 
fri'nds,"  asserted  Policeman  Flynn,  finally.  "  If 
ye  '11  put  a  br-rake  on  ye-er  wife's  tongue  I  '11  do 
th'  same  be  mine." 

"  If  ye  '11  ha-ave  ye-er  wife  keep  her  clapper 
shtill,"  returned  Dugan,  "  I  '11  ha-ave  th'  ash- 
pile  changed." 

"  'T  is  done,"  responded  Policeman  Flynn, 
promptly.  "Will  ye  ha-ave  a  bit  iv  th'  ol'  shtuff 
at  Hogan's  ba-ar  ?  " 

"  I  will." 

When  Policeman  Flynn  reached  home  he 
announced  that  the  ashes  thereafter  would  be 
dumped  elsewhere.  "  But  don't  mintion  it," 
he  cautioned.  "  Don't  say  a  wor-rd  to  Mrs. 
Dugan.  Poor  la-ad,  I  'm  sorry  f'r  him,  an' 
they  's  no  use  r-rubbin'  it  in." 

"  What  did  ye  do  to  him  ? "  asked  Mrs.  Flynn. 

"  I  give  it  to  him,"  answered  the  patrolman, 
"  first  in  th'  mouth  an'  thin  in  th'  neck."  And 
he  added  to  himself,  "  It  wint  down  thatwa-ay, 
f'r  I  saw  it  go." 


XII 

HE    CHASriSES 
HIS    SON 


CHAPTER  XII 


HE   CHASTISES   HIS  SON 

POLICEMAN      BARNEY     FLYNN 
had  just  settled   himself  for  an  "  off- 
duty  "  smoke,  when  his  wife  broke  in 
upon  his  meditations. 

"  Th'  bye  's  been  fightin'  ag'in,"  she  said. 
"  Terry  ?  "  asked  Policeman  Flynn,  without 
any  great  display  of  interest. 

"  F'r  sure,"  replied  Mrs.  Flynn,  scornfully. 
"  Why  d'  ye  ask  thim  fool  questions  ?  Have 
we  anny  other  ?  " 

"  'T  is  you  that  sh'u'd  know,"  retorted  Police 
man  Flynn.  And  then  he  added  :  "  Was  he 
licked  ?  " 

"  He  was  not,"  answered  Mrs.  Flynn,  with 
emphasis. 

"  'T  is  a  good  thing  f 'r  him,"  asserted  Police 
man  Flynn.  "  If  he  'd  got  wan  lickin',  there  'd 
be  another  due  him." 

123 


"  F'r  why?"  demanded   Mrs.  Flyrm. 

Policeman  Flynn  looked  at  her  in  surprise. 

"  Oho  !  ye  're  an  observin'  woman,  ye  are 
that !  "  he  exclaimed.  "  Don't  ye  know  't  is 
th'  wa-ay  iv  th'  wor-rld  f'r  to  lick  th'  ma-an 
that  gets  licked,  an'  be  a  good  felly  with  th' 
ma-an  that  wins  ?  They  's  no  cr-rime  in  th' 
eyes  iv  a  hero-worshipin'  public  like  bein'  done 
up  be  th'  other  felly." 

"  As  an  officer  iv  th'  la-aw  ye  sh'u'd  aim  to 
shtop  fightin',"  urged  Mrs.  Flynn. 

"  Luk  at  that,  now  !  Oho  !  w'u'd  ye  luk  at 
that  ?  "  cried  Policeman  Flynn.  "  Th'  whole 
the'ry  iv  civilization  is  to  teach  min  how  to 
fight,  an'  fight  fair,  an'  thin  ye  'd  call  on  th' 
po-lis  f'r  to  shtop  it.  Th'  ma-an  sinds  his  bye 
to  boxin'-school,  an'  he  says  to  him,  '  L'arn'  f'r 
to  do  up  annybody  ye  go  ferninst,'  an'  th'  bye 
wor-rks  at  th'  job  till  he  thinks  he  knows  how, 
an*  then  he  goes  out  to  find  if  he  's  masthered 
th'  art.  An'  how  's  he  to  find  out,  Mary  ? 
Tell  me  that !  'T  is  only  be  goin'  up  ferninst 
th'  fir-rst  ma-an  that  comes  handy,  an'  he  does 
that  same.  An'  why  sh'u'd  n't  he  ?  Top  an' 
bottom,  crisscross,  up  an'  down,  't  is  all  thesame. 
Iverywhere  ye  tur-rn,  min  is  1'arnin'  to  fight. 

124 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 

I  very  nation  on  th'  fa-ace  iv  the  globe  keeps 
min  f'r  that  pur-rpose,  an'  has  shch'jols  f'r  to 
show  thim  how,  an'  th'  fightin'  ma-an  is  th' 
gr-reat  ma-an.  Whin  he  goes  out  f'r  a  wa-alk, 
th'  gir-rls  make  eyes  at  him,  an'  th'  wimmen 
say,  'My!  ain't  he  han'some  ? '  an'  th'  min 
tur-rn  an'  shtare  at  him  an'  tell  each  other,  ''T  is 
th'  gr-reat  gin'ral '  or  '  'T  is  Adm'ril  Smith.' 
f  What  did  he  do? '  says  you,  not  knowin'  him. 
c  Why,'  says  they,  surpr-rised  at  ye-er  ign'rance 
— '  why,  he  licked  th'  inemy  twinty-siven  times 
without  wanst  shtoppin'  f'r  breakfast.'  An'  th' 
bye  shtandin'  near  an'  hearin'  iv  it  all  goes 
round  th'  corner  an'  whales  th'  fir-rst  la-ad  he 
comes  acrost.  Thin  ye  take  him  in  th'  house 
an'  tell  him  't  is  wr-rong  to  fight,  an'  while 
ye  're  doin'  it,  wor-rd  comes  that  some  wan  has 
neglicted  to  say-lute  th'  fla-ag,  an*  ye  throw 
ye-er  hat  on  th'  floor  an'  jump  on  it,  an'  yell  f'r 
th'  blood  iv  every  ma-an  iv  th'  dasthardly  nation 
that  dared  to  do  it.  Iv  coorse,  Mary,  ye  '11 
undershtand  I  'm  shpeakin'  gin'rally,  an'  notiv 
you  personally.  You,  bein'  a  woman,  c'u'd  n't 
r-reach  th'  p'int  iv  jumpin'  on  ye-er  hat.  But 
't  is  all  th'  same.  Th'  byes  will  fight." 

"  I  sup-pose  ye  '11   be  afther  excusin'  it  be 
125 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


sayin'  that  *  byes  will  be  byes,'  "  suggested  Mrs. 
Flynn,  sarcastically. 

"  I  '11  do  nawthin'iv  th' kind,"  returned  Police 
man  Flynn.  "'Tis  only  that  byes  will  be  min, 
an'  min  will  be  byes,  vicy-versy,  annyway  ye 
wa-ant  to  put  it,  an'  th'  best  ye  can  do  is  f 'r  to 
referee  it,  regardliss  iv  whether  't  is  byes,  min, 
or  counthries.  There  was  Cassidy  over  in  th' 
nixt  blo-ock  beyant,  f'r  inshtance.  Cassidy  'd 
jist  come  from  mass  wa-an  da-ay,  an*  was  feelin' 
pious-like  an'  thinkin'  iv  th'  sins  iv  th'  wor-rld 
growin'  out  iv  vi'lent  timpers,  an'  his  bye  comes 
along  with  a  bla-ack  eye.  '  What  've  ye  been 
doin'  ? '  says  Cassidy.  *  Fightin','  says  th'  bye. 
'  F'r  why  ? '  says  Cassidy.  '  Mickey  Dugan 
ca-alled  me  a  naygur,'  says  th'  la-ad.  *  'T  is  no 
matther,'  says  Cassidy ;  c  ye  sh'u'd  have  kep' 
ye-er  timper.'  An'  with  that  he  whales  th'  bye 
f'r  fightin'.  Not  f'r  bein'  licked,  mind  ye,  but 
f'r  fightin'.  Thin  Cassidy  goes  out  f'r  a  qui't 
shmoke,  an'  whin  he  comes  ba-ack  he  has  his 
coat  r-ripped  an'  a  bump  on  his  head,  an'  his 
good  woman  says  to  him,  '  What  's  happened 
to  ye  ? '  an'  he  says,  'A  ma-an  at  th'  corner  be 
yant  called  me  a  lyin'  thief  iv  th'  wor-rld,  an' 
I  '11  ta-ake  that  from  no  wan  that  lives.'  'T  is 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


th'  same  iverywhere.  We  ha-ave  our  peace 
conf'rinces,  but  we  spind  our  money  on  th' 
big  guns.  I  '11  not  whale  Terry  f'r  fightin' 
whin  he  don't  be  licked  or  don't  jump  on  a 
shmaller  la-ad.  If  he  's  licked  he  sh'u'd  be 
whaled  f'r  to  make  him  fight  ha-arder  the  nixt 
time,  and  if  he  jumps  on  a  shmaller  la-ad  he 
sh'u'd  be  whaled  f'r  bein'  a  cow'rd." 

"  He  's  been  throwin'  r-rocks  at  a  Chinyman, 
too,"  suggested  Mrs.  Flynn. 

"  Oho  !  "  cried  Policeman  Flynn,  "  an'  what 
iv  that  ?  'T  is  wr-rong,  I  grant  ye,  but  th' 
Chink  is  th'  ta-arget  f'r  th'  whole  wor-rld. 
Why,  they  've  been  throwin'  r-rocks  at  th' 
Chink  in  Chiny.  'All  I  ask,'  says  he,  '  is  to  be 
let  alone.  I  'm  doin'  all  r-right  here  in  me  own 
home,  an'  me  only  wish  is  f'r  ye  all  to  keep 
away.'  But  't  is  too  fine  a  grab-bag,  an'  they 
push  him  an'  shove  him  an'  take  a  bit  iv  this  an 
a  bit  iv  that,  an'  whin  in  his  ign'rance  he  gets 
ma-ad, they  all  pitch  in  an'  beat  him  all  up.  'T  is 
not  fair  an'  r-right,  iv  coorse,  an'  I  '11  give  Terry 
a  war-rnin';  but  ivery  wan  's  been  heavin'  things 
at  Chiny  f'r  so  long  that  it  seems  to  th'  byes 
like  th'  c'rect  thing  to  do.  Why,  Mary,  't  is 
only  a  bit  iv  a  time  since  that  wor-rd  come  to 

127 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


th'  station  there  was  a  riot  goin'  on  an'  a  man 
bein'  kilt.  '  Sind  out  th'  wagon  an'  twinty 
min  ! '  cries  th'  capt'in.  c  Hold  on  ! '  says  th' 
man  at  th'  tiliphone.  *  'T  is  Murphy  callin', 
an'  he  says  he  jist  1'arned  't  is  only  a  mob 
beatin'  up  a  Chinyman,  an'  he  wa-ants  to  know 
what  he  '11  do.'  £  Shtop  th'  wagon,'  says  th' 
capt'in, c  an'  tell  Murphy  f 'r  to  bring  th'  Chiny 
man  in  an'  lock  him  up  whin  th'  mob  's  through 
with  him.'  Th'  whole  the'ry  is  that  th'  Chink  is 
committin'  a  cr-rime  be  livin'  at  all,  an'  he  must 
be  ray-formed  iv  that  vice.  I  '11  ta-alk  to  th' 
lad,  but  I  '11  not  whale  him  while  he  has  so 
manny  ba-ad  ixamples." 

"  He  put  a  stone  through  th'  Widdy  Kelly's 
windy,"  urged  Mrs.  Flynn,  as  a  last  resort. 

"  What 's  that:"  exclaimed  Policeman  Flynn, 
suddenly  straightening  up.  "  Vi'latin'  th'  city 
orjinances,  is  he  ?  Deshtroyin'  the  r-rights  iv 
property  an'  interferin'  with  good,  ha-ard- 
workin'  people.  Where  is  he?  'T  is  f'r  me 
to  show  him  th'  la-aws  ferninst  malicious  mis 
chief  is  made  to  be  infoorced." 

From  the  next  room  Terry  had  overheard  this 
remark,  and  before  Policeman  Flynn  could 
reach  him  he  was  out  in  the  back  yard  looking 

128 


"  *  Come  down  out  i*v  that!"  ** 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 

for  an  available  place  of  refuge.  A  tree — the 
only  one  in  the  locality,  and  the  pride  of  Mrs. 
Flynn's  heart — caught  his  eye,  and  he  reached 
the  only  branch  that  would  hold  him  before  his 
father  could  lay  hands  on  him. 

"  Come  down  out  iv  that ! "  commanded 
Policeman  Flynn. 

"  I  '11  not,"  replied  the  boy. 

"  Mary,  bring  me  th'  ax,"  was  the  next  com 
mand. 

"  F  'r  why  ?  "  demanded  Mrs.  Flynn,  scorn 
fully.  "  D'  ye  think  ye  're  a  George  Washin'- 
ton  f 'r  to  be  choppin'  down  threes  ?  If  ye 
wa-ant  th'  lad  't  is  f 'r  you  to  go  up  afther  him." 

Policeman  Flynn  circled  round  the  tree  two  or 
three  times,  but  finally  made  up  his  mind  that 
the  only  thing  for  him  to  do  was  to  follow  his 
wife's  advice.  What  happened  after  that  is 
somewhat  hazy.  It  was  only  a  short  climb,  but 
the  branch  could  not  be  reached  from  the 
ground,  so  the  patrolman  encircled  the  tree  with 
his  arms  and  legs  and  began  the  ascent,  where 
upon  there  was  a  suddenness  and  rapidity  of 
events  that  was  most  mystifying.  It  seemed  as 
if  the  boy  lowered  himself  somewhat  from  the 
limb,  and  one  of  his  feet  certainly  came  in  con- 

131 


POLICEMAN      F  L  T  N  N 

tact  with  his  father's  fingers,  while  the  other 
gave  a  violent  push  to  the  irate  man's  shoulder. 
There  was  a  yell,  and  a  policeman  dropped  in  a 
heap  at  the  root  of  the  tree.  When  he  got  on 
his  feet  again  he  gave  a  wild  jump  and  succeeded 
in  catching  one  of  the  boy's  feet. 

It  is  best  to  draw  a  veil  over  what  immedi 
ately  followed.  When  order  was  finally  re 
stored  as  a  result  of  the  earnest  efforts  of  Mrs. 
Flynn,  the  boy  was  wailing  and  the  man  was 
standing  triumphant  with  a  piece  of  shingle  in 
his  hand. 

"  Did  ye  hear  him  ?  Oho  !  did  ye  hear  him?  " 
cried  Policeman  Flynn.  "  I  c'u'd  have  shtood 
annything  but  that.  Did  ye  hear  what  he  said, 
Mary  ?  " 

"  I — I  '11  never  do  it  again,  father,"  pleaded 
the  lad. 

"  I  sh'u'd  n't  think  ye  w'u'd,"  returned  Po 
liceman  Flynn.  "  Why,  't  is  enough  to  ma-ake 
wan  take  a  scantlin'  to  ye.  D'  ye  mind  what 
he  said,  Mary  ?  Here  was  I  on  th'  har-rd 
ground,  where  I  'd  come  down  like  a  thousand 
iv  brick,  owin'  to  him  kickin'  me  knuckles,  an' 
he  says  to  me,  he  says — 

"  What  did  he  sa-ay  ?  "  asked   Mrs.  Flynn, 


POLICEMAN      F  L  T  N  N 

as  the  patrolman's  excitement  seemed  in  a  fair 
way  to  curtail  his  power  of  speech. 

"  He    says    to    me,    th'    ol'    man,    he    says, 
'W'u'd  n't  thatja-ar  ye?'" 


XIII 

HE    ARRESTS    A 
DEFAULTER 


CHAPTER  XIII 

HE     ARRESTS    A    DEFAULTER 

POLICEMAN  BARNEY  FLYNNwas 
on    reserve    duty    when    the    Captain 
sent  for  him.     The  policeman  sighed, 
knocked  the  ashes  from  his  pipe  into  a  cuspi 
dor,  put  the   pipe  away,  and   laboriously  rose 
from  his  chair. 

"  Some  felly 's  been  makin'  throuble  f'r 
himsilf,"  he  said,  "  an'  Per  me.  'T  is  a  sha-ame 
that  he  sh'u'd  be  so  lackin'  in  sinse  as  to  shpoil 
a  po-lisman's  r-rest  be  committin'  a  cr-rime." 

He  found  a  well-dressed,  prosperous-looking 
man  closeted  with  the  Captain,  and  the  latter 
lost  no  time  in  explaining  the  nature  of  the 
business  in  hand. 

"  Flynn,"  he  said,  "  this  is  Mr.  Baxter, 
whose  confidential  clerk  defaulted  a  few  weeks 
ago,  and  has  been  in  hiding  ever  since  the  short- 

137 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


age  was  discovered.  You  remember  the  case, 
of  course.  Well,  Mr.  Baxter  has  just  received 
reliable  information  that  the  man  secretly  re 
turned  to  his  home  last  night,  and  is  there 
now.  Here  's  a  warrant  for  his  arrest,  and  I 
don't  want  you  to  come  back  without  him. 
Mr.  Baxter  will  go  with  you  to  identify  him." 

Policeman  Flynn  took  the  warrant  and 
turned  to  Mr.  Baxter. 

"  A  despicable  crime,"  commented  the  latter, 
bitterly.  "  He  had  been  with  me  for  years, 
and  I  always  had  been  his  friend.  I  trusted 
him  implicitly." 

"  F'r  sure,"  said  Policeman  Flynn,  but  with 
out  any  enthusiasm.  Then,  as  he  picked  up  a 
pair  of  handcuffs,  he  added,  "  'T  is  best  to  take 
th'  bracelits  along,  f'r  they  ma-ay  be  handy." 

A  carriage  was  waiting,  and  as  Flynn  and 
Mr.  Baxter  rolled  along  the  latter  voiced  his 
indignation. 

"You  can't  trust  anybody  these  days,"  he 
asserted.  "  The  young  men  are  utterly  unre 
liable.  They  all  want  to  live  beyond  their 
means,  and  in  order  to  do  it  they  naturally  have 
to  use  another  man's  money.  It  's  the  age  of 
high  living  and  consequent  defalcations." 

138 


POLICEMAN      F  L  T  N  N 

"  Mebbe  't  is  so,"  assented  Policeman  Flynn, 
"  but  there  do  be  la-ads  I  've  thought  was  hon 
est." 

"  Honest  when  there  's  nothing  they  can 
steal,"  grumbled  Mr.  Baxter.  "  Why,  I  taught 
this  young  fellow  all  that  he  knows  about  busi 
ness — I  gave  him  his  training — and  you  'd 
think  that  gratitude  alone  would  make  him 
faithful  to  me." 

"  Sure  ye  w'u'd,"  admitted  Policeman  Flynn. 
"  'T  is  a  fine  thing,  is  gratichude,  whin  ye  don't 
ha-ave  f 'r  to  feed  a  fam'ly  on  it." 

Mr.  Baxter's  indignation  did  not  permit  him 
to  note  the  sentiment  underlying  this  remark. 

"  I  have  advanced  him  steadily,"  he  went  on, 
"  and  with  increased  responsibilities  I  have 
given  him  more  money  until  at  the  time  he 
stole  from  me  he  was  receiving  $800  a  year,  and 
I  intended  to  make  it  $850  next  year." 

"  Eight  hundred  dollars  a  year,"  repeated 
Policeman  Flynn,  reflectively,  "  an*  iv  coorse  ye 
thrusted  him  with  money." 

"  Certainly.  He  's  had  as  much  as  $15,000 
or  $20,000  in  cash  in  his  keeping  frequently, 
and  practically  all  the  money  that  came  in  or 
was  paid  out  passed  through  his  hands.  Why, 

139 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 

he  began  with  me  as  an  office-boy,  and  I  had 
absolute  confidence  in  him.  I  liked  him,  too. 
I  gave  him  $25  for  a  wedding  present  when  he 
was  married  three  years  ago." 

"  An'  ye  give  him  eight  hundred  dollars 
a  year,"  said  Policeman  Flynn  again,  as  he 
thoughtlesslv  jangled  the  handcuffs  in  his 

O  J        J          O 

pocket. 

"  Don't  do  that !  "  exclaimed  Mr.  Baxter  irri 
tably.  "  It  annoys  me." 

"  Ye  're  not  th'  only  wan  that  's  made  nerv 
ous  be  th'  clink  iv  thim  things,"  retorted  the 
policeman  in  a  tone  that  made  Mr.  Baxter 
straighten  up  suddenly  and  inquire  sharply  what 
he  meant. 

"  Niver  a  thing,"  answered  Flynn  conciliatori- 
ly.  "  I  was  n't  thinkin'  iv  what  I  was  sayin'. 
Me  mind  was  on  a  shtory  I  wanst  hear-rd  iv  a 
hungry  ma-an.  Oho  !  't  is  a  shtrange  story, 
an'  most  like  't  is  wan  iv  th'  fa-able  kind  that 
has  no  thruth  in  thim,  but  it  kind  iv  come  to 
me  now.  I  '11  tell  it  to  ye." 

At  first  Mr.  Baxter  was  inclined  to  protest, 
but  he  thought  better  of  it.  There  was  still 
some  distance  to  go,  and  the  story  might  prove 
amusing,  while  his  thoughts  were  not. 

140 


POLICEMAN      F  L  T  N  N 

"  Ye  see,"  said  Policeman  Flynn,  "  there  was 
a  hungry  la-ad  come  to  th'  door  iv  a  house 
an'  asked  f 'r  a  bite  to  eat. 

"  '  Are  ye  a  honest  ma-an  ? '  says  th'  woman 
iv  th'  house. 

"  '  I  am,'  says  th'  ma-an. 

" c  Thin,'  says  th'  woman,  {  I  '11  give  ye  a 
bowl  iv  porridge — a  fine  la-arge  bowl — an'  a 
shpoon,  an'  whin  ye  've  tuk  three  shpoonsful 
out  iv  th'  bowl  bring  th'  r-rest  iv  it  back  to 
me,  f 'r  I  'm  thinkin'  I  '11  ha-ave  use  f'r  it.' 

"  'T  was  a  ha-ard  job,  but  th'  ma-an  brought 
th'  r-rest  iv  it  back,  an'  th'  nixt  da-ay  he  come 
to  her  wanst  more.  She  give  him  th'  gr-reat 
bowl  an'  th'  sphoon  ag'in  an'  tol'  him  th'  sa-ame 
as  befoor'  an'  he  was  shtill  an  honest  ma-an. 
He  kep'  gettin'  hungrier  ivery  day,  an'  fin'ly, 
be  th'  ind  iv  th'  week,  she  wint  awa-ay  an'  lift 
him  in  th'  kitchen  an'  he  ate  iverything  in 
sight,  so's  she  an'  th'  ol'  ma-an  had  to  go 
hungry  till  th'  nixt  pay  day." 

"  She  was  a  fool,"  asserted  Mr.  Baxter,  al 
though  the  story  had  not  interested  him  par 
ticularly  in  consequence  of  his  preoccupation. 

"  R-right  ye  are,"  acquiesced  Policeman 
Flynn.  "  Whin  't  is  nicissary  to  thrust  food  to 
141 


POLICEMAN      F  L  T  N  N 

a  ma-an,  ye  sh'u'd  feed  him  fir-rst.  Ye  can't 
ixpect  a  hungry  ma-an  f 'r  to  shtay  hungry  whin 
they  's  food  undher  his  nose."  Then,  after  a 
pause,  he  added  thoughtfully,  "  'T  is  a  shtrange 
thing ! " 

"  What  's  a  strange  thing  ? "  asked  Mr. 
Baxter. 

"  I  was  thinkin*  ye  niver  hear  iv  anny  iv  me 
fri'nd  J.  Pierpont  Morgan's  confidintial  la-ads 
r-runnin'  away  with  th'  cash,  an'  he  must  ha-ave 
a  lot  iv  fellies  that  handles  money  f 'r  him.  An' 
I  Ve  hear-rd  that  me  other  fri'nd,  Phil  Armour, 
whin  he  was  livin'  had  plinty  iv  min  that  he 
thrusted." 

"  They  may  have  been  exceptionally  fortu 
nate,"  suggested  Mr.  Baxter. 

"  Mebbe  't  is  so,"  returned  Policeman  Flynn, 
"an*  mebbe  they  Ve  fed  th'  la-ads  befoor  they 
give  thim  th'  porridge  to  look  afther.  Iv 
coorse,"  he  hastened  to  add  as  his  companion 
tried  to  interrupt  him,  "  ye  ha-ave  f 'r  to  wa-atch 
our  f 'r  th'  gluttons  that  's  niver  satisfied." 

"  Are  you  trying  to  defend  this  defaulter  ?  " 
demanded  Mr.  Baxter  with  sudden  dignity. 
"  Are  you  so  far  forgetting  your  place  and  your 
duty  that — " 

142 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


"  Niver  a  bit  iv  it,"  broke  in  Policeman 
Flynn  meekly.  "  'T  is  not  f 'r  me  to  pass 
judgmint  on  thim  that  vi'lates  th'  la-aw,  only  th' 
idee  comes  to  me — well,  niver  mind  !  F  'r 
why  sh'u'd  a  po-lisman  be  botherin'  with  idees 
annyhow  ?" 

Mr.  Baxter  looked  at  him  sharply,  and  then 
turned  away.  Flynn's  words  and  manner  an 
noyed  him,  but  the  offense  committed,  if  any, 
was  intangible,  and  nothing  was  to  be  gained  by 
engaging  in  a  dispute.  So  he  looked  at  the 
buildings  they  were  passing  and  kept  silent  un 
til  Flynn  nervously  jangled  the  handcuffs  again, 
when  he  again  protested  irritably. 

"  'T  is  onintintional,"  apologized  Policeman 
Flynn.  "There  do  be  times  whin  I  r-reach  f'r 
thim  sort  iv  nat'ral-like." 

The  fugitive  was  found  in  the  little  flat  he 
had  occupied  with  his  wife  and  child,  but  the 
arrest  was  not  made  without  trouble.  The 
policeman  on  the  beat  was  stationed  at  the  rear 
entrance  to  prevent  escape  that  way,  but  it 
proved  to  be  an  unnecessary  precaution.  The 
man  saw  them  the  moment  the  door  was  opened 
and  made  a  rush  for  the  rear  ;  but  Flynn  was 
too  quick  for  him.  Brushing  past  the  woman 

143 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


who  opened  the  door  he  was  on  the  fugitive's 
back  before  the  latter  had  taken  half  a  dozen 
steps.  They  went  to  the  floor  together,  while 
the  woman  screamed  and  then  began  to  pom 
mel  and  scratch  Flynn.  In  a  trice,  however,  he 
had  the  handcuffs  on  his  prisoner,  and  as  they 
rose  the  woman  retreated  a  little,  although  her 

*  o 

eyes  still  flashed  defiance  and  anger.  During 
the  struggle  Mr.  Baxter  had  stood  in  the  door 
way,  trembling  with  excitement  and  anxiety  lest 
the  man  should  escape.  Now  he  cried  exult- 
ingly,  "  You  've  got  him  !  You  Ve  got  him  ! 
That  's  the  man  !  " 

"  Now  that  you  have  him,"  said  the  woman 
bitterly,  "  I  suppose  you  will  take  me,  too." 

"  She  interfered  with  you,"  suggested  Mr. 
Baxter,  who  felt  that  both  his  feelings  and  the 
majesty  of  the  law  had  been  ruthlessly  trampled 
upon.  "  Look  at  your  face." 

Policeman  Flynn  drew  his  hand  across  his 
face,  which  was  badly  scratched,  and  then  wiped 
the  blood  away  with  his  handkerchief.  Ignoring 
the  employer,  he  turned  to  the  wife  of  the  former 
employee,  and  asked  :  "  F'r  why  sh'u'd  I  arrist 
ye  ?  F'r  because  ye  thried  f 'r  to  help  ye-er 
ma-an  ?  I  'm  sorry  f 'r  ye  an'  I  'm  pr-roud  iv  ye." 

144 


POLICEMAN      F  L  T  N  N 


She  looked  surprised  ;  then,  as  Flynn  turned 
to  leave  with  his  prisoner,  she  began  to  weep. 
He  looked  at  her,  at  the  modestly-furnished 
flat,  at  the  man  who  had  caused  the  arrest, 
shook  his  head  solemnly  and  marched  his  man 
down  stairs. 

"  I  '11  not  ride  back  with  you,"  announced 
Mr.  Baxter  when  the  street  was  reached. 

"  'T  is  betther  so,"  said  Policeman  Flynn  in 
a  tone  that  made  the  other  flush,  although  it 
gave  no  chance  for  a  protest. 

The  ride  was  made  in  silence  until  the  station 
was  almost  reached.  Then  the  prisoner  remarked, 
"  Some  men  would  have  taken  my  wife  along." 

"  Mebbe  so,"  admitted  Policeman  Flynn, 
"  but,  ye  see,  I  c'u'd  n't  help  thinkin'  what 
w'u'd  happen  to  th'  la-ad  that  come  to  Barney 
Flynn's  house  an'  thried  f 'r  to  put  th'  brace- 
lits  on  him  with  Mrs.  Flynn  lukkin'  on.  I  got 
no  more  than  was  comin'  to  me  f 'r  the  wor-rk 
I  was  doin'." 

When  his  prisoner  was  safely  locked  up 
Flynn  retired  to  the  squad-room,  and  for  a  long 
time  remained  buried  in  thought,  after  which 
he  treated  some  of  his  brother  officers  to  this 
thoughtful  commentary  : 

'45 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 

"  An  edjicated  ma-an,  with  a  business  thrain- 
in,'  an'  a  wife,  an'  a  ba-aby,  an'  docthor's  bills, 
an'  manny  years  iv  faithful  wor-rk,  an'  slathers 
iv  money  passin'  through  his  hands,  an'  him 
gettin'  eight  hunderd  a  year.  Accordin'  to  the 
la-aw  't  is  th*  r-right  thing  I  've  done,  but, 
layin'  th'  la-aw  to  wan  side,  th'  idea  do  be  r-run- 
nin'  in  me  head  that  I  put  th'  bracelits  on  the 
wr-rong  ma-an." 


XIV 

HE    DISCUSSES 
MARRIAGE 


CHAPTER 


HE     DISCUSSES     MARRIAGE 

POLICEMAN  FLYNN'Sdaughter  Mag 
gie  was  ill  at  ease,  and  this  was  so  un 
usual  for  her  that  he  could  not  fail 
to  notice  it. 

"  What  ye  been  doin'?  "  he  asked.  "  Ha-ave 
ye  lammed  wan  iv  th'  kids  too  har-rd  an'  got  his 
parints  afther  ye  ?  " 

"  I  never  inflict  corporal  punishment  on  the 
children  in  my  school,  father,"  answered  the  girl. 

"  Corp'ril  punishment,"  repeated  Policeman 
Flynn,  reflectively.  "  I  sh'u'd  n't  think  ye 
w'u'd.  I  niver  hear-rd  iv  it  before,  but  I  sup 
pose  't  is  th'  kind  iv  punishment  they  ha-ave  in 
th'  ar-rmy.  Annyhow,  I  niver  hear-rd  iv  a 
corp'ril  annywhere  ilse." 

"  I  mean  that  I  never  chastise  them,"  re 
marked  the  girl.  "  I  explained  that  to  you 
once  before." 

»49 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 

t(  Ye  did  that,"  admitted  Policeman  Flynn, 
"  but  I  was  thinkin'  that  mebbe  ye  'd  1'arned 
some  sinse  iv  late.  What  's  throublin'  ye,  anny- 
way  ?  Ha-ave  some  iv  ye-er  gir-rl  fri'nds  been 
sayin'  ye  ha-ave  no  taste  in  dhress  or  that  ye 
have  a  nose  that  's  out  iv  shtyle  ?  " 

"  I  wish  you  would  n't  be  foolish,  father," 
returned  the  girl.  "  I  want  to  speak  to  you 
seriously.  I  'm  thinking  of  getting  married." 

"  To  th'  felly  that  put  me  out  iv  th'  windy  ?  " 

"  Yes." 

"  He  's  a  good  ma-an,"  commented  Police 
man  Flynn.  "  I  like  him." 

"  You  said  he  could  have  me,  too,"  suggested 
the  girl. 

"  R-right  ye  are,"  assented  Policeman  Flynn, 
"  but  I  signed  no  tin-da-ay  note.  I  give  him 
th'  option,  but  th'  time  iv  day-liv'ry  was  not 
fixed,  as  me  fri-nds  iv  th'  Shtock  Exchange 
sa-ay.  Can  he  sup-port  ye  ?  " 

The  girl  hesitated  and  showed  some  con 
fusion. 

"  You  know  I  could  keep  right  along  with 
my  school,"  she  said  at  last,  "  and  in  that  way 
we  could  live  more  comfortably  together  than 
we  can  now  separately." 
150 


"  '  To  tb"  felly  that  put  me  out  i<u  th"  windy  ? ' 


POLICEMAN      F  L  T  N  N 


Policeman  Flynn  looked  at  her  reproachfully. 

"  I  thought  betther  iv  ye  than  that,  Maggie," 
he  remarked.  "  F'r  why  ha-ave  ye  been  edji- 
cated  if  ye  don't  1'arn  sinse  ?  Here  's  a  felly 
that's  shwimmin'  along  in  th'  sea  iv  life,  as  they 
sa-ay  in  th'  books,  an'  he  finds  it  har-rd  work. 
c  'T  is  monot'nous,'  he  says,  c  an'  't  w'u'd  be 
betther  an'  more  inj'yable  if  I  c'u'd  ha-ave  a 
cha-ange.'  So  he  ties  a  shtone  r-round  his  neck 

o 

f'r  to  ray-lieve  th'  monot'ny  iv  shwimmin' 
alone." 

"  But  don't  you  see,  father,"  urged  the  girl, 
"  I  will  be  a  help  rather  than  a  burden  to  him  ?  " 

"  Ye  will — f'r  a  time,"  replied  Policeman 
Flynn,  "  but  th'  the'ry  iv  it  is  all  wrong.  Ye 
ma-ake  me  think  iv  Hogan  an'  Cassidy  in  th' 
r-races  last  Fourth  iv  July.  c  'T  is  a  sha-ame,' 
says  Hogan,  '  Pr  us  to  be  usin'  four  legs  be- 
chune  us  whin  't  is  not  nicissary.  In  th'  in- 
th'rists  iv  economy,'  he  says,  '  let  's  divide  th' 
labor  bechune  us  an'  save  our  shtrength.'  So 
they  ma-ade  it  a  three-legged  r-race,  an'  whin 
th'  rist  iv  th'  la-ads  finished,  owin'  to  keepin' 
sep-rit,  Hogan  an'  Cassidy  was  r-rollin'  on  th' 
ground,  each  wan  accusin'  th'  other  iv  havin' 
held  him  ba-ack.  'T  is  th'  sa-ame  with  marri'ge. 


POLICEMAN      F  L  T  N  N 


If  th'  la-ad  wants  f'r  ye  to  tie  up  to  him  he 
sh'u'd  ha-ve  a  wagon  r-ready  to  carry  ye  over 
th'  coorse,  so  's  ye  won't  be  callin'  names  be 
fore  ye  're  fairly  sta-arted." 

"  I  wish  you  would  n't  talk  in  parables,"  said 
the  girl. 

"  Go  shlow,  there  !  "  cautioned  Policeman 
Flynn.  "Don't  ye  get  to  callin'  names  whin 
I  'm  thryin'  f'r  to  ma-ake  it  plain  to  ye.  'T  is 
this  wa-ay  :  ye  're  each  pushin'  ye-er  little  ca-art, 
an'  ye  think  't  w'u'd  not  be  so  ha-ard  f'r  th' 
two  iv  ye  to  push  wan  big  ca-art ;  but  ye 
f 'rgit  that  't  is  likely  wan  iv  ye  will  ha-ave  to 
get  in  an'  r-ride  afther  a  bit,  an'  th'  other  will 
ha-ave  to  do  th'  wo-ork  f'r  th'  three  iv  ye." 

"  You  mean  two,  don't  you  ?  "  asked  the  girl. 

"  'T  was  three  I  said,"  answered  Policeman 
Flynn.  And  she  hastily  changed  the  subject. 

"  Then  you  think  a  married  woman  ought 
never  to  work,"  she  suggested,  with  a  little  of 
bitterness  and  rebellion  in  her  tone. 

"  Wr-rong,"  returned  Policeman  Flynn,  with 
emphasis.  "There  's  wor-rk  in  th'  house  f'r 
her  to  do,  an'  if  throuble  comes  't  is  r-right  that 
she  sh'u'd  get  outside  an'  help,  too,  if  there  's 
annything  she  can  do  ;  but  't  is  a  mista-ake  to 

154 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


sta-art  in  on  that  idee.  I  ha-ave  ivery  rayspict 
f 'r  th'  married  woman  that  helps  to  ma-ake  th' 
livin'  whin  't  is  nicissary,  but  't  is  diff'rint  whin 
a  gir-rl  an'  a  felly  puts  a  handicap  on  thimsilves 
at  th'  sta-art." 

"  How  was  it  in  your  case  ?"  asked  the  girl. 

"  What  's  that  ? "  demanded  Policeman 
Flynn,  with  some  perturbation. 

"  How  was  it  in  your  case  ?  " 

"  Ye-er  mother,"  answered  Policeman  Flynn, 
evasively,  "  was  a  sooper-yer  woman." 

"How  was  it  in  your  case  ?"  persisted  the 
girl,  quick  to  see  her  advantage. 

"  'T  is  wr-rong,"  asserted  Policeman  Flynn, 
"  f 'r  to  go  into  ancient  histh'ry  f 'r  ixamples  to 
folly.  Th'  wor-rld  's  improvin'." 

"How  was  it  in  your  case?"  repeated  the 
girl,  determined  to  drive  him  into  a  corner. 

"  'T  is  no  jury  thrial  we  're  havin'  here," 
answered  Policeman  Flynn.  "  Th'  coort  's 
adjourned,  an'  we  '11  ha-ave  no  practisin'  iv 
la-awyer  thricks.  I  niver  did  like  thim  new 
woman  idees." 

"  How  was  it  in  your  case  ? "  again  the  girl 
demanded. 

"  Well,  't  was  only  f 'r  a  little  while,"  said 

155 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


Policeman  Flynn,  apologetically.  "  I  had  th' 
promise  iv  a  job  on  th'  po-lis  foorce  with  pay 
enough  f'r  to  keep  a  wife,  or  I  niver  w'u'd 
have  done  it." 

"  But  she  did  continue  working?  " 

"  Only  f'r  a  bit,"  explained  Policeman 
Flynn  ;  "  but  't  is  diff'rint  now." 

"  How  is  it  different  ?  " 

Policeman  Flynn  was  so  uncomfortable  by 
this  time  that  he  began  walking  nervously  back 
and  forth. 

"  Little  did  I  think,"  he  said,  "  that  anny  wan 
but  ye-er  mother  w'u'd  iver  ha-ave  me  wa-alk- 
in'  th'  carpit  in  me  own  home  like  th'  capt'in 
has  th'  la-ads  goin'  at  th'  station  whin  things  is 
wr-rong.  But  ha-ave  ye-er  own  wa-ay,  only  I 
tell  ye  this:  if  he  marries  ye  before  he  can  sup 
port  ye,  I  '11  call  him  Peter — I  will  that." 

"  Why  Peter  ? "  asked  the  girl,  somewhat 
worried  by  this  veiled  threat. 

"  Because,"  replied  Policeman  Flynn,  im 
pressively,  "  Peter  was  th'  ma-an  iv  th'  nurs'ry 
r-rhyme  that  *  had  a  wife  an'  c'u'd  n't  keep 
her.'  " 


156 


XV 

HE    STOPS    A 
RUNAWAY 


CHAPTER    XV 


HE    STOPS   A   RUNAWAY 

THEY    had    been  discussing    the  vari 
ous  duties    of    a    policeman   at    the 
station,    and    the    subject    of    runa 
ways  had  come  up  for  incidental  consideration. 
"  The  way  to  stop  a  runaway,"  the  captain 
had  said,  "  is   to    catch   the   horse   by   the   bit. 
Never  yell  at  him,  for  that  only  frightens  him 
the  more,  and  of  course  the  worst  thing  a  man 
can  do  is   to  get  out  in  the  street  and  jump 
around  and  wave   his   arms.     Just  keep  your 
head,  take  things  cool  and  easy,  and  catch  him 
by  the  bit.     You  might  as  well  try  to  stop  a 
locomotive  by  catching  hold  of  the  tender  as  to 
stop  a  horse  by  grabbing  any  of  the   harness 
back  of  the  bridle." 

"  Is  thim  to  be  ta-aken  as  ordhers  ?  "  Police 
man  Barney  Flynn  had  asked  at  this  point. 


POLICEMAN      F  L  T  N  N 


"  Certainly,"  the  captain  had  replied. 

"  Thin  't  is  me  that  hopes  they  '11  put  cur-rb- 
bits  with  handles  to  thim  on  ivery  hor-rse  in  me 
disthrict,"  had  been  Policeman  Fly  nn's  comment. 

Nevertheless,  these  instructions,  given  half 
jokingly  in  a  general  conversation  some  time 
previous  to  the  events  here  to  be  recorded,  be 
came  firmly  impressed  on  the  policeman's  mind. 
He  referred  to  them  repeatedly  in  his  conversa 
tions  with  his  wife,  and  on  one  occasion,  when 
she  was  endeavoring  to  lay  her  hands  on  their 
elusive  boy  Terry,  he  suddenly  called  to  her, 
"  Ca-atch  him  be  th'  bit !  "  The  subject  seemed 
to  worry  him  not  a  little. 

"  I  wondher,"  he  remarked  on  another  oc 
casion,  "  if 't  was  in  his  mind  I  'd  thry  f'r  to 
ca-atch  him  be  th'  leg." 

"  P'r'aps,"  suggested  Mrs.  Flynn,  "  he  had 
th'  idee  ye  'd  ca-atch  him  be  th'  tail  or  that 
ye  'd  grab  th'  back  iv  th'  wagon  an'  pull." 

"  Oho  !  't  is  likely  so,"  returned  Policeman 
Flynn.  "  But  it  luks  to  me  like  a  mattherthat 
day-pinds  on  circumsthances.  Ye  ray-mimber 
Tim  Dolan,  Mary,  him  that  weighed  two  hun- 
derd  an'  ninety-siven  pounds  in  his  shtockin'- 

c  » 

teet — 

160 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 

"  Ye  're  thinkin'  iv  how  tall  he  was,"  inter 
rupted  Mrs.  Flynn. 

"  I  am  not,"  retorted  the  policeman.  "  I  'm 
thinkin'  iv  th'  size  iv  his  fut  an'  th'  consiquint 
weight  iv  his  boots.  Now  will  ye  hold  ye-er 
clapper  shtill  an'  let  me  ma-ake  me  p'int  on  th' 
shtoppin'  iv  runaways  ?  'T  was  pure  ray- 
soorcefulness  with  him.  Th'  ca-art  was  corn- 
in'  down  th'  shtreet  with  a  little  gir-rl  in  it,  an' 
th'  dog  was  r-runnin'  away." 

"  Th'  dog  ?  "  cried  Mrs.  Flynn,  in  astonish 
ment. 

"  F'r  sure,"  replied  Policeman  Flynn. 
"  'T  was  a  dog-ca-art  made  out  iv  a  soap 
box,  an'  th'  dog  all  iv  a  sudden  wint  afther 
a  cat.  Ivery  ma-an  an'  bye  in  th'  block 
thried  f 'r  to  shtop  it,  an'  not  a  wan  c'u'd  do 
it,  an'  thin  it  come  to  Dolan.  If  he  'd 
hear-rd  th'  capt'in's  talk  't  is  like  as  not  he  'd 
thried  to  ca-atch  him  be  th'  bit,  but  not  bein' 
poshted,  he  used  his  br-rain,  an'  whin  th'  dog 
was  passin'  he  fell  on  him.  'T  was  th'  only 
thing  f'r  a  ma-an  like  him  to  do,  an'  th' 
p'int  I  make  is  that  ye  must  use  a  bit  iv  judg- 
mint  now  an'  thin  an'  not  do  iverything  be 
rule." 

161 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


"  What  happened  to  th'  gir-rl  ?  "  asked  Mrs. 
Flynn. 

"  A  felly  in  th'  nixt  block  caught  her  in  his 
ar-rms  before  she  shtruck  th'  gr-round." 

"  Barney  Flynn,  ye  're  lyin'  to  me  !  "  ex 
claimed  Mrs.  Flynn,  and  she  was  so  indignant 
that  she  refused  to  continue  the  conversation. 
But  Policeman  Flynn  brought  the  subject  up 
again  and  again,  always  holding  that  the  course 
to  be  pursued  ought  to  depend  entirely  on  the 
circumstances,  but  that  it  was,  nevertheless,  the 
duty  of  a  policeman  to  obey  his  superior's 
orders. 

It  was  a  month  or  so  later  that  his  trial  came. 
Shouts  and  cries  attracted  his  attention  one  day, 
and  before  he  fully  realized  what  was  happen 
ing,  a  runaway  horse  attached  to  a  light  wagon 
was  almost  upon  him.  "  Ca-atch  him  be  th' 
bit,"  he  muttered  to  himself,  but  he  could  n't 
get  into  the  street  in  time  even  to  try  that. 
Policeman  Flynn,  however,  is  a  man  of  nerve 
and  daring,  as  has  been  demonstrated  on  many 
occasions.  He  believes  in  doing  things  the 
right  way,  which  is  the  way  provided  for  in  ver 
bal  or  written  police  instructions  ;  but  when  that 
is  impossible,  any  way  is  good  enough  for  him. 

162 


"  A3  be  finally  got  settled  on  the  horse"  s  bead. 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


"  'T  is  wr-rong,"  he  thought,  as  he  caught 
the  tail-board  of  the  wagon  as  it  went  past, 
"  but  't  is  betther  than  not  thryin'  at  all." 

It  required  both  strength  and  activity,  but 
Policeman  Flynn  succeeded  in  swinging  himself 
over  the  tail-board,  and  worked  his  way  along 
the  wagon-box  to  the  seat.  Here  he  found 
that  the  reins  had  fallen  over  the  dash-board, 
and  he  had  to  climb  over  the  seat  to  get 
them.  He  was  just  reaching  for  them,  and 
the  watching  pedestrians  were  starting  a  cheer 
for  his  pluck,  when  the  horse  stumbled  and 
fell. 

"  An'  d'  ye  know,"  he  said  in  telling  about  it 
afterward,  "  th'  very  fir-rst  thing  I  knew  I  was 
sittin'  ashtride  th'  hor-rse's  neck,  an'  I  had  th' 
dash-board  with  me — I  had  that  same." 

At  the  time,  however,  he  had  no  leisure  to 
think  of  that  feature  of  his  trip.  He  merely 
knew  that  he  was  astride  the  neck  of  a  strug 
gling  horse,  and  that  a  lot  of  men  were  giving 
him  advice  from  a  safe  distance. 

"  Sit  on  his  head  !  "  roared  two  or  three. 

"  Why,  ye  divils,"  sputtered  Policeman 
Flynn,  in  the  midst  of  his  wrestling-match, 
"  d'  ye  think  I  wa-ant  f 'r  to  sit  on  his  hoofs  ?  " 

165 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 

"  Hold  him  down  ! "  was  another  cry  from 
the  crowd. 

"  Don't  let  him  get  up ! "  advised  some 
others. 

"  He  '11  get  away ! "  shouted  the  doubtful 
ones. 

"  If  ye  think  so,  why  don't  some  of  ye 
sma-art  lads  put  salt  on  his  tail  ?  "  demanded 
Policeman  Flynn,  as  he  finally  got  settled  on 
the  horse's  head,  and  thus  was  able  to  hold  him 
comparatively  quiet.  4C  Ye  're  a  bra-ave  cr-rowd, 
ye  are,  f'r  sure,"  he  went  on  sarcastically, 
"  shtandin'  there,  afraid  to  give  me  a  ha-and 
whin  I  have  him  down.  If  anny  iv  ye  ha-ave 
hor-rses  iv  ye-er  own  ye  'd  betther  sell  thim  an' 
buy  sheep  f'r  to  dhrive." 

Just  at  this  moment  the  captain  pushed  his 
way  through  the  crowd,  and  a  few  minutes  later 
they  had  the  horse  on  his  feet,  still  nervous,  but 
reasonably  quiet. 

As  a  result  of  his  experience  Policeman  Flynn 
was  a  sight  to  see,  especially  as  he  had  n't  even 
had  time  to  brush  off  his  uniform.  The  cap 
tain  looked  him  over  and  laughed. 

"  What  were  you  doing  out  there  on  his 
neck,  Barney  ?  "  he  asked. 

1 66 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 

The  glance  that  Policeman  Flynn  gave  his 
superior  was  reproachful,  but  the  tone  of  his 
answer,  at  least,  was  respectful. 

"  I  was  in  th'  wagon  fir-rst,"  he  said,  "  but  I 
ray-mimbered  ye-er  wor-rds,  an'  I  come  out 
here  f 'r  to  ca-atch  him  be  th'  bit." 


XVI 

HE    ATTENDS 
A    BALL 


CHAPTER    XVI 

HE    ATTENDS    A    BALL 

POLICEMAN      BARNEY     FLYNN 
stood  before  the  Captain  and  saluted. 
"I  'd  like,"  he   said,  "Prto  be  or- 
dhered  on  th'  night  pathrol  nixt  Chuesday." 

"  Why  ?  "  asked  the  Captain.  "  Day  work 
is  considered  preferable,  and  you  've  had  that 
for  some  time." 

Policeman  Flynn  fingered  his  helmet  nerv 
ously  for  a  minute  or  two  before  replying. 

"  'T  is  a  fam'ly  matther,"  he  said  at  last, 
"  but  I  '11  tell  ye  th'  wa-ay  iv  it.  Ye  see,  th' 
good  woman  is  a  mimber  iv — iv — well,  th' 
name  's  shlipped  me  mind,  an'  what  't  is  all 
about  I  've  give  up  guessin',  but  she  do  be  a 
mimber  in  good  shtandin',  an'  she  's  r-runnin' 
f'r  th'  office  iv  Gran'  Sicritary.  'T  w'u'd  not 
be  worryin'  me,  iv  coorse,  but  f'r  th'  ball  that 's 

171 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


to  come  off  nixt  Chuesday,  whin  she  wants  me 
f'r  to  do  a  bit  iv  campaignin'.  '  'T  is  f'r  you,' 
she  says  to  me, '  to  prove  ye  're  a  pop'lar  ma-an 
with  th'  ladies.  Ye  must  da-ance  with  thim 
an*  be  po-lite  an'  nice  so  's  they  '11  all  be  fallin' 
over  thimsilves  f'r  to  vote  f'r  th'  wife  iv  that 
fine  gintleman,  Barney  Flynn.'  Oho  !  't  is  a 
gr-reat  show  I  'd  ma-ake  iv  mesilf  doin*  th' 
s'ciety  act  at  a  ball." 

"  Well,  if  you  don't  want  to  go,  why  don't 
you  say  so  ?  "  asked  the  Captain.  "  You  can 
say  {  No  '  to  her,  can't  you  ?  " 

"  F'r  sure,"  answered  Policeman  Flynn. 
"  'T  is  no  throuble  at  all  to  say  *  No,'  but  't  is 
th'  divil's  own  job  to  ma-ake  it  shtick.  Ye  may 
be  fir-rm  in  ye-er  tone,  but  if  ye  think  that  inds 
th'  matther  't  is  f'r  you  to  guess  wanst  more. 
c  I  'm  sorry  about  th'  ball,  Maggie,'  says  ye-er 
wife  to  ye-er  gir-rl,  lukkin'  har-rd  at  you ; 
*  't  w'u'd  be  a  gr-reat  chanst  f'r  ye,  but  ye-er 
father  's  that  silfish  he  won't  go.'  An'  th'  nixt 
da-ay  she  says,  f  Ye  might  as  well  give  awa-ay 
th'  new  dhress  I  made  ye,  f'r  ye-er  father  will 
give  ye  no  opporchunity  f'r  to  wear  it.'  Thin 
at  night  she  sighs  an'  rayma-arks,  *  'T  is  too 
bad  Maggie  has  no  chanst  f'r  to  go  in  s'ciety 

172 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 

an'  meet  th'  good  people.'  An'  afther  a  bit  she 
tells  ye  in  a  sa-ad  tone,  '  Mrs.  Bur-rke  '11  beth' 
nixt  Gran'  Sicritary  iv  th'  lodge,  f 'r  her  husband 
is  so  pop'lar  with  th'  ladies.'  Oho  !  if  ye  're  a 
married  ma-an,  Capt'in,  ye  know  ye  niver  can 
r-rule  in  s'ciety  matthers.  Ye  may  be  th'  ma-an 
iv  th'  house  in  some  wa-ays,  but  whin  it  comes 
to  puttin'  ye-er  fut  down  on  a  plan  iv  this  sor-rt 
ye  '11  have  throuble  ma-akin'  ye-ersilf  think 
ye  're  th'  boss." 

"  Oh,  well,  I  '11  order  you  on  night  duty  for 
next  Tuesday,"  said  the  Captain  with  a  haste 
that  showed  he  had  no  disposition  to  discuss 
the  subject  of  home  rule. 

Policeman  Flynn  went  home  jubilant.  He 
ought  to  have  known  better  than  to  think  he 
had  so  easily  outwitted  his  wife,  but  he 
had  the  self-complacency  of  the  average  man 
in  these  affairs  and  considered  the  matter 
settled. 

"  'T  is  a  matther  iv  gr-reat  ray-grit  to  me," 
he  said  to  his  wife,  "  that  th'  Capt'in  has 
ordhered  me  on  night  juty  nixt  Chuesday.  I 
had  me  mind  all  ma-ade  up  f'r  to  go  to  th'  ball." 

Whether  Mrs.  Flynn,  with  feminine  intui 
tion,  had  surmised  what  would  happen,  and 

173 


POLICEMAN      F  L  T  N  N 


had  planned  a  sharp  trick  for  her  lord  and 
master  must  ever  remain  a  matter  of  conjecture, 
but  certain  it  is  that  she  smiled  grimly  as  she 
replied,  "Thin  't  is  all  r- right,  f'r  th'  ball's 
been  cha-anged  to  Wi'n'sday  night." 

Policeman  Flynn  tried  to  look  happy,  but  it 
was  a  hard  task. 

"  'T  is  a  fort'nit  thing,"  he  said,  "  f  r  it  1'aves 
me  free  to  go  with  you  and  Maggie."  But  the 
next  night  he  came  home  with  a  long  face  and 
announced  that  he  had  made  a  mistake  in  the 
orders.  It  was  Wednesday  that  he  was  to  go 
on  night  duty. 

Mrs.  Flynn  smiled  even  more  grimly  than 
before  as  she  said,  "  Oh,  shtrange  is  th'  wa-ays 
iv  th'  wor-rld  that  both  iv  us  sh'u'd  be  wr-rong. 
I  made  th'  mista-ake  iv  thinkin'  they  'd 
cha-anged  th'  ball  night." 

Then  Policeman  Flynn  surrendered  uncon 
ditionally.  He  realized  that  he  was  in  a  trap 
from  which  there  was  no  escape. 

"  I  '11  go,"  was  all  he  said. 

Of  course  it  was  necessary  to  give  him  in 
struction  as  to  his  duties  in  the  premises.  He 
was  to  be  present  as  a  sort  of  political  lieuten 
ant  to  help  her  in  her  campaign  for  office,  and 

174 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


it  was  important  that  he  should  do  his  work  in 
the  most  effective  manner. 

"  Iv  coorse,  Barney,"  she  explained,  "  ye 
must  give  ye-er  attintion  to  thim  that  has  votes, 
and  't  is  not  th'  min  in  this  ca-ase.  Ye  must 
da-ance — " 

"  L'ave  me  out  iv  that,"  he  hastily  inter 
rupted.  "  Sure,  't  is  you  that  knows  I  never 
c'u'd  da-ance.  Oho  !  I  think  I  see  mesilf 
whir-rlin'  r-round  like  thim  fellies  Barnum 
used  f'r  to  bring  over  from  some  haythin 
la-and.  Th'  only  wa-ay  ye  '11  get  me  to 
da-ance  is  th'  wa-ay  th'  byes  did  to  Regan. 
D'  ye  ray-mimber  Regan,  th'  time  they  had  him 
out  to  th'  picnic  ?  He  was  an  awk'ard  felly 
that  niver  had  done  annything  more  gra-aceful 
than  carry  a  hod  iv  brick  up  a  ladder.  He 
c'u'd  n't  da-ance  anny  more  than  a  cow  that  's 
tangled  in  a  ba-arb  wire  fince,  but  th'  byes  an' 
th'  gir-rls  was  bound  f'r  to  have  him  thry,  an' 
so  they  made  a  peg-top  iv  him.  Some  iv  th' 
la-ads  held  him  while  th'  r-rist  iv  thim  wound 
a  clo'es-line  r-round  him.  Thin,  at  th'  wor-rd, 
they  r-run  with  th'  line  an'  he  began  f'r  to 
shpin.  Oho  !  but  I  can  see  him  now !  Talk 
about  ye-er  r-round  da-ances  ?  There  niver 

175 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


was  th'  akel  iv  that  wan  iv  Regan's.  He  'd  be 
shpinnin'  yet  if  he  had  n't  gone  through  a  windy 
iv  th'  pay-vilion." 

"  'T  is  easy  da-ancin',"  urged  Mrs.  Flynn. 
"  All  ye  ha-ave  to  do  is  to  gr-rab  ye-er  gir-rl 
an'  go  r-round  an'  r-round  till  ye  fall  or  th' 
music  shtops." 

"  Will  ye  wind  me  up  ?  "  demanded  Police 
man  Flynn. 

"  Don't  be  ma-akin'  a  fool  iv  ye-ersilf,"  re 
torted  Mrs.  Flynn,  indignantly.  "  Ye  '11  ha-ave 
to  da-ance,  an'  ye  '11  ha-ave  to  talk  to  thim  iv 
parli'mint'ry  la-aw.  Ye  must  luk  it  up  so  's  ye 
can  luk  wise  an'  use  th'  wor-rds  like  ye  knew 
all  there  was  to  it.  'T  is  a  gr-reat  p'int  ye  '11 
ma-ake  f'r  me  in  that,  f'r  ivery  wan  iv  thim 
knows  that  th'  wife  iv  a  ma-an  that  's  poshted 
on  parli'mint'ry  la-aw  is  a  val'able  officer  f'r  to 
ha-ave.  Ye  sh'u'd  hear  Mrs.  Bur-rke's  good 
ma-an  talk  iv  r-rules  iv  ordher  an'  minutes  an' 
th'  com-ity  iv  th'  whole." 

"  'T  is  little  I  know  iv  th'  com-ity  iv  th' 
whole  or  th'  com-ity  iv  th'  half  or  anny  ol' 
com-ity,"  protested  Policeman  Flynn. 

"  Thin  't  is  time  ye  1'arned,"  answered  Mrs. 
Flynn. 

176 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 

Of  course  it  is  unnecessary  to  say  that  Po 
liceman  Flynn  followed  the  course  his  wife 
had  outlined  for  him.  That  was  essential  to 
domestic  peace.  He  mastered  a  few  parlia 
mentary  terms,  and  he  went  to  the  ball,  and 
he  danced.  He  "  gr-rabbed  the  gir-rl  "  and  he 
grabbed  her  tight,  and  then  in  solemn  manner 
they  described  various  uneven  circles  on  the 
floor  of  the  hall.  But  Policeman  Flynn  was 
not  happy.  "  Th'  grabbin'  th'  gir-rl  is  all 
r-right,  if  ye  c'u'd  shtop  there,"  he  said,  but 
he  seriously  objected  to  the  rest  of  the  pro 
gramme.  He  tried  to  beg  off,  but  his  wife 
would  not  permit  it.  Instead,  she  kept  picking 
out  new  partners  for  him,  and  it  really  seemed 
as  if  the  most  influential  members  of  the  lodge 
were  the  homeliest.  She  began  with  girls,  pro 
gressed  to  women,  and  the  end  came  when  he 
saw  her  approaching  with  a  dumpy  and  awkward 
little  woman  who  must  have  weighed  in  the 
neighborhood  of  250  pounds.  "  How  can  I 
ta-alk  parli'mint'ry  la-aw  whin  that 's  shtanding 
on  me  toes  ?"  he  muttered  to  himself,  meanwhile 
looking  about  for  some  means  of  escape.  His 
eye  fell  on  an  open  window  that  seemed  to  have 
been  placed  there  for  his  sole  benefit. 
177 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


When  Policeman  Flynn  struck  the  ground 
he  found  himself  in  a  light-shaft,  walled  in  on 
all  sides.  There  was  no  escape  except  by  means 
of  a  rope  or  a  ladder.  Meanwhile,  the  sounds 
that  came  from  above  told  him  there  was  ex 
citement  in  the  dance-hall,  and  he  waited  pa 
tiently  to  see  what  would  happen  next.  When 
things  had  quieted  down  somewhat  several 
heads  were  thrust  out  of  the  window,  and  his 
wife's  voice  floated  down  to  him  with  the  query, 
"  Barney,  are  ye  there  ?  " 

"  I  am,"  he  replied. 

"  Don't  ye  know  't  is  not  the  wa-ay  out  ?  " 
was  the  next  question,  and  there  was  a  world 
of  sarcasm  in  the  tone. 

"I  'm  not  lukkin'  f'r  th'  wa-ay  out,"  he 
answered  surlily. 

"  Thin  what  are  ye  doin'  there  ?  " 

His  answer  to  this  was  cold  and  pointed, 
and  there  was  something  of  both  bitterness  and 
reproach  in  the  tone  when,  after  a  pause,  he 
trusted  himself  to  speak. 

"  I  'm  shtudyin'  parli'mint'ry  la-aw,"  he 
said.  "  'T  is  a  meetin'  iv  th'  com-ity  iv  th' 
hole." 


178 


XVII 

HE    RESISTS 
TEMPTATION 


CHAPTER  XVII 


HE   RESISTS  TEMPTATION 

TH  E  man  with  the  high  silk  hat  and  the  fat 
cigar  was  the  one  who  put  temptation 
in  the  way  of  Policeman  Barney  Flynn. 
This  man  had  been  successful  as  a  politician  in 
a  minor  way,  and  he  realized  that  there  were 
elements  of  strength   in  the    resourceful,  con 
scientious   little    policeman  who  was  well  and 
favorably  known  to  virtually  every  one  in  the 
ward.     Furthermore,  he  was  looking  for  some 
one  to  run  against  an  old  political  enemy. 

"  Why  don't  you  enter  the  aldermanic  race  ?" 
he  asked  one  day. 

"  Go  'way,  now  ;  go  'way  from  me,"  returned 
Policeman  Flynn,  waving  his  arms  to  keep  the 
man  at  a  distance.  "  Ye  ha-ave  th'  ilimints  iv 
th'  contagion  about  ye,  an'  I  '11  take  no 
cha-ances." 

181 


POLICEMAN      F  L  T  N  N 

"  What  contagion  ?  "  demanded  the  politi 
cian. 

"  Th'  contagion  iv  seekin'  office,"  answered 
Policeman  Flynn.  "  Oho  !  't  is  a  ter'ble  thing 
f'r  to  ca-atch,  an'  th'  cure  f 'r  it  is  not  to  be 
found  this  side  iv  th'  gra-ave.  'T  is  like  th' 
opyum  habit,  only  't  is  wor-rse.  It  dr-rags  ye 
down  an'  down  till  ye  think  th'  city  owes  ye  a 
livin',  an'  if  it  's  back'ard  about  givin'  it  to  ye, 
why,  thin  't  is  f'r  ye  to  ta-ake  it  from  th'  poc 
kets  iv  th'  taxpayers  without  askin'  their  con- 
sint." 

"  Nonsense  !  "  returned  the  politician.  "  Any 
popular  man  who  knows  the  ropes  and  has  good 
advice  can  rise  in  politics.  Why,  five  years 
ago  I  was  doin'  odd  jobs  for  a  livin',  and  look 
at  me  now." 

"  I  know,  I  know,"  returned  Policeman 
Flynn.  "  Five  years  ago  ye  was  doin'  all  kinds 
iv  jobs,  an'  now  ye  're  doin'  all  kinds  iv  min. 
I  ray-mimber  ye  in  th'  ol'  days.  Ye  wore  a 
shabby  suit  iv  clo'es  an'  a  soft  hat,  an'  ye  was 
hustlin'  all  th'  time  ;  an'  now  I  luk  at  ye,  an'  I 
see  a  shtovepipe  hat  on  th'  ba-ack  iv  ye-er  head, 
an'  a  suit  iv  clo'es  that  's  loud  enough  to  be 
hear-rd  a  block,  an'  a  fat  see-gar,  an'  a  watch- 

182 


"  Five  years  ago  I  nvas  doin    odd  jobs  for  a 
//i/»V,  and  look  at  me  now.'  ' 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


chain  that  ye  might  loan  to  th'  capt'in  iv  a  boat 
f 'r  to  hold  his  anchor.  Oho  !  't  is  a  gr-reat 
objec'-lesson  ye  are.  If  ye  go  over  to  Long 
Island  whin  a  prize-fight  's  comin'  off,  they  '11 
take  wan  luk  at  ye-er  r-rig  an'  let  ye  in  as  th' 
manager  iv  th'  show.  Ye  luk  like  a  hot  spoort, 
ye  do  f 'r  a  fac';  but  if  I  had  to  wear  thim  clo'es, 
I  'd  think  th'  pinalty  iv  gettin'  office  was 
gr-reater  than  th'  ray-ward.  Besides,  they  's 
no  chanst  f 'r  me  to  get  through  th'  door  iv 
war-rd  politics." 

"  What  door  do  you  mean  ? "  asked  the 
politician,  ignoring  the  criticism  of  his  personal 
appearance. 

"  Th'  say-loon  door,  iv  coorse,"  replied 
Policeman  Flynn.  "  'T  w'u'd  be  f'r  me  to 
open  a  say-loon  be  wa-ay  iv  startin'  on  me 
career." 

"Oh,  that's  not  necessary,"  protested  the 
politician. 

"  R-right  ye  are  ;  't  is  not,"  admitted  Police 
man  Flynn  ;  "  but  't  is  cheaper  an'  surer  that 
wa-ay.  Th'  cost  iv  settin'  up  th'  dhrinks  is  not 
so  gr-reat  if  ye  're  behind  th'  ba-ar  as  it  is  if 
ye  're  on'  th'  other  side  iv  it,  an'  ye  ha-ave  more 
chanst  f'r  to  conthrol  th'  vote.  But  't  is  not 

185 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 

f'r  me  wan  wa-ay  or  th'  other.  'T  w'u'd  be 
har-rd  f'r  me  to  br-reak  mesilf  iv  th'  habit  iv 
wor-rkin'  f'r  me  livin',  an'  thin  I  can't  f'rget 
Clancy.  Do  ye  ray-mimber  Clancy  ?  Oho  ! 
he  was  a  fine  lad  if  he  'd  only  been  imperv-yus 
to  th'  contagion.  He  was  a  hard-wor-rkin' 
ma-an,  an'  he  br-rought  his  sal'ry  home  to  th' 
good  woman  iv'ry  Saturday  night  till  he  begun 
thryin'  f'r  office.  Thin  he  had  to  be  a  good 
felly,  an'  th'  money  wint  over  th'  ba-ar.  *  Me 
eliction  ixpinses  is  eatin'  up  me  sal'ry,'  he  told 
his  wife,  '  but  't  will  be  all  r-right  whin  th' 
votes  is  counted.'  But 't  was  not.  A  felly  that 
kep'  a  say-loon  beat  him  out,  an'  he  had  a 
har-rd  time  shtandin'  off  th'  grocer  till  he  c'u'd 
r-raise  a  bit  iv  th'  ca-ash.  Thin  th'  pa-arty  give 
him  a  job  f'r  th'  wor-rk  he  'd  done  in  th'  cam 
paign,  an'  't  was  all  up  with  him.  He  c'u'd  n't 
br-reak  himsilf  if  th'  bad  habit  he  'd  conthracted, 
an'  he  's  r-run  f'r  some  office  in  iv'ry  eliction 
since.  He  dhraws  sal'ry  whin  th'  fellies  he 
knows  is  on  top,  an'  whin  they  're  not,  he  gets 
a  bit  be  kitin'  r-round  th'  war-rd  an'  keepin' 
th'  min  in  line  f'r  th'  nixt  eliction.  Oho  !  he 
has  it  ba-ad,  f'r  sure,  an'  't  is  th'  same  with 
most  iv  th'  r-rest  iv  thim  that  gets  sta-arted  that 

186 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


wa-ay.  I  tell  ye,  th'  felly  that  gets  into  politics 
gin'rally  belongs  in  a  feeble-minded  inshtitute 
or  ilse  in  a  sanitaryum.  He  's  th'  victim  iv  a 
microbe  that  takes  hold  iv  th'  shtrongest  consti 
tution  an'  ha-angs  on  tighter  than  a  wa-alkin' 
diligate  to  a  la-abor  union  that  pa-ays  him  f 'r 
makin'  throuble.  'T  is  all  wr-rong  annyway. 
Did  ye  iver  hear  iv  Cincinnati  ?  " 

"In  Ohio?" 

"  Niver  a  bit.  I  mean  Cincinnati,  th'  ol' 
Roman." 

"  I  guess  you  're  thinking  of  the  late  Allen  G. 
Thurman,"  suggested  the  politician,  whose  his 
torical  knowledge  did  not  date  back  to  the  time 
of  Cincinnatus. 

"  'T  is  f 'r  you  to  guess  wanst  more,"  retorted 
Policeman  Flynn.  "  I  'm  thinkin'  iv  th'  ma-an 
me  gir-rl  Maggie  was  talkin'  about.  Whin  he 
was  elicted  prisidint  iv  Rome, — or  mebbe  't  was 
may'r — they  had  to  goto  his  far-rmf'r  to  let  him 
know,  an'  whin  they  got  there  he  was  plowin' 
in  a  field.  f  Tell  him,'  they  says  to  his  hired 
ma-an,  c  f'r  to  come  up  to  th'  house  an'  be 
ma-ade  prisidint.'  '  Tell  thim,'  says  Cincinnati, 
be  wa-ay  iv  reply,  *  f'r  to  br-ring  th'  office  out 
to  me.  I  ha-ave  no  time  f'r  to  go  chasin' 

187 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


afther  it.'  That  's  th'  kind  iv  a  ma-an  Cincin 
nati  was.  No  settin'  thim  up  f'r  th'  byes  f'r 
him,  no  hangin'  on  th'  tiliphone-wires,  no  log- 
rollin'  and  thrickery,  no  manipulatin'  convin- 
tions.  { If  ye  want  me  f'r  to  ha-ave  th'  goods,' 
says  he,  '  sind  them  to  me,  an'  I  '11  luk  thim 
over  an'  tell  ye  what  I  think  iv  thim  when  I 
ha-ave  time.' ' 

"  But  what 's  all  this  got  to  do  with  the  alder- 
manic  election  ? "  inquired  the  politician. 

"  'T  is  this  wa-ay,"  replied  Policeman  Flynn. 
"  I  'm  goin'  out  f'r  to  do  a  little  plowin' 
along  me  beat,  an'  whin  ye  ha-ave  any  political 
goods  f'r  me,  ye  can  bring  thim  to  me  there." 

"  You  '11  never  get  office  that  way  in  these 
days,"  asserted  the  politician. 

"  I  sup-pose  not,"  said  Policeman  Flynn. 

"  You  have  to  go  after  it,"  persisted  the  poli 
tician. 

"  R-right  ye  are,"  admitted  Policeman  Flynn  ; 
"  but  there  's  wan  thing  ye  '11  notice  about  ol' 
Cincinnati  that 's  missin'  in  th'  fellies  that  r-runs 
fr  office  now." 

«  What  's  that  ?  " 

"  Th'  politicians  iv  that  da-ay,"  said  Police 
man  Flynn,  slowly,  "  th'  practical  an'  profiss- 

188 


POLICEMAN     FLTNN 

ional  politicians,  had  no  chanst  Pr  to  assess  him 
f 'r  campaign  ixpinses  an'  lead  him  a  wild  an' 
excitin'  chase  Pr  two  or  three  months,  an'  thin 
ha-and  him  a  gold  brick  Pr  his  time  an'  his 
money." 


XVIII 
HE    QUELLS    A 

Rior 


CHAPrER  XVIII 


HE   QUELLS   A   RIOT 

"  "1 >LYNN,"  said  the  captain  to  the  police 
man  of  that  name,  "  I  'm  going  to 

-*-  give  you  the  c  cripple  beat '  and  see 
what  you  can  do  with  it." 

Policeman  Flynn  nodded  gravely.  He  knew 
the  cripple  beat  by  reputation,  and  he  realized 
that  to  be  assigned  to  it  was  a  compliment  to 
his  prowess.  It  lay  in  a  district  in  which  there 
were  two  rival  factions  of  rowdies,  who  had  noth 
ing  in  common  except  an  inborn  hatred  of  the 
police,  and  it  derived  its  name  from  the  fact  that 
more  policemen  had  been  temporarily  crippled 
on  it  than  on  any  other  one  beat  in  the  city. 
The  rowdies  clashed  at  frequent  intervals,  and, 
in  the  general  fight  that  invariably  ensued,  win 
dows  were  smashed  and  the  lives  of  all  in  the 
immediate  vicinity  were  put  in  jeopardy  by  the 

193 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 

flying  missiles.  Arrests  were  frequent,  and  the 
patrol-wagon  had  made  so  many  trips  to  that 
neighborhood  that  the  horses  just  naturally 
turned  in  that  direction  when  they  left  the  barn. 
If  a  single  policeman  endeavored  to  interfere 
when  a  battle  was  in  progress,  he  went  to  the 
hospital  in  an  ambulance  ;  if  a  squad  arrived 
on  the  scene,  the  warring  factions  scattered, 
and  the  fact  that  a  few  participants  might  be 
gathered  in  had  no  lasting  effect  on  existing 
conditions. 

"  I  'm  to  ha-ave  a  thrial  on  th'  cripple  beat," 
said  Policeman  Flynn  somewhat  dejectedly 
when  he  made  his  daily  report  to  his  wife. 

"  I  '11  lay  in  a  sup-ply  iv  arniky  an'  shplints 
an'  pla-asters  this  very  da-ay,"  was  her  far  from 
consoling  reply.  "  Bad  luck  to  thim,  why  do 
they  put  a  little  felly  like  you  to  doin'  a  big 
ma-an's  work  ?  " 

"  F'r  because,"  answered  Policeman  Flynn, 
with  some  pride,  "  pluck  an'  raysoorce  is  not 
decided  be  a  fut-rule  or  a  pair  iv  shcales.  Th' 
capt'in  says  to  me,  he  says,  ( I  Ve  thried  th'  big 
min  an'  they  Ve  not  been  akel  to  th'  job,  an' 
't  is  nicissary  f'r  to  take  th'  sta-arch  out  iv  thim 
ri'tous  fellies  some  wa-ay.'  So  't  is  f'r  me  to 

194 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 

take  th'  sta-arch  out  iv  thim,  but  I  wisht  he  'd 
tol'  me  how  to  do  it." 

"  There  's  only  wan  wa-ay  I  know,"  said 
Mrs.  Flynn. 

"  'T  is  astonishin'  to  me  ye  have  n't  tin  iv 
thim,"  returned  Policeman  Flynn,  sarcastically. 

"  Give  me  ye-er  collar,"  commanded  Mrs. 
Flynn  by  way  of  reply. 

The  policeman  looked  surprised,  but  he  took 
off  his  nicely  starched  collar  and  handed  it  to 
her.  She  promptly  dipped  it  in  a  basin  of 
water  and  then  held  it  up  for  his  inspection. 

"  'T  is  done,"  she  announced. 

Policeman  Flynn  scratched  his  head  and  de 
parted  in  a  thoughtful  mood.  "  She  has  a 
gr-reat  head  on  her,  Pr  sure,"  he  soliloquized. 
"  If  I  iver  r-run  short  iv  ca-ash  I  '11  rint  her  out 
to  a  com-ity  iv  wa-ays  an'  means." 

The  first  few  days  passed  uneventfully  on  his 
new  beat.  The  clash  that  had  resulted  in  tem 
porarily  incapacitating  his  predecessor  for  work 
had  been  followed  by  the  arrest  of  some  of  the 
rowdies,  and  the  others  were  disposed  to  be 
quiet.  Policeman  Flynn  put  in  the  time  mak 
ing  a  study  of  the  situation.  He  knew  that 
they  were  watching  him,  and,  like  a  good  gen- 

'95 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 

eral,  he  desired  to  familiarize  himself  thoroughly 
with  the  locality  in  which  his  battle  or  battles 
were  to  be  fought.  It  was  perhaps  a  week  after 
he  had  begun  patrolling  the  beat  that  the  first 
conflict  came,  and  he  announced  the  result  when 
he  reached  home  by  the  simple  statement,  "  'T  is 
done." 

"  What  's  done  ? "  asked  Mrs.  Flynn. 

"  Me  fir-rst  job,"  replied  Policeman  Flynn. 
"Ye  see,  't  was  this  wa-ay,"  he  went  on.  "Th' 
la-ads  have  been  sizin'  me  up  an'  waitin'. 
They  's  no  fightin'  whin  a  new  po-lisman  shows 
up  till  they  ha-ave  a  thry  at  him,  an'  they  tuk 
a  chanst  at  me  this  da-ay.  Oho  !  't  was  a  big 
felly  that  sta-arted  it  all  be  ta-alkin'  har-rd  to 
me.  c  D'  ye  think  ye  '11  r-run  this  beat  ? ' 
he  says.  £  I  '11  thry,'  says  I.  *  Ye  ha-ave  ye-er 
wor-rk  cut  out  f'r  ye,'  he  says,  *  ye  little  bit  iv 
a  sawed-off  match.'  c  If  ye  touch  th'  match,' 
I  says  to  him,  'ye  '11  find  ye  ha-ave  hold  iv  the 
sulphur  ind.'  *  Shall  I  ha-and  him  wan?'  he 
says  to  th'  others.  t  Sure,'  says  they  to  him, 
but  't  was  too  late.  While  we  was  ta-alkin'  I  'd 
wor-rked  him  r-round  till  I  had  his  ba-ack  to 
th'  horse-trough  in  front  iv  th'  say-loon  where 
they  'd  shtopped  me." 

196 


"  Patrolman  Flynn  was  found  standing  like  a 
conquering  hero.'"' 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 

"  An'  what  did  ye  do  thin  ? "  asked  Mrs. 
Flynn. 

"  With  wan  push,"  answered  Policeman 
Flynn,  "  I  tuk  th'  sta-arch  out  iv  him." 

"  They  '11  murder  ye  f 'r  that,"  said  Mrs. 
Flynn.  "  Bad  luck  to  thim  all,  I  wisht  ye  'd 
niver  been  put  on  th'  beat." 

However,  by  keeping  his  eyes  open  Flynn 
was  able  to  guard  against  any  sudden  attack,  and 
they  showed  no  disposition  to  go  at  him  openly. 

"  But  you  'd  better  watch  out  for  them  when 
the  two  gangs  have  their  next  scrimmage,"  cau 
tioned  the  sergeant.  "  If  they  can  get  a  police 
man  in  it  they  '11  quit  fighting  each  other  to  do 
him  up.  Just  remember  to  call  the  wagon  the 
first  thing." 

"  If  I  ha-ave  time,"  answered  Policeman 
Flynn,  carelessly.  "  'T  is  not  f 'r  spoort  that 
I  Ve  been  shtudyin'  th'  lay  iv  th'  la-and  an' 
makin'  fri'nds  iv  th'  la-ads  in  th'  injine-house." 

"  What  do  you  intend  to  do  ? "  asked  the 
sergeant. 

"  L'ave  that  to  me,"  replied  Policeman  Flynn. 

The  real  conflict  came  two  days  later,  and  it 
was  not  Policeman  Flynn  who  sent  in  the  call 
for  the  patrol  wagon.  He  was  too  busy. 

199 


POLICEMAN      F  L  T  N  N 

Something  had  happened  to  rouse  one  of  the 
factions  to  action,  and  it  started  out  in  search  of 
the  other,  while  Policeman  Flynn  hastily  made 
preparations  in  a  side  street  that  the  mob  would 
have  to  pass,  but  where  he  was  concealed  from 
view  as  it  approached.  Others  had  leisure  to 
call  the  wagon,  however,  and  it  came  on  the 
run. 

Policeman  Flynn  was  found  standing  like  a 
conquering  hero,  leaning  on  the  big  nozzle  to  a 
lead  of  hose  that  he  had  borrowed  from  his 
friends  in  the  engine-house  on  the  corner,  but 
otherwise  the  street  was  almost  deserted. 

"  What  's  the  trouble  ?  "  asked  the  driver,  as 
he  pulled  his  horses  up. 

"  What  stra-ange  idees  ye  get !  "  returned 
Policeman  Flynn.  "  I  've  had  no  throuble  at 
all.  There  was  a  few  la-ads  come  down  th'  shtreet 
a  bit  ago  lukkin'  f 'r  throuble,  but  they  've  gone 
awa-ay." 

"  Where  are  they  ?  "  was  the  next  question. 

"  I  dunno  f 'r  sure,"  answered  Policeman 
Flynn,  "  but  't  is  me  imprission  they  Ve  been 
hung  out  on  th'  line  f 'r  to  dhry  so  's  they  can 
be  sta-arched  up  ag'in  !  " 


XIX 

HE    PUNISHES 
THE    DUDES 


CHAPTER  XIX 

HE   PUNISHES  THE    DUDES 

,  thim  judes  !  "  sighed    Policeman 
Barney  Flynn  with  the  air  of  one 
utterly     discouraged.      "  They     '11 
drive  me  cra-azy,  they  will  sure." 

"  If  ye  're  a  ma-an,"  replied  Mrs.  Flynn, 
"  ye  '11  not  let  anny  jude  that  iver  wa-alked 
come  over  ye.  'T  is  you  that  's  lackin'  in- 
jinoo-ity,  or  ye  'd  not  be  sittin'  there  sighin' 
like  a  bla-ast  at  th'  r-rollin'  mill.  Tell  me, 
now,  where  ha-ave  ye  been  ferninst  th' judes?  " 

"At  th'  the-ayter,"  answered  Policeman 
Flynn.  "  'T  is  on  me  beat,  an'  thim  pa-aper 
see-gar  judes  is  in  th'  alley  ivery  night  thicker 
than  flies  r-round  Hogan's  ba-ar." 

"  Is  there  anny  ha-arm  in  thim  ? "  demanded 
Mrs.  Flynn. 

"  In  thim  fellies  ?     Ha-arm  !  "  exclaimed  Po- 
203 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 

liceman  Flynn  scornfully.  "  Niver  a  bit,  but 
't  is  a  nuisance  they  are  to  th'  ha-ard-wor-rkin' 
gir-rls  that  carries  th'  shpears  an'  th'  banners  in 
th'  show,  an'  I  'm  afther  bein'  asked  to  drive 
thim  awa-ay." 

"  Why  don't  ye  ?  " 

"Why  don't  I?  Oho!  't  is  easy  said!" 
cried  Policeman  Flynn.  "  Why  don't  I  ?  Faith 
I  do.  'T  is  me  goes  down  th'  alley  no  liss 
than  tin  times  a  night  an'  shoos  thim  all  out. 
*  Shoo  ! '  says  I  to  thim,  like  they  was  chickens, 
an'  I  follies  thim  out,  but  not  a  wan  is  there 
within  shquint  iv  me  eye  whin  I  r-reaches  th' 
shtreet.  'T  is  a  ma-arvel  to  me,  no  liss,  how 
't  is  done,  but  ivery  wan  iv  thim  is  back  in  th' 
alley  be  th'  time  I  'm  out  iv  it." 

"  Is  there  anny  place  that  has  a  ba-ack  door 
on  th'  alley  ?  "  asked  Mrs.  Flynn. 

Policeman  Flynn  straightened  up  in  his  chair 
so  suddenly  that  he  dropped  his  pipe  on  the 
floor. 

"  Oho  !  't  is  a  sma-art  woman  ye  are  ! "  he 
exclaimed  admiringly.  "  Is  there  anny  place 
openin'  on  th'  alley  ?  Sure,  there  is  that. 
'T  is  all  plain  as  th'  nose  on  a  Hebrew  ma-an's 
fa-ace.  In  at  th'  front  dooriv  Casey's  say-loon 

204 


POLICEMAN      F  L  T  N  N 


they  goes  an'  out  iv  th'  back  door  ferninst  th' 
theayter.  Oho  !  I  ha-ave  thim  now  !  " 

"  What  '11  ye  do  ?  "  inquired  Mrs.  Flynn. 

"  I  '11  drive  them  th'  other  wa-ay  out,"  an 
swered  the  policeman. 

Mrs.  Flynn  regarded  him  for  a  moment  with 
pitying  contempt.  Ordinarily  resourceful,  there 
are  times  when  Patrolman  Flynn  has  to  be 
prompted  as  well  as  sarcastically  criticized  in 
order  that  the  best  results  may  be  secured. 

"  Barney,"  she  said  at  last,  "  ye  ha-ave  no 
head  on  ye  at  all.  'T  is  a  block  iv  wood  ye  're 
carryin'  on  ye-er  shoulders,  an'  ye  might  dhrop 
it  off  without  losin'  anything  but  a  bit  iv  kind 
ling.  'T  is  f  'r  you  to  ca-atch  thim  judes  an' 
ye  '11  not  do  it  that  wa-ay." 

"  No-o,"  admitted  Policeman  Flynn,  reluc 
tantly,  "  ye  're  r-right  there.  I  'm  no  ma-atch 
f 'r  thim  at  shprintin'." 

"  If  I  was  a  ma-an,"  went  on  Mrs.  Flynn, 
"  I  'd  ca-atch  thim.  'T  is  th'  only  wa-ay. 
R-run  thim  into  a  thrap  an'  ma-ake  thim  sorry 
they  iverthroubled  ye." 

"  Iv  coorse,"  said  Policeman  Flynn,  and  he 
was  very  thoughtful  as  he  left  home.  He 
wanted  to  ask  for  details,  but  he  deemed  it  wise 
205 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 

not  to  do  so.  Mrs.  Flynn  is  exceptionally 
sarcastic  when  she  gets  the  idea  that  she  is 
doing  the  thinking  for  the  family,  which  has  a 
tendency  to  induce  the  patrolman  to  solve 
problems  in  his  own  original  way.  However, 
there  was  the  light  of  victory  in  his  eyes  when 
he  went  on  duty  that  night,  and  almost  the  first 
thing  he  did  was  to  interview  Casey. 

"  'T  is  mesilf,"  said  Casey,  "  that  's  been 
wondherin'  why  th'  la-ads  come  trapsin'  in  th' 
wan  door  an'  thin  go  pilin'  out  th'  other. 
There  's  no  money  in  it  f'r  me,  an'  they  '11  not 
get  through  this  night." 

Matters  being  thus  satisfactorily  arranged, 
Policeman  Flynn  bided  his  time.  Never  be 
fore  had  he  left  the  dudes  who  congregated 
about  the  stage  entrance  so  entirely  alone,  for 
he  desired  to  gather  them  all  in  at  one  swoop. 
They  were  harmless  fellows  of  the  class  who 
like  to  hover  about,  making  eyes  at  the  chorus 
girls  and  pretending  to  have  a  standing  with  them 
that  they  do  not  possess ;  but,  as  Policeman 
Flynn  had  said,  they  were  nuisances — although 

of  a  kind  numerous  in  every  large  city and  in 

this  instance  the  stage  entrance  was  so  arranged 
that  it  was  difficult  to  keep  it  clear  of  them. 

ao6 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 

Finally,  when  the  assembled  crowd  was  large 
enough  to  suit  him,  the  patrolman  made  his 
sally.  Out  of  the  alley  went  the  youths  and  in 
at  the  front  door  of  Casey's  saloon,  with  the 
officer  in  close  pursuit.  This  time  he  knew 
where  to  go  when  he  emerged  on  the  street,  and 
he  found  in  Casey's  back  room  as  panic- 
stricken  a  crowd  as  one  often  sees,  for  the  alley 
door  was  locked  and  exit  that  way  was  impossible. 

"  Oho  !  "  cried  Policeman  Flynn  triumph 
antly,  "  I  ha-ave  ye  now  f'r  sure  !  Shtand  in  a 
r-row  there  an'  let  's  see  what  ye  luk  like  ! " 
One  or  two  of  them  were  inclined  to  rebel,  but 
they  thought  better  of  it  when  Policeman  Flynn 
made  a  movement  in  their  direction,  and  all 
lined  up  against  the  wall.  "  'T  is  a  fine-lukkin' 
cr-rowd  ye  are,  hangin'  r-round  here  an'  hopin' 
ye  '11  ha-ave  a  chanst  f'r  to  buy  pussy  caffies 
an'  fizz  wather  f'r  gir-rls  that  only  wa-ants  ye 
to  1'ave  thim  alone.  What  '11  I  do  with  ye  ?  " 
Policeman  Flynn  looked  them  over  contempt 
uously.  "  'T  w'u'd  contam'nate  th'  cells  at  th' 
station  f'r  to  put  ye  in  thim,  but  I  '11  fix  ye 
some  wa-ay,  ye  pa-aper  see-gar  loafers  !  I  '11 
ma-ake  ye  sorry  ye  iver  r-ran  ferninst  Barney 
Flynn  an'  kep'  him  chasin'  ye  up  an'  down  th' 

207 


POLICEMAN      F  L  T  N  N 

alley.  I  '11— I  '11— Now,  what  '11  I  do?" 
Then,  just  as  he  seemed  at  his  wit's  end  for  a 
suitable  punishment,  an  inspiration  came  to  him. 
"  Ha-and  over  ye-er  pa-per  see-gars  !  "  he  cried 
triumphantly.  "  Ivery  wan  ha-and  thim  over ! 
Not  a  pa-aper  see-gar  goes  out  iv  th'  r-room 
this  night,  an'  if  annywan  thries  f 'r  to  hold  out 
on  me  I  '11  la-and  him  behind  th'  ba-ars,  I  will 
so.  Oho  !  't  is  long  ye  '11  ray-mimber  Barney 
Flynn  !  Hurry  on,  now,  an'  if  I  think  ye  're 
holdin'  out  I  '11  go  through  ye-er  clo'es." 

It  was  a  great  picture  that  Policeman  Flynn 
made  collecting  the  cigarettes,  but  he  got  them 
all,  and  fifteen  minutes  later  he  was  alone  with 
Casey,  counting  the  results  of  the  raid. 

"  Twinty-sivin  boxes ! "  he  exclaimed. 
"  W'u'd  ye  think  there  was  that  much  deprav 
ity  in  th'  whole  city,  if  ye  did  n't  see  it  with 
ye-er  own  eyes  ?  Twinty-sivin  boxes,  an'  they  're 
all  yours,  Casey.  Me  job  on  th'  foorce  w'u'd  be 
gone  if  they  was  found  on  me  at  r-roll-call." 

"  What  '11  I  do  with  thim  ?  "  asked  Casey. 

"  Divil  a  bit  do  I  care,"  answered  Policeman 
Flynn,  "  only  I  say  this  to  ye  :  If  ye  1'ave  thim 
where  th'  cat  can  get  thim,  I  '11  ha-ave  ye  ar- 
risted  f'r  croolty  to  animals,  I  will  that." 


XX 

PREACHING  AND 
PRACTICE 


CHAPTER    XX 


PREACHING     AND    PRACTICE 

POLICEMAN  BARNEY  FLYNN  had 
just  settled  himself  for  a  quiet  and 
thoughtful  smoke  when  his  wife  in 
terrupted  his  meditations. 

"  Barney,"  she  said,  and  there  was  reproach 
in  her  tone,  "  have  n't  ye  f'rgot  something  ?" 

"  Ha-ave  I  ?  "  he  asked,  with  an  assumption 
of  ignorance,  for  he  well  knew  to  what  she  re 
ferred. 

"  Iv  coorse  ye  have,  ye  aggravatin'  ma-an," 
she  answered  with  asperity. 

"  M-m-m,  now,  what  can  it  be  ? "  muttered 
Policeman  Flynn,  thoughtfully  knitting  his 
brow. 

"  Did  n't  ye  dhraw  ye-er  sal'ry  to-day  ?  "  de 
manded  Mrs.  Flynn.  It  may  be  said  here  by 
way  of  explanation  that  Mrs.  Flynn  is  the 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


cashier  of  the  family,  and  always  has  pay-day 
marked  on  the  calendar  with  red  ink. 

"  Oho  !  't  is  th'  money  ye  're  afther  !  "  ex 
claimed  Policeman  Flynn.  "  Ye  're  like  all  th' 
r-rest  iv  th'  women.  If  ye-er  good  ma-an  do  be 
ha-avin'  a  bit  iv  th'  coin  in  his  clo'es  ye  're 
worried  till  ye  ha-ave  ye-er  ha-ands  on  it.  Ye 
wa-ant  to  be  shpendin'  iv  it  all  ye-ersilf.  Ye  're 
like  th'  confidince  ma-an,  ye  are  that.  '  Give 
me  ye-er  cash,'  says  you  to  me,  f  an'  I  '11  give 
ye  something  that  's  worth  more,'  f'r  all  the 
wor-rld  like  th'  ma-an  that  's  sellin'  th'  gold 
br-rick.  I  give  it  to  ye,  bein'  innocint  an'  un- 
suspectin',  an'  what  do  I  get  f'r  it  ?  I  ask  ye 
that,  Mary — what  do  I  get  f'r  it  ?  Why,  hash 
f'r  breakfast." 

This  impressed  Policeman  Flynn  as  being  so 
good  a  joke  that  he  laughed  over  it  himself, 
but  his  wife  replied,  rather  warmly,  that  if  he 
did  not  give  it  to  her  to  care  for  they  would  be 
begging  for  things  to  eat  within  a  week  after 
pay-day,  and  Policeman  Flynn  knew  that  this 
reflection  on  his  financial  management  was  just 
ified.  However,  he  was  in  a  facetious  mood, 
and  did  not  intend  to  surrender  his  temporary 
advantage  at  once. 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 

"  An'  what  '11  ye  do  with  it  if  ye  lay  ye-er 
ha-ands  on  it  ?  "  he  asked.  "Ye  tell  me  I  'm  no 
ma-an  Pr  to  be  handlin'  iv  money,  but  what  '11 
ye  be  afther  doin'  with  it  ye-ersilf  ?  Oho  !  I 
know  ye.  'T  is  like  as  not  ye  '11  be  shpendin' 
it  on  Mrs.  Flaherty  over  be  th'  mill." 

"  She  's  a  deser-rvin'  woman  !  "  asserted 
Mrs.  Flynn  with  an  emphasis  that  showed  her 
charity  in  that  direction  had  been  the  object  of 
criticism  before. 

"  'T  is  so,"  admitted  Policeman  Flynn,  "  but 
ye  can't  be  sup-portin'  ivery  fool  iv  a  deser-r 
vin'  woman  ye  come  acrost.  Ye  'd  go  br-roke 
an'  shtarve,  ye  w'u'd  that.  Ye  see,  Mary,  't  is 
this  wa-ay:  marri'ge  is  a  lotth'ry,  an'  —  " 

"  I  Ve  hear-rd  ye  sa-ay  that  befoor,"  inter 
rupted  Mrs.  Flynn. 

"  R-right,"  said  Policeman  Flynn,  "  but  't  is 
th'  thruth,  and  th'  thruth  niver  grows  old.  So 
I  tell  ye  wanst  more  marri'ge  is  a  loth'ry,  an' 
ye  can't  do  much  Pr  th'  gambler  that  loses 
iverything  an'  shtill  won't  dhraw  out  iv  th' 
ga-ame.  Mrs.  Flaherty  shticks  to  her  ma-an." 

u  He  's  a  brute  iv  a  ma-an,"  asserted  Mrs. 
Flynn. 

'T  is  so,"  assented  the  patrolman,  "  but 
213 


" 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


while  she  shticks  to  him  't  is  like  throwin'  wather 
into  a  sieve  f 'r  to  give  to  her.  He  's  th'  la-ad 
that  gets  th'  most  iv  it.  Ye  must  put  up  with 
manny  things  in  marri'd  life,  but  there  do  be  a 
limit,  an'  't  is  no  ixcuse  f 'r  kapin'  ba-ad  comp'ny 
that  ye  're  marri'd  to  th'  ma-an." 

"  Accordin'  to  that,"  said  Mrs.  Flynn,  with 
biting  sarcasm,  "  I  sh'u'd  1'ave  ye,  Barney." 

"  Th'  ma-an  sh'u'd  be  over  on  th'  Island," 
said  the  patrolman,  ignoring  this  thrust. 

"Ye  '11  not  1'ave  me  do  anny  thing  f 'r  her  ?  " 
said  Mrs.  Flynn,  inquiringly. 

"  I  will  not." 

"  Ye  're  a  ha-ard-hear-rted  ma-an,  Barney  !  " 

"  I  ha-ave  sinse,"  retorted  Policeman  Flynn. 

Now,  as  has  been  demonstrated  before,  Mrs. 
Flynn  has  a  mind  of  her  own,  and  she  is  not  a 
woman  with  whom  it  is  safe  to  be  dictatorial. 
In  consequence,  she  was  just  on  the  point  of 
issuing  a  declaration  of  independence,  with  inci 
dental  remarks  on  autonomy,  when  a  neighbor 
suddenly  put  his  head  in  the  door  and  called 
out,  "  You  're  wanted,  Flynn  !  "  Policeman 
Flynn  hastily  caught  up  his  helmet  and  de 
parted. 

As  they  hurried  along  it  was  explained  to  the 


"  «  They  V  tin  dollars  missin" ,'  j//^  announced^ 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


policeman  that  things  were  in  a  bad  way  at 
Flaherty's.  The  oldest  boy  had  hurt  himself, 
and  the  neighborhood  doctor  who  had  been 
called  in  wanted  him  sent  to  the  hospital.  It 
was  clearly  the  proper  thing  to  do,  but  Mrs. 
Flaherty  would  not  hear  of  it.  She  was  going 
to  have  her  boy  with  her  at  all  hazards. 

"  When  Bill  sees  how  things  are  now," 
she  said  pathetically  in  answer  to  Policeman 
Flynn's  arguments,  "  I  know  he  '11  be  good  to 
us.  He  used  to  be  a  good  man  before — be 
fore—  " 

"  I  know,"  broke  in  Policeman  Flynn. 
"  He  '11  be  good — maybe,"  and  then  he  added 
under  his  breath,  "  whin  he  's  in  his  gr-rave  or 
th'  po-lis  station.  I  know  him." 

But  the  woman  won  her  point.  Even  rea 
son  and  sense  must  give  way  before  the  assaults 
of  a  mother  pleading  for  her  child,  and  the  doc 
tor  eased  his  conscience  with  the  thought  that 
it  was  not  a  very  serious  case,  and  the  boy 
probably  would  come  out  all  right  anyway.  He 
knew  that  she  was  unwise,  but  love  and  wisdom 
do  not  often  go  hand  in  hand. 

"  But  she  must  have  assistance,"  he  said. 
"  There  is  practically  nothing  in  the  house,  and 

117 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 

she  has  no  money.  I  '11  report  the  case  to  the 
relief  authorities  at  once." 

Others  who  had  gathered  expressed  approval 
of  this  decision,  and  then  left,  feeling  that  the 
fact  that  the  matter  was  to  be  put  in  the  hands 
of  the  proper  officers  relieved  them  of  responsi 
bility.  But  Policeman  Flynh  was  not  satisfied. 
His  was  a  practical  mind,  and  he  wanted  to  do 
something. 

"  I'll  r-run  ye-er  ma-an  in  f'r  ye,  so  's  to  keep 
him  out  iv  th'  wa-ay,"  he  suggested  in  the  good 
ness  of  his  heart. 

"  If  you  do,"  she  returned,  "  I  '11  scratch 
your  eyes  out." 

"  Luk  at  that,  now  !  "  he  commented  to  him 
self,  as  he  finally  started  for  home.  "  She  do 
be  an  onthankful  woman,  an'  wan  without  sinse. 
Shesh'u'dbe  ma-ade  to  Pave  that  good-Pr-noth- 
in'  ma-an  an'  sind  th'  bye  to  th'  hospittle,  she 
sh'u'd  that.  Th'  only  wa-ay  with  thim  kind 
iv  people  is  to  be  firm  an'  ha-ard  ;  but,"  he 
added,  with  a  shake  of  his  head,  "  how  ca-an 
ye?" 

He  was  still  soliloquizing  in  this  strain  when 
he  reached  home  and  was  called  upon  to  tell  his 
wife  all  that  had  happened.  When  he  had  fin- 

2lg 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


ished    she  suddenly   asked,    "  Where  's    ye-er 
sal'ry,  Barney  ?  " 

He  passed  her  some  money,  which  she  care 
fully  counted. 

"  They  's  tin  dollars  missin',''  she  announced, 
but  Policeman  Flynn  was  apparently  deep  in  a 
reverie. 

"  That  fool  iv  a  woman,"  he  muttered  half  to 
himself. 

"  I  'm  not  ta-alkin*  iv  th'  woman,  but  th'  tin 
dollars,"  said  Mrs.  Flynn. 

"  'T  is  all  th'  sa-ame,"  returned  Policeman 
Flynn.  "  She  do  be  a  fool  'iv  a  woman,  Mary — 
I  '11  not  go  back  on  that,  not  wan  bit ;  but  " 
again  thoughtfully — "  we  like  thim  that  wa-ay, 
an'  ray-lief  officers  is  shlow.  Ye  Ve  no  idee, 
Mary,  how  shlow  thim  fellies — " 

"  Th'  tin  dollars,"  insisted  Mrs.  Flynn. 

"  I  lift  it  with  th'  fool  iv  a  woman,"  said 
Policeman  Flynn,  in  desperation.  "  G'wan, 
now,  an'  don't  be  ta-alkin'  to  me." 


XXI 

HE    GUARDS    A 
CROSSING 


CHAPTER   XXI 

HE      GUARDS     A     CROSSING 

HOW    Policeman    Barney    Flynn    hap 
pened  to  be  put  on  "  crossing  duty  " 
was  a  mystery  to  every  man  on  the 
force,  but  why  he  was  taken  off  was  well  known 
to  all  of  them.     The  "  crossing  men  "  are  usu 
ally  large  and  of  imposing  presence,  while  Flynn 
is  small  and  would  not  attract  the  attention  of 
any  one  who  did  not  know  of  his  prowess.   But 
he  was  given  the  work  nevertheless. 

"  'T  is  me  size,"  he  said  by  way  of  explana 
tion.  "  Th'  big  ma-an  is  a  fine  thing  on 
para-ade,  but  f'r  wor-rk  give  me  th'  little  felly 
ivery  time.  Th'  big  ma-an  can  hold  up  his 
shtick  an'  get  ga-ay  with  th'  dhrivers,  but  't  is 
th'  little  felly  that  dodges  in  an'  pulls  th'  lost 
childher  out  of  har-rm's  wa-ay.  Ye  '11  always 
find  it  so.  Did  ye  niver  hear  that  th'  most 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


val'able  goods  comes  in  th'  shmallest  packages  ? 
'T  is  a  fac'.  What  ye  get  at  th'  ninety-nine 
cint  bay-zaar  has  to  go  home  in  a  dhray,  an' 
what  is  ray-presinted  be  th'  five  hunderd  dollars 
ye  spind  in  a  jew-lry-shtore  ye  can  carry  awa-ay 
in  ye-er  vist  pocket." 

Whatever  of  truth  there  may  be  in  his  asser 
tion,  the  fact  remains  that  he  was  put  on  cross 
ing  duty,  and  he  went  about  his  work  with  the 
same  energy  that  characterized  him  in  all  that 
he  had  previously  undertaken.  He  was  the 
supreme  ruler  of  that  crossing,  and  he  did  not 
intend  to  have  any  mistake  about  it.  He  was 
exceptionally  jealous  of  his  authority,  because 
his  size  tended  to  induce  some  of  the  more 
thoughtless  of  the  drivers  to  treat  him  with 
condescension,  if  not  with  contempt,  and  noth 
ing  is  so  galling  as  that. 

"  Th'  guardeen  iv  th'  la-aw,"  he  said  to  a 
burly  driver  one  day,  "  sh'u'd  be  threated  with 
ray-spict." 

"  Don't  get  foolish,  little  man,"  returned  the 
driver,  patronizingly,  at  the  same  time  showing 
a  disposition  to  ignore  the  policeman's  uplifted 
club. 

"  Oho  !  ye  'd  get  ga-ay  with  me,  w'u'd  ye  ?  " 

424 


He  fwas  the  supreme  ruler  of  that  crossing. 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


cried  Policeman  Flynn.  "  Come  down  out  iv 
that  high-chair  seat !  " 

The  driver  only  laughed,  whereupon  Flynn, 
by  a  quick  movement,  caught  hold  of  the  reins 
and  jerked  them  out  of  the  driver's  hands. 

"  Now  will  ye  be  good,"  he  asked,  "  or  will 
ye  dhrive  me  over  to  th'  station  ?  " 

The  driver  realized  that  he  was  at  the  police 
man's  mercy,  and  surlily  promised  to  show  all 
proper  respect  in  the  future. 

"  'T  is  not  me  own  dignity,  but  me  po-lis 
dignity  I  'm  upholding"  Flynn  explained  af 
terward.  "  Ye  ca-an't  r-rule  at  a  crossin'  onliss 
ye  insist  upon  r-rulin',  an'  't  is  th'  injane-yus 
ma-an  that  's  th'  boss  iv  things." 

Policeman  Flynn  certainly  was  ingenious,  and 
he  held  the  drivers  who  regularly  passed  his 
corner  in  subjection  by  his  reputation  for  re 
sourcefulness  and  the  uncertainty  as  to  what  he 
would  do  next.  When  he  finally  humbled  the 
contractor  who  was  always  in  a  hurry,  and  cut 
in  and  out  of  the  line  of  teams  in  a  most  haz 
ardous  way,  his  authority  never  again  was 
questioned.  Another  policeman  would  have 
caught  the  horse  by  the  bridle  some  day,  thrown 
him  back  on  his  haunches,  and  cursed  or  ar- 


227 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 

rested  the  driver  ;  but  Policeman  Flynn  never 
does  things  as  others  would  do  them.  He 
bided  his  time,  and  finally,  when  the  contractor 
was  caught  in  a  pocket  and  had  to  draw  up, 
the  policeman  promptly  stuck  his  club  between 
the  spokes  of  his  buggy-wheel. 

"  I  wa-ant  Pr  to  ta-alk  to  ye,"  said  Policeman 
Flynn. 

"  Take  that  out  of  there  or  I  '11  break  it !  " 
exclaimed  the  contractor. 

"  Ye  '11  br-reak  th'  shpoke  iv  ye-er  wheel  if 
ye-erhor-rse  moves,"  retorted  Policeman  Flynn. 
"  An'  I  wa-ant  f'r  to  give  ye  warnin'  that  th' 
nixt  time  ye  go  scootin'  over  th'  crossin'  I  may 
damage  me  club,  but  ye-er  buggy  '11  go  to  the 
ray-pair-shop.  Now  g'wan  an'  don't  be  block- 
in'  up  th'  r-road." 

That  settled  the  contractor,  and  thereafter 
Policeman  Flynn  was  the  autocrat  of  his  cross 
ing.  But  he  had  other  troubles,  and  his  meth 
ods  were  not  always  those  that  would  be  ap 
proved  at  headquarters.  The  advice  that  he 
gave  on  various  occasions,  while  undoubtedly 
good,  was  too  sharp  and  pointed.  A  man  from 
the  country  secured  his  attention  one  day  and 
told  him  he  had  been  asked  to  cash  a  check  for 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 

a  stranger  who  had  to  catch  a  train  to  go  to  a 
sick  wife. 

"  'T  was  th'  ol'  gag  iv  the  confidince  ma-an," 
said  Policeman  Flynn  in  telling  about  it,  "  but 
th'  felly  from  th'  counthry  was  sorry  f'r  him, 
an'  he  says  to  me,  bein'  in  a  bit  iv  doubt  from 
all  he  'd  hear-rd  iv  city  wa-ays,  c  If  you  was 
me,'  he  says,  '  what  w'u'd  ye  do  ? '  An'  I  says 
to  him,  f  If  I  was  you,'  I  says,  f  I  'd  ha-ave  a 
guardeen  app'inted  an'  thin  hire  a  guide.'  An' 
he  wint  awa-ay  ma-ad. 

"  But  't  is  th'  women  gives  me  th'  most 
throuble.  Oho  !  th'  women  !  Nine  out  iv 
ivery  tin  iv  thim  is  lackin'  ner-rve  or  ilse  sinse. 
Wan  iv  thim  shteps  out  a  fut  or  two  an'  thin 
r-runs  back.  Thin  she  thries  it  wanst  more, 
an'  't  is  up  to  me  f'r  to  iscoort  her  acrost.  Th' 
nixt  wan  ducks  her  head  an'  goes  like  a  chicken 
crossin'  a  r-road.  I  caught  wan  iv  that  kind 
yisterda-ay  whin  she  was  r-runnin'  r-right  un 
der  a  pair  iv  prancin'  hor-rses.  '  D'  ye  think 
ye  're  a  bir-rd  ? '  says  I,  ( that  ye  can  shpread 
ye-er  wings  an'  ma-ake  a  shtraight  line  ? '  An' 
instid  iv  thankin'  me  she  wint  awa-ay  ma-ad, 
too." 

Of  course,  in  time  the  fame  of  Policeman 
2*9 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


Flynn's  methods  and  comments  reached  head 
quarters,  owing  to  some  complaints  that  were 
made,  and  he  was  given  a  quiet  reprimand. 
"  Above  all  things  you  must  be  courteous,"  he 
was  told,  and,  with  his  customary  desire  to 
master  completely  anything  that  he  undertook, 
he  went  out  to  buy  a  book  on  etiquette.  This 
was  his  undoing,  for  it  is  indeed  a  wise  man 
who  knows  how  to  utilize  the  information  in 
such  a  volume.  He  followed  the  instructions 
implicitly,  and  many  a  woman  wondered  at  the 
elaborateness  of  his  bow  and  the  tactful  nature 
of  his  reply  when  he  was  asked  to  do  some  ab 
surd  thing  entirely  out  of  the  line  of  his  duty; 
for  women  are  occasionally  unreasonable  in  their 
requests  of  the  guardians  of  the  law.  He  even 
kept  his  temper  and  acted  with  creditable  dis 
cretion  when  he  was  asked  to  run  back  a  block 
or  two  and  see  if  he  could  find  the  lap-dog  a 
woman  had  dropped  out  of  her  victoria.  But 
the  etiquette  book  was  responsible  for  his  Wa 
terloo,  nevertheless,  and  the  night  he  was  sent 
back  to  patrol  duty  he  threw  it  m  the  fire  be 
fore  even  explaining  the  matter  to  his  wife. 

"  'T  was  all  along  iv  thryin*  to  be  po-lite  an' 
tac'ful,"  he  finally  explained.     "  What 's  po-lite 
230 


POLICEMAN      F  L  T  N  N 

an'  complimint'ry  to  an  akel  is  praysum'tion  to 
a  soopeer-yer.  Ye  see,  't  was  this  wa-ay  :  a 
gir-rl — oh,  a  fine-lukin'  gir-rl  iv  nineteen  or 
twinty — got  mixed  up  bechune  two  teams,  an' 
was  like  to  be  r-run  down  whin  I  saw  her. 
'T  was  no  time  to  think  iv  th'  wa-ay  to  get  her 
out.  Anny  wa-ay  at  all  was  a  good  wa-ay,  an' 
I  gr-rabbed  her  r-round  th'  waist  an'  carried  her 
to  wan  side.  '  Oh,  sir,'  she  says  whin  she  got 
her  breath  back,  '  how  can  I  iver  tha-ank  ye  ? ' 
1  Ma'am,'  says  I,  liftin'  me  helmet  an'  thinkin' 
iv  th'  book  on  manners,  f  th'  pleasure,'  I  says, 
*  is  all  mine.'  '  Sir,'  she  says,  givin'  me  a  hity- 
tity  luk  an'  shpeakin'  cold,  4  I  will  see  that  ye 
are  ray-warded.'  l  Ma'am,'  says  I,  t  th'  mim'ry 
iv  th'  ray-ward  I  've  already  had  will  go  with 
me  to  me  gra-ave.' ' 

"What  ray-ward  had  ye  had,  Barney?"  in 
quired  Mrs.  Flynn. 

"  She    asked   me  th'  sa-ame  quistion,"  said 
Policeman  Flynn. 

"An  what  did  ye  sa-ay  to  her  ?  " 

"  I  says  to  her,  c  Ma-am,'  I  says,  bowin'  low 

like  th'  pictures  in  th'  etikit  book,  '  't  is  wor-rth 

more  than    th'  r-risk  I  r-run,'  I  says,  (  f'r  to 

have  had  sich  a  beautiful  bundle  in  me  ar-rms.' ' 

231 


XXII 

HE    TRIES   A    BIT    OF 
STRATEGT 


CHAPTER    XXII 

HE  TRIES  A    BIT   OF   STRATEGY 

WHEN  Policeman  Barney  Flynn  ap 
proached  the  door  of  the  modest  lit 
tle  house  he  knew  that  he  had  one  of 
the  hardest  jobs  of  his  life  ahead  of  him.  The 
Captain  wished  to  see  Mrs.  Miller.  His  reasons 
for  this  desire  were  not  known  to  Policeman 
Flynn,  and  equally  unknown  were  his  reasons 
for  not  going  in  person  to  her  house  instead  of 
sending  for  her.  Many  are  the  strange  things 
that  happen  in  a  police  station,  and  many  are 
the  strange  motives  that  lie  behind  the  strange 
actions.  It  might  be  a  matter  of  pride  in  this 
instance  or  it  might  be  a  matter  of  judgment. 
There  is  sometimes  an  advantage  not  to  be  de 
spised  in  being  able  to  select  the  place  for  an 
interview  ;  the  surroundings  count  for  much, 
and  the  one  unfamiliar  with  them  is  handicapped. 
235 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


So  the  Captain,  presumably  desiring  to  get  cer 
tain  information  supposed  to  be  in  the  posses 
sion  of  this  woman,  had  sent  for  her — and  she 
had  refused  to  come.  This  in  itself  was  sur 
prising,  for  it  is  not  customary  to  send  regrets 
under  such  circumstances.  For  a  moment  the 
Captain  seemed  on  the  point  of  going  to  the 
house  himself,  but  he  thought  better  of  it,  and 
sent  a  more  imperative  message.  The  reply 
was  the  same  as  before  :  She  had  done  nothing 
that  put  her  at  the  beck  and  call  of  the  police, 
she  did  n't  care  to  see  the  Captain,  and  she 
would  not  come.  Then  he  had  sent  for 
Flynn. 

"  I  want  to  see  that  woman,  and  I  want  to 
see  her  here,"  he  said.  "  Never  mind  why. 
I  have  a  few  things  here  that  I  think  will  make 
the  interview  more  effective  here  than  it  would 
be  there.  If  she  knows  what  I  think  she 
knows  I  intend  to  get  it  out  of  her,  but — well, 
all  you  Ve  got  to  do  is  to  get  her  to  come  with 
you." 

"  M-m-m,  now,  is  that  all  ? "  asked  Police 
man  Flynn,  who  had  heard  of  the  fruitless 
efforts  of  two  others  in  that  direction. 

"  That  's  all,"  said  the  Captain. 
236 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


"  She  ray-fuses  to  come,  an'  all  I  ha-ave  f 'r 
to  do  is  to  make  her  cha-ange  her  mind  ? " 

"  That  's  it  exactly." 

"  Are  ye  a  married  ma-an,  Capt'in  ? " 

"  Of  course  I  am." 

"  I  niver  w'u'd  ha-ave  thought  it,"  com 
mented  Policeman  Flynn,  whereupon  the  Cap 
tain  laughed. 

"  You  're  such  an  ingenious  and  resourceful 
fellow,  Flynn,"  he  said,  "  that  I  believe  you  can 
do  it.  The  very  fact  that  she  refuses  to  come 
makes  me  more  confident  that  she  can  put  me 
on  the  track  of  certain  people  I  am  after,  but 
it  's  a  mighty  ticklish  affair  as  matters  are  now. 
I  have —  But  never  mind  that.  You  just  get 
her." 

"  Iv  coorse,"  returned  Policeman  Flynn,  as 
he  retired,  scratching  his  head  thoughtfully. 
"  'T  is  easy  said." 

This  is  all  that  Flynn  knew  when  he  rang  the 
door-bell,  but  he  had  been  doing  a  lot  of  think 
ing  on  his  way  from  the  station.  He  had  pre 
pared  a  nice  little  speech,  which  he  had  no 
chance  to  deliver. 

"  So  you  've  come  to  get  me,  have  you  ?  " 
she  exclaimed  the  moment  she  saw  his  uniform. 


POLICEMAN      F  L  T  N  N 


"  I  ha-ave,"  he  replied,  making  an  elaborate 
bow. 

"  Well,  I  '11  not  go  with  you,"  she  asserted. 

"  I  knew  ye  w'u'd  n't,"  returned  Policeman 
Flynn  promptly. 

"  Oh,  you  did!  "  retorted  the  woman  sarcas 
tically.  "  You  knew  it  !  Then  why  did  you 
come  ? " 

"  'T  is  a  bet,"  said  Policeman  Flynn  with 
unblushing  effrontery.  "  L'ave  me  in  an'  I  '11 
tell  ye  about  it.  Oho  !  't  is  a  shtrange  thing— 
ye  '11  shplit  ye-er  sides  laughin',  ye  will  so. 
Don't  ye  be  afraid  iv  me,"  he  went  on,  as  he 
gently  forced  his  way  into  the  house,  the 
woman  being  too  astonished  to  interpose  any 
objection.  "  I  don't  wa-ant  ye  ;  I  w'u'd  n't 
take  ye  annyhow,  f 'r  't  w'u'd  ma-ake  me  lose 
me  bet." 

The  woman  made  a  stand  in  the  hall,  and 
Policeman  Flynn  naturally  had  to  stop  there 
also,  but  he  was  satisfied.  He  merely  desired 
to  get  far  enough  in,  so  that  she  could  not  shut 
the  door  in  his  face. 

"  Well,  you  're  the  most  extraordinary  police 
man  that  I  ever  saw  !  "  she  exclaimed.  "  The 
idea  of  coming  here  to  settle  a  bet !  I  don't 

238 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 

believe  a  word  of  it.  You  Ve  come  to  get 
me." 

"  Iv  coorse  I  ha-ave,"  admitted  Policeman 
Flynn.  "  I  Ve  come  f 'r  to  get  ye,  but  not  ix- 
pectin'  to  get  ye.  D'  ye  see  th'  p'int  ?  *  She  '11 
not  come,'  says  I  whin  th'  Capt'in  tells  me  f 'r 
to  dhrop  up  here  an'  tell  ye  he  wants  to  see  ye. 
( Iv  coorse  she  won't,'  says  the  Capt'in,  '  but 
't  is  only  fair  to  thry  wanst  more.'  Ye  see,  th' 
Capt'in  an'  me  knows  women." 

"  Oh,  you  do,  do  you  ? "  was  the  sarcastic 
comment  of  the  woman. 

"  Iv  coorse  we  do,  none  betther,"  answered 
Policeman  Flynn.  "  Ivery  ma-an  knows  wo 
man  ;  't  is  only  women  that  does  n't.  So  we  got  to 
ta-alkin'  iv  it  in  th'  station,  an'  ivery  ma-an  there 
says  ye  won't  come.  c  'T  is  foolish,'  they  says, 
f  f 'r  to  sind  afther  her  ag'in  whin  there  's  fif 
teen  or  twinty  iv  us  here  that  knows  women 
like  a  book,  all  sayin*  that  she  won't  come.'  ' 

"  Well,  of  all  the  conceit !  "  broke  in  the 
woman  hotly.  "  Know  woman  like  a  book,  do 
you  ?  Why,  you  don't  know  anything  at  all 
about  her." 

"  Sure  we  do,"  said  Policeman  Flynn  confi 
dently. 

239 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 

"  The  absurdity  of  it !  "  exclaimed  the  wo 
man. 

"  Ye  're  not  comin',  are  ye  ?  "  demanded  Po 
liceman  Flynn. 

"  No,  I  'm  not." 

"  There  ye  ha-ave  th'  proof  iv  it,"  asserted 
Policeman  Flynn,  triumphantly.  "  'T  is  what 
we  said.  Oho  !  we  're  a  wise  lot  iv  la-ads." 

"  I  'm  not  afraid  to  come,"  insisted  the  wo 
man.  "  I  know  what  your  Captain  wants,  and 
it  does  n't  bother  me  a  bit,  only  I  don't  want 
to  come." 

"  Iv    coorse    not,"     acquiesced     Policeman 

Flynn,  "  but    ye   're   not  comin'.     I   knew   ye 

>   >  j     »^  » 
w  u  d  n  t. 

"  Then  why  did  you  come  for  me  ?  "  asked 
the  woman. 

"  Oho  !  I  did  n't  tell  ye  iv  it,  did  I  ?  "  re 
turned  Policeman  Flynn,  leaning  comfortably 
against  the  post  at  the  foot  of  the  stairs.  "  'T  was 
all  along  iv  me  wife.  At  th'  station  we  'd  give 
up  sindin'  f 'r  ye  ag'in,  an'  I  was  laughin'  at  th' 
idee  iv  annywan  thinkin'  ye  'd  come  whin  she 
up  an'  says,  '  Barney,'  she  says,  '  how  d'  ye 
know  she  '11  not  come  ? '  *  I  know  women,' 
says  I.  '  Ye  're  a  fool,'  says  she — " 
240 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


"  She  's  right,"  interrupted  the  woman. 

"  How  can  ye  say  that,"  demanded  Police 
man  Flynn,  "  whin  ye  're  provin'  she  's 
wr-rong  ?  " 

"  What  else  did  she  say  ?  "  asked  the  woman. 

"  'T  w'u'd  n't  inth'rist  ye,"  asserted  Police 
man  Flynn.  "  She  's  like  all  th'  r-rest  iv  th' 
women — she  thinks  she  knows — an'  she  r-roasts 
me  f 'r  thinkin'  I  know.  '  'T  is  like  a  ma-an,' 
she  says,  c  f 'r  to  think  he  knows  what  a 
woman  '11  do  an'  to  be  br-raggin'  iv  it.'  c  But 
I  'm  r-right,'  I  says.  '  Ye  're  not,'  says  she  ; f  If 
ye  're  po-lite  to  her  an'  act  th'  gintleman,'  she 
says,  *  she  '11  come.'  With  that  we  ha-ave  some 
wor-rds,  the  foolish  woman  thinkin'  she  knows 
th'  sex  betrher  than  me  that  's  married  to  a  fine 
sample  iv  it,  an'  in  th'  ind  she  lays  a  bet  iv  a 
new  shawl  ag'in  a  pair  iv  winther  gloves  that 
ye  '11  come  if  I  ta-alk  po-lite  to  ye  an'  don't 
thry  f'r  to  bluff  ye.  So  here  I  am,  an'  I  win." 

"  Oh,  you  do,  do  you  ?  "  retorted  the  woman. 

"  Iv  coorse  I  do,"  said  Policeman  Flynn.  "  I 
ha-ave  th'  gloves  all  picked  out.  Oho  !  't  is  a 
gr-reat  joke  I  ha-ave  on  her,  she  thinkin'  I 
did  n't  know  annything  iv  women.  'T  will  be 
a  lesson  f'r  her." 

241 


POLICEMAN      F  L  T  N  N 


The  woman  looked  at  the  policeman  search- 
ingly. 

"  I  don't  believe  you,"  she  said  at  last. 

"  'T  is  all  th'  sa-ame  to  me,"  returned  Po 
liceman  Flynn,  "  so  long  as  ye  don't  come  with 
me." 

"  I  believe  you  think  I  'm  afraid  to  face  the 
Captain  and  answer  his  questions." 

"  Niver,"  insisted  Policeman  Flynn.  "  'T  is 
only  th'  woman  nixt  door  thinks  that.  Ye  see,  I 
wint  there  be  mista-ake,"  he  went  on,  as  he  saw 
her  flush  angrily,  "  an'  whin  I  told  her  what  I 
was  afther  she  di-ricts  me  here,  an'  says,  '  But 
she  won't  go  with  ye,  though,  f 'r  she  's  afraid  iv 
the  po-lis.'  ' 

"  Did  she  say  that  ?  "  demanded  the  woman. 

"  She  seemed  to  know  ye,"  said  Policeman 
Flynn  blandly.  "  'T  is  a  shtrange  thing,  too, 
whin  ye  think  iv  wan  woman  knowin'  another. 
If  me  wife  had  as  much  sinse  she  'd  be  havin'  a 
new  shawl  instid  iv  buyin'  me  a  pair  iv  gloves 
with  fur  on  thim.  That  woman  nixt  door  do 
be  havin'  th'  sinse  iv  a  ma-an." 

"  Just  about  as  much,"  returned  the  woman. 
"  I  'm  afraid,  am  I  ?  And  I  'm  read  like  a 
book  by  a  lot  of  lazy  men  loafing  about  a  police 
242 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 

station,  am  I  ?  Well,  you  just  wait  here  a 
minute." 

"  Where  ye  goin'  ?  "  asked  Policeman  Flynn. 

"  I  'm  going  to  get  my  hat,"  was  the  answer. 
"  I  always  did  despise  that  woman  next  door 
anyway." 

"  'T  is  what  I  thought,"  chuckled  Police 
man  Flynn  to  himself.  u  Ye  're  always  safe  in 
figurin'  on  that  with  th'  woman  nixt  door." 

The  astonishment  of  the  men  on  reserve 
duty  at  the  station  when  Policeman  Flynn 
escorted  the  woman  to  the  Captain's  office  was 
simply  beyond  expression. 

"  How  did  you  do  it,  Barney  ?  "  asked  one 
of  them. 

Thereupon  Policeman  Flynn  looked  owl- 
ishly  wise  for  a  minute,  and  then  contributed 
this  bit  of  philosophy  to  the  store  of  human 
wisdom  : 

"  'T  is  easy  f'r  to  ma-ake  a  woman  do  what 
ye  wa-ant  if  ye  can  keep  her  from  knowin'  what 
it  is." 

Nevertheless,  to  ease  his  conscience,  he 
bought  his  wife  a  shawl,  much  to  her  surprise. 


XXIII 

TERRT    TRIES 
DIPLOMACY 


CHAPTER    XXIII 


TERRY    TRIES    DIPLOMACY 

TERRY  FLYNN  Is  a  well-meaning  lad. 
Like  other  boys,  he  gets  into  trouble 
occasionally,  but  when  he  is  good  he 
is  most  aggressively  good.  He  not  only  looks 
out  for  his  own  conduct,  but  he  insists  upon 
giving  the  most  painstaking  attention  to  the 
conduct  of  others.  His  supreme  self-satisfac 
tion  and  arbitrary  methods  on  these  occasions 
are  most  annoying  to  those  of  his  companions 
who  are  disposed  to  go  astray,  but  fortunately 
his  periods  of  intense  righteousness  are  of  short 
duration  and  occur  only  at  infrequent  inter 
vals.  If  this  were  not  so,  his  popularity  would 
suffer. 

It  was  during  an  exceptionally  severe  attack 
of  virtue  that  Terry  undertook  to  lead  a  youth 
ful  friend  into  the  straight  and  narrow  path,  and 

247 


POLICEMAN     FLTNN 


when  he  experienced  some  difficulty  in  leading, 
he  got  behind  and  pushed.  The  friend — Tim 
Delaney  by  name — betrayed  a  desire  to  play 
hooky.  He  never  did  think  much  of  school, 
anyway,  and  on  this  particular  day  he  held  it  in 
greater  contempt  than  ever.  So  he  decided  that 
he  would  absent  himself  for  the  day.  Now,  the 
joys  of  playing  hooky  were  far  from  being  un 
known  to  Terry,  but  just  at  this  time  he  hap 
pened  to  be  on  his  good  behavior.  He  scorned 
the  very  thought  of  deceiving  his  teacher,  dodg 
ing  the  truant  officer,  and  spending  the  day 
in  thoughtless  and  unprofitable  amusement. 
Ambition  was  stirring  within  his  breast ;  he 
purposed  to  be  a  great  and  good  man,  and  con 
scientious  work  at  school  was  a  first  requisite. 
As  usual,  he  wanted  to  bring  every  one  else  up 
to  his  high  standard,  too,  so  he  not  only  refused 
to  join  Tim,  but  suggested  that  Tim  ought  to 
join  him. 

"  Naw,"  said  Tim  ;  u  I  ain't  goin'  to  school 
to-day." 

"  Aw,  come  on,"  urged  Terry. 

u  Naw,"  said  Tim  again. 

"  You  better,"  insisted  Terry. 

"  S'm'other  day,"  answered  Tim. 
248 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


"  I  '11  bet  you  '11  come  to-day,"  asserted 
Terry,  as  he  slammed  his  hat  down  on  the 
ground  and  started  after  the  recalcitrant  youth. 
It  was  all  over  in  a  very  few  minutes.  The 
principal,  who  had  been  attracted  by  the  cries 
of  the  other  scholars  (for  the  disagreement  oc 
curred  almost  in  front  of  the  school),  found 
Terry  sitting  astride  of  Tim,  and  earnestly  de 
manding,  "  Now,  will  you  go  to  school  ?  "  to 
which  Tim  surlily  replied  in  the  affirmative. 

Of  course  the  object  that  Terry  had  in  view 
was  worthy  of  all  commendation,  but  the  prin 
cipal  carefully  explained  to  him,  after  hearing 
the  whole  story,  that  his  methods  were  not  in 
accordance  with  modern  ideas. 

"  I  am  glad  to  see  that  you  desired  to  bring 
the  wayward  boy  to  school,"  said  the  principal, 
"  but  you  should  have  used  diplomacy  rather 
than  force.  We  cannot  permit  fighting." 

Terry  thought  it  all  over  as  he  walked  home, 
and  he  told  himself  that  he  would  just  as  soon 
use  diplomacy  as  any  other  missile,  if  he  only 
knew  what  it  was.  His  desire  was  to  make  the 
world  better,  and  he  really  did  not  care  how  he 
did  it  so  long  as  the  results  were  clearly  defined 
and  immediately  noticeable.  Consequently  he 

249 


POLICEMAN      F  L  T  N  N 

wisely  went  to  his  father  to  secure  the  desired 
information. 

"  Oho  ! "  exclaimed  Policeman  Barney  Flynn, 
when  the  case  was  stated  to  him,  "  ye  'd  like  f 'r 
to  be  a  day-plomatic  la-ad,  w'u'd  ye  ?  'T  is  a 
good  thing,  it  is  that." 

"  But  what  is  a  diplomat  ?  "  insisted  Terry. 

"  M-m-m,  well,"  replied  Policeman  Flynn, 
thoughtfully,  "  ye  might  sa-ay  't  is  a  Chiny- 
man,  an'  thin  ye  might  sa-ay  't  is  an  Injun 
ma-an,  an'  thin  ye  might  sa-ay  't  is  both  iv 
thim  r-rolled  into  wan  an'  also  't  is  neither  iv 
thim.  They  do  be  fine  samples  iv  r-rough  day- 
plomacy,  which  is  wan  wa-ay  iv  sayin'  they  're 
cheerful  liars  ;  but  ye  sh'u'd  n't  folly  thim, 
Terry :  ye  sh'u'd  have  more  polish.  Th' 
Chinyman  is  willin'  f'r  to  be  called  a  liar  afther 
he  gets  what  he  wa-ants  ;  't  is  nothin'  to  him 
that  ye  find  him  out.  Th'  Injun  ma-an  '11  talk 
fair  to  ye  till  he  gets  ye  where  he  can  lick  ye, 
an'  thin  he  '11  give  ye  th'  laugh  an'  sail  in.  In 
wan  wa-ay  this  thing  ye  're  talkin'  about  is  th' 
art  iv  keepin'  th'  other  felly  quiet  while  ye  're 
gettin'  r-ready  f'r  th'  scra-ap,  but  th'  la-ad 
that  's  up  to  all  th'  thricks  '11  do  betther  than 
that.  He  '11  get  what  he  wa-ants  an'  niver 


POLICEMAN      F  L  T  N  N 

even  1'ave  ye  a  chanst  f'r  to  call  him  a  liar  or 
go  to  fightin'  about  it.  That 's  where  th'  artiv 
it  all  comes  in.  Th'  Injun  ma-an's  day-plo- 
macy  is  so  close  to  strathegy  't  is  ha-ard  to 
tell  thim  apart,  th'  Chinyman's  is  plain  lyin', 
an'  th'  white  ma-an's  is  so  artistic  ye  can't  tell 
whether  't  is  lyin'  or  not.  Sometimes  it  is,  an' 
sometimes  't  is  not,  but  ye  niver  find  it  out." 

"  What  's  it  good  for  ?  "  asked  Terry. 

"  It  's  good  f'r  th'  little  ma-an  that  has  th' 
job  iv  makin'  th'  big  ma-an  give  in  to  him," 
answered  Policeman  Flynn,  promptly.  "  'T  is 
this  wa-ay,  Terry  :  I  ha-ave  a  big  hulk  iv  a 
ma-an  to  take  to  the  station,  an'  I  call  on  wan 
or  two  others  to  help  me,  an'  we  throw  him 
down  an'  dhrag  him  to  th'  pathrol-box.  That 's 
foorce  an'  vi'lence.  But  mebbe  I  pull  me  gun 
an'  ordher  him  f'r  to  go  with  me  or  I  '11  put 
a  hole  through  him.  That  's  discretion.  Or 
mebbe  I  gr-rab  him  be  th'  collar  an'  thry  f'r 
to  yank  him  to  th'  box,  he  bein'  bigger  an' 
shtronger  than  me.  That  's  foolishniss.  But 
if  I  sa-ay  to  him,  *  Th'  capt'in  wants  ye  f'r  to 
shtep  r-round  to  th'  station  f'r  to  ha-ave  a  bit 
iv  a  chat,'  or  something  like  that,  an'  he  takes  it 
all  in,  an'  goes  with  me,  that  's  day-plomacy. 

*5« 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


Ye  see  how  it  is,  don't  ye,  Terry  ?  'T  is  th' 
art  iv  havin'  ye-er  own  wa-ay  without  makin' 
throuble  f 'r  ye-ersilf." 

"  Who  was  the  greatest  diplomat  you  ever 
heard  of?  "  inquired  Terry. 

"  M-m-m,  well,  't  is  ha-ard  to  sa-ay,"  re 
turned  Policeman  Flynn.  "  Sometimes  I  think 
't  is  Li  Hung  Chang,  even  if  he  do  be  a  Chiny- 
man ;  but  there  was  another  felly  who  c'u'd 
have  beat  thim  all,  if  he  'd  iver  gone  in  f'r  to 
use  his  talints  th'  r-right  wa-ay.  He  had  th' 
idee  iv  it,  but  't  was  only  spoort  an'  not  juty 
with  him." 

"  Who  was  it  ?  " 

"  A  felly  be  th'  na-ame  iv  Baron  Moon- 
chowsen." 

Terry  was  duly  impressed,  and  for  a  time  he 
sat  silent,  watching  his  mother's  preparations  for 
a  feast  of  pancakes. 

"  Ye-er  father  likes  thim,"  she  said  as  she 
noted  his  attention. 

"  He  does,"  he  replied,  and  then  suddenly 
he  bestirred  himself  and  began  to  help  her  in 
various  little  ways. 

"  I  '11  give  ye  an  exthra  wan  f'r  that,"  she 
said. 

^S^ 


«  <  Where  's  the  cakes?'"' 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 

"  I  '11  get  that  shawl  you  left  at  Mrs.  Casey's 
after  dinner,"  suggested  the  boy,  casually. 

"  I  '11  give  ye  two  exthra  wans  f 'r  thinkin'  iv 
goin'  f'r  it,"  said  Mrs.  Flynn. 

"  Luk  at  th'  day-plomacy  iv  th'  la-ad,"  com 
mented  Policeman  Flynn. 

"  Did  you  see  th'  man  waitin'  for  you  at  the 
corner  as  you  came  in  ?  "  asked  Terry. 

"  Who  was  he  ?  "  asked  Policeman  Flynn. 

"  Give  it  up,"  replied  Terry. 

"  Why  did  n't  ye  tell  me  iv  it  befoor  ? "  de 
manded  Policeman  Flynn.  "  I  hear-rd  Cassidy 
wa-anted  f'r  to  see  me." 

"  Maybe  it  was  Cassidy,"  returned  the  boy, 
"  an'  maybe  he  's  waitin'  there  yet." 

Policeman  Flynn  caught  up  his  hat  and  bolted 
out  of  the  door.  He  was  back  in  about  twenty 
minutes,  sadly  out  of  temper. 

"  Divil  a  soul  was  there,"  he  exclaimed,  "  an' 
so  I  wint  on  to  Kelly's  pla-ace  to  see  if  he  was 
waitin'.  Whin  did  ye  see  him  there,  Terry?" 

"  I  did  n't  see  him  at  all,"  answered  the  boy. 
"  I  only  asked  if  you  saw  him." 

Policeman  Flynn  took  a  step  in  the  boy's 
direction,  but  restrained  himself  from  making 
any  further  demonstration. 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


"  Ye  sh'u'd  n't  be  playin'  jokes  on  th'  ol' 
ma-an,  Terry,"  he  said.  "  Where  's  th'  cakes  ?  " 

"  I  thought  from  the  way  you  hurried  out 
that  maybe  you  would  n't  be  back,"  Terry 
calmly  replied,  as  he  disposed  of  the  last  pan 
cake. 

"  Luk  at  th'  day-plomacy  iv  th'  la-ad,"  com 
mented  Mrs.  Flynn,  proudly. 


XXIV 

HE    rALKS    OF   POLICE 
METHODS 


CHAPTER  XXIV 


HE     TALKS     OF     POLICE    METHODS 

POLICEMAN  BARNEY  FLYNN 
was  grievously  troubled  by  a  youth  of 
the  name  of  Horatio  Mann.  Horatio 
was  a  well-meaning  young  fellow,  but  he  had 
erroneous  ideas.  He  had  read  dime  novels 
until  he  had  become  imbued  with  the  idea  that 
a  detective  is  the  greatest  of  created  beings,  and 
it  was  his  ambition  to  be  one.  Hence  his  ad 
miration  for  Flynn.  He  had  heard  stories  of  the 
policeman's  prowess,  and  he  haunted  him.  He 
wanted  to  know  all  about  his  methods  and  his 
exploits,  and  more  than  all  else  he  wanted  the 
policeman  to  get  him  a  position  on  the  force 
or  with  some  detective  agency. 

"  I  know  I  'm  just  made  for  a  detective,"  he 
said  frequently.     "  All  my   inclinations   lie  in 
that  direction,  and  I  revel  in  mystery." 
259 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 

It  will  be  seen  from  this  that  Horatio  spoke 
reasonably  correct  English.  Indeed,  he  had 
had  a  fair  education,  the  only  trouble  being  that 
it  had  not  "  worked  in."  However,  as  Police 
man  Flynn  once  remarked,  "  a  ma-an  can  get 
book-1'arnin'  anny  time  iv  his  life,  but  't  is  not 
so  with  sinse,  Pr  sinse  do  be  a  nach'ral  gift." 
Horatio  had  the  book-learning,  but  he  lacked 
the  sense,  and  this  it  was  that  made  him  so  an 
noying  to  the  policeman.  He  could  not  be 
persuaded  that  the  life  of  a  detective  was  not 
one  long  romance,  filled  with  disguises,  thrilling 
adventures  and  fabulous  rewards.  He  would 
make  himself  up  in  the  most  wonderful  and 
outlandish  way,  and  then  drop  in  on  Flynn  to 
ask  if  that  would  not  fool  the  cleverest  "  crook." 
Later  he  amused  himself  by  shadowing  people 
in  the  neighborhood,  and  .writing  out  reports 
of  his  "  work,"  which  he  submitted  to  Flynn 
for  approval  or  criticism. 

"  Ye  wa-ant  me  Pr  to  help  ye  to  be  a  day- 
tictive  ?  "  said  Policeman  Flynn  to  him  one  day. 
"  M-m-m,  well  " — drawing  his  hand  over  his 
chin  in  the  old  familiar  way — "  I  '11  tell  ye 
what  I  '11  do  Pr  ye.  I  '11  give  ye  th'  po-lis 
ixamination  an'  see  how  ye  come  out,  'T  is  not 


Flynn  counsels  the  amateur  detective. 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


ye-er  pla-an  Pr  to  sta-art  in  as  a  pathrolman,  iv 
coorse  ? " 

"  Oh,  no,"  answered  the  youth.  "  I  feel  that 
my  talents  are  above  that." 

"  'T  is  what  I  sup-posed,"  said  Policeman 
Flynn.  "  Th'  woods  is  full  iv  la-ads  like  you. 
Some  iv  thim  wa-ants  to  be  prisidint  iv  a  r-rail- 
road,  some  iv  thim  wa-ants  to  be  editor  iv  a 
newspa-aper,  some  iv  thim  wa-ants  to  be  gin'ral 
manager  iv  anny  ol'  business  that 's  big  enough, 
but  most  iv  them  wa-ants  to  be  day-tictives. 
Anny  way  ye  put  it,  they  can  do  betther  than 
th'  fellies  that  's  doin'  th'  wor-rk  now.  But 
't  is  a  shtrange  thing  to  me  that  th'  min  that  's 
makin'  na-ames  f 'r  thimsilves  at  th'  top  is  niver 
th'  wans  that  sta-arted  in  up  there.  Did  ye  iver 
think  iv  that  ?  " 

"  No-o,  I  can  't  say  that  I  did,"  replied  the 
youth. 

"  Iv  coorse  not,"  said  Policeman  Flynn, "  an' 
ye  w'u'd  n't  think  th'  r-rule  was  f'r  ye  if  ye 
did.  'T  is  not  nicissary  in  ye-er  ca-ase.  Ye  're 
too  sma-art.  Well,  mebbe  so.  We  '11  thry  it 
on.  Ivery  la-ad  that  wants  to  be  a  day-tictive 
has  to  be  ixamined,  an'  I  '11  put  a  few  quistions 
to  ye.  Sup-pose  ye  was  in  cha-arge  iv  th'  day- 

263 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


tictive  wor-rk  an'  a  big  burglary  was  committed, 
what  w'u'd  ye  do  ?  " 

"  I  'd  look  for  a  clue,"  answered  Horatio, 
promptly  and  confidently. 

"  I  can  see  ye  doin'  it,"  asserted  Policeman 
Flynn  with  a  chuckle.  "  I  can  see  ye  goin' 
through  th'  pla-ace,  an'  lookin'  wise,  an'  gettin' 
down  on  ye-er  knees  f 'r  to  ixamine  a  bit  iv 
mud  through  a  magnifyin'-glass,  an'  thin  goin' 
out  an'  measurin'  th'  thracks  in  th'  mud  with 
a  fut-rule.  I  can  hear  ye  sayin, f  This  gr-reat 
crime  was  committed  be  a  ma-an  with  a  large 
fut  an'  a  nail  shtickin'  out  iv  wan  shoe.  'T  is 
only  nicissary  now  f'r  to  find  th'  shoe  an'  arrist 
th'  ma-an.'  Oho  !  ye  'd  ma-ake  a  gr-reat  day- 
tictive,  f'r  sure." 

"  Is  not  that  what  you  'd  do  ?  "  asked  Ho 
ratio. 

"  I  'm  not  ta-alkin'  iv  what  I  'd  do,"  re 
turned  Policeman  Flynn.  "  I  'm  ta-alkin'  iv 
what  th'  gr-reat  day-tictives  does.  If  ye  was  a 
r-real  day-tictive  an'  had  this  wor-rk  f'r  to  do, 
ye  'd  go  to  th'  pla-ace  an'  luk  wise,  an'  thin 
ye  'd  go  back  an'  ordher  th'  dhrag-net  put  out. 
Ivery  ma-an  that  c'u'd  ha-ave  done  it  an'  lots 
that  c'u'd  n't  w'u'd  be  brought  in  an' — " 
264 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


"  Arrested  ?  "  interrupted  Horatio. 

"  F'r  sure,"  replied  Policeman  Flynn. 

"  But  what  right  would  you  have  to  arrest 
people  against  whom  you  had  no  evidence  ?  " 

"  Who  's  ta-alkin'  iv  rights  ?  "  retorted  Po 
liceman  Flynn.  "  I  'm  ta-alkin'  iv  th'  wa-ays 
iv  po-lis  day-tictives,  an'  I  don't  want  ye  f'r  to 
be  botherin'  me  with  ye-er  fool  quistions.  Ye  'd 
ha-ave  thim  all  brought  in,  an'  ye  'd  ixamine 
thim  an'  ma-ake  thim  prove  they  was  n't  th' 
wans,  an'  sift  it  down  till  ye  'd  got  it  bechune  a 
few  iv  thim.  Thin  mebbe  ye  'd  la-and  ye'er 
ma-an  through  some  wan  tellin'  on  him  so  's 
to  keep  r-right  with  ye,  or  mebbe  some  felly 
on  th'  outside  w'u'd  tip  it  off  to  ye  so  's  ye  'd 
give  him  a  little  more  shwing.  Oho  !  they  's 
lots  iv  wa-ays  iv  gettin'  at  th'  fac's  without 
tra-acin'  a  cr-rime  up.  That  used  to  be  th'  ol' 
way,  but  't  is  out  iv  date.  '  First  find  out  who 
did  it  an'  thin  arrist  him,'  was  th'  ol'  rule,  but 
now  't  is,  '  First  arrist  ye-er  ma-an,  an'  thin 
find  if  he  's  th'  wan,  or  if  he  knows  the  wan 
ye  wa-ant.'  Iv  coorse  they  's  exciptions,  but 
this  is  th'  reg'lar  wa-ay." 

"  And  what  would  be  the  next  thing  for 
me  to  do  ?  "  asked  the  youth,  somewhat  dis- 


POLICEMAN      F  L  T  N  N 

tressed    by    having    his    ideals  thus   ruthlessly 
shattered. 

"  Ye  sh'u'd  throw  out  ye-er  chist,  puff  on  a 
big  see-gar,  an'  say,  '  'T  was  a  ha-ard  job,  but 
I  done  it.'  ' 

"  Is  that  all  ?  "  asked  Horatio. 

"  Oho  !  is  that  all  ?  "  repeated  Policeman 
Flynn.  "  If  ye  c'u'd  see  th'  time  some  iv  th' 
day-tictives  puts  in  doin'  it,  ye  'd  sa-ay  't  is 
enough." 

Policeman  Flynn,  it  is  hardly  necessary  to 
say,  looks  with  some  contempt  on  the  average 
police  detective,  believing  that  he  is  a  man  who 
gets  most  of  the  glory,  while  the  patrolman 
does  most  of  the  work,  but  that  perhaps  is 
natural  in  a  man  who  is  a  patrolman  from 
choice. 

"Still,  a  man  may  do  work  in  his  own  way, 
I  suppose,"  suggested  Horatio,  after  a  mo 
ment  of  thought. 

"  F'r  sure,"  answered  Policeman  Flynn, 
"  but  't  is  a  ha-arder  wa-ay." 

"  An'  if  he  does  a  really  good  piece  of  work 
he  gets  his  reward  ?  " 

"  R-right  ye  are." 

"  What  is  it  usually  ?  " 
266 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 

"  M-m-m,  well,"  returned  Policeman  Flynn, 
thoughtfully,  "  that  all  day-pinds.  Sometimes 
't  is  wan  thing,  an'  sometimes  't  is  another. 
Sometimes  't  is  promotion,  an'  sometimes  't  is 
not.  D'  ye  ray-mimber  th'  time  I  wint  down 
th'  chute  an'  arristed  a  gang  in  th'  cellar  ?  " 

"Yes,  indeed.  Did  you  get  a  reward  for 
that  ?  " 

"  I  did." 

"  What  was  it  ?  " 

"  I  was  docked  th'  price  iv  th'  coat  I  rooned 
goin'  down  th'  chute." 


XXV 

HE    ACTS    AS    PEACE 
MAKER 


CHAPTER    XXV 


HE   ACTS   AS   PEACEMAKER 

IN  meditative  mood  Policeman  Barney 
Flynn  was  smoking  his  pipe  in  front  of 
his  little  home  when  the  cry  of  "  Fight ! 
Fight !  "  was  raised  down  the  street  and  every 
body  started  running  in  that  direction — that  is, 
everybody  but  Flynn.  He  continued  to  puff  at 
his  pipe  as  if  there  was  nothing  unusual  go 
ing  on. 

"  Barney  !  "  exclaimed  Mrs.  Flynn,  suddenly 
appearing  in  the  doorway,  u  why  don't  ye 
wa-ake  up  ? " 

"  Divil  ta-ake  th'  pipe,"  commented  Police 
man  Flynn.  "  'T  is  no  betther  than  th'  flue  iv 
th'  kitchen  shtove  that  's  always  gettin'  shtop- 
ped  up." 

"  D'  ye  hear,  Barney,  that  two  fellies  is 
poundin'  thimsilves  up  over  ferninst  th'  cor 
ner  ?  "  persisted  Mrs.  Flynn. 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


"  Ha-ave  ye  seen  Terry  foolin'  with  th' 
pipe  ?  "  asked  Policeman  Flynn,  ignoring  his 
wife's  question.  "  'T  is  all  wr-rong  an'  I  can't 
make  it  dr-raw  at  all." 

Mrs.  Flynn's  indignation  at  being  thus  ig 
nored  was  so  great  that  she  promptly  snatched 
the  offending  pipe  away  from  him. 

"  Barney,"  she  said  impressively,  "  are  ye  th' 
guardeen  iv  th'  peace  or  are  ye  not  ?  " 

"  I  am,"  he  replied,  "  but  I  'm  not  th'  guar 
deen  iv  th'  fights.  Are  ye  tired  iv  me  that  ye 
wa-ant  me  f'r  to  mix  it  up  with  two  la-ads  that 's 
havin'  a  bit  iv  throuble  bechune  thimsilves  ?  " 

"  I  wa-ant  ye  to  show  that  ye  're  a  man  an' 
a  po-lisman,"  asserted  Mrs.  Flynn.  "  They  do 
be  fightin'." 

"  I  'm  off  juty,"  protested  Policeman  Flynn, 
"  an*  't  is  not  on  me  beat  annyway.  Sind  in  th' 
riot-call  if  ye  think  't  is  r-right  f'r  to  interfere. 
L'ave  me  have  me  pipe  now,  an'  don't  be  afther 
botherin'  me.  D'  ye  think  I  'm  lukkin'  f'r  a 
black  eye  ? " 

"  I  think  ye  're  lukkin'  f'r  a  chanst  to 
show  that  ye  're  a  cow'rd,"  said  Mrs.  Flynn, 
scornfully. 

Now,  ordinarily  Mrs.  Flynn's  aspersions  on 

^l^ 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


her  husband's  prowess  are  sufficient  to  rouse 
him  to  action,  as  has  been  demonstrated  on 
many  occasions,  but  this  time  the  method 
failed. 

"  D'  ye  ray-mimber  th'  da-ay  I  come  home 
with  me  coat  tore  an'  me  knuckles  bleedin'  an' 
a  big  lump  over  me  lift  ear  ?  "  he  asked. 

"  I  do,"  answered  Mrs.  Flynn. 

"  I  shtopped  a  fight  that  da-ay,"  said  Police 
man  Flynn,  and  then,  after  a  pause  sufficient 
to  enable  his  wife  to  grasp  the  connection,  he 
added,  "  D'  ye  ray-mimber  th'  time  Moloney 
wint  to  th'  hospittle  f'r  to  be  shtitched  up  ?  " 

"  Iv  coorse  I  do,"  admitted  Mrs.  Flynn. 

"  He  shtopped  a  fight  that  da-ay,"  remarked 
Policeman  Flynn.  "  I  tell  ye,  Mary,  whin  a 
ma-an  wants  f'r  to  fight  't  is  r-right  to  1'ave  him 
have  his  fill  iv  it." 

"  'T  is  notjuty,"  insisted  Mrs.  Flynn. 

"  But  't  is  sinse,"  said  the  policeman.  "  Ye 
see,  Mary,  't  is  all  in  knowin'  how.  Whin  a 
ma-an  is  fightin'  mad  't  is  a  small  matther  to 
him  who  he  does  his  shcrappin'  with.  He  '11 
sta-art  in  fightin'  wan  ma-an  an'  ind  up  be 
fightin'  another,  an'  't  is  more  satisfyin'  to  him 
f'r  to  take  a  welt  at  th'  peacemaker  than  at 
273 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 

army  wan  ilse.  If  ye  was  on  th'  foorce,  Mary, 
ye  'd  larn  that  ye  niver  sh'u'd  interfere  in  a  fight 
ontil  ye  can  lick  both  iv  th'  parties  to  it,  f 'r  't  is 
tin  to  wan  that  's  what  ye  '11  have  f'r  to  do." 

"  Thin  ye  won't  shtop  th'  fight  ?  "  suggested 
Mrs.  Flynn. 

"  I  told  ye,  Mary,"  returned  the  policeman, 
"  't  is  all  in  knowin'  how.  Iv  coorse  I  '11  shtop 
it  whin  't  is  time.  I  ha-ave  me  eye  on  thim, 
an'  I  'm  waitin'." 

He  glanced  down  the  street  again  and  slowly 
rose  to  his  feet. 

"  Whin  two  fellies  is  fightin',"  he  said,  "  an' 
wan  iv  thim  is  gettin'  th'  wor-rst  iv  it,  't  is  all 
r-right  f'r  to  shtep  in,  f'r  th'  la-ad  that 's  bein' 
done  up  will  be  gla-ad  to  have  ye ;  but  whin 
't  is  an  even  thing  ye  betther  keep  out  ontil  th' 
both  iv  thim  ha-ave  all  they  want  iv  it.  'T  is 
not  so  ha-ard  to  handle  a  licked  ma-an." 

Just  then  Terry  came  racing  back  from  the 
corner  where  he  had  been  watching  the  fight. 

"  O,  it  's  a  bully  fight ! "  cried  the  boy. 

"  An*  fair  ?  "  asked  Policeman  Flynn. 

"  Sure,"  answered  the  boy. 

"  Nobody  usin'  br-rass  knuckles  or  br-ricks 
or  knives  ? " 

274 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


"  Oh,  no  !      Reg'lar  rough  and  tumble." 

"  An'  neither  iv  thim  picked  on  th'  other  ?  " 

"  No  ;  it  's  an  even  thing.  They  've  been 
threatening  to  get  together  for  a  month." 

Policeman  Flynn  nodded  solemnly. 

"  There  do  be  times,"  he  said,  "  whin  fight- 
in'  is  in  th'  inth'rests  iv  peace.  I  ray-mimber 
whin  there  was  throuble  bechune  Whalen  an' 
Duffy  ;  they  had  no  liss  than  tin  little  fights  that 
was  shtopped  an'  they  fin'ly  got  to  heavin' 
br-ricks  at  each  other  ontil  Duffy  got  his  head 
br-roke,  whin  if  they  'd  been  lift  alone  th'  fir-rst 
time  't  w'u'd  've  been  all  over  with  nothin' 
wor-rse  than  a  pair  iv  black  eyes." 

"  'T  is  not  f 'r  you  to  pa-ass  on  th'  la-aws  but 
to  infoorce  thim,"  asserted  Mrs.  Flynn,  warmly. 
"  Ye  sh'u'd  shtop  th'  fight." 

"  Iv  coorse,"  answered  Policeman  Flynn, 
"an'  't  is  what  I  intind  f'r  to  do.  Terry,  c'u'd 
I  lick  th'  two  iv  thim  ? " 

"  No-o,"  replied  Terry  doubtfully  ;  "  not 
yet.  There  's  a  lot  of  fight  left  in  them  yet." 

"  But  they  're  near  to  th'  finish  ?  "  suggested 
Policeman  Flynn. 

"  Yes ;  they  're  getting  winded,"  admitted 
Terry. 

275 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 

Policeman  Flynn  took  his  boy  to  one  side 
and  whispered  to  him.  Terry  nodded  and 
started  back  to  the  corner,  where  the  men  were 
still  sparring  and  occasionally  clinching.  Po 
liceman  Flynn  took  out  his  watch  and  looked 
at  it. 

"  In  wan  minute,"  he  said  to  his  wife,  "  I  '11 
give  ye  an  illusthration  iv  th'  majesty  iv  th' 
la-aw ;  I  '11  show  ye  how  th'  wise  po-lisman 
shtops  a  fight  without  gettin'  his  head  br-roke 
or  makin'  throuble  f 'r  himsilf  be  sindin'  thim 
to  th'  station  an'  havin'  to  appear  ag'in  thim  in 
th'  po-lis  coort.  Wa-atch  me." 

"  I  'm  wa-atchin'  ye,"  returned  Mrs.  Flynn, 
somewhat  contemptuously. 

"As  I  toP  ye  befoor,"  continued  Policeman 
Flynn,  "  't  is  all  in  knowin'  how  an'  choosin' 
ye-er  time  r-right.  Ye  undhershtand  th'  thing 
is  to  shtop  th'  fight  without  th'  nuisance  iv 
havin'  to  arrist  army  wan,  an'  the  reppytation  iv 
a  ma-an  f  r  doin'  things  an'  permittin'  no  non- 
sinse  counts  f 'r  a  lot.  Th'  fact  is,  Mary,  ye 
don't  know  th'  kind  iv  a  ma-an  I  am  an'  th' 
wa-ay  th'  vi'lators  iv  th'  la-aw  luk  on  me.  'T  is 
betther  than  tin  to  wan  they  've  been  watchin' 
me  iver  since  th'  r-row  begun,  an'  whin  I 

276 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 

ta-ake  wan  shtep  that  wa-ay  't  will  be  all  off. 
Oho  !  they  know  me,  f 'r  sure  they  do  !  " 

"  I  'm  wa-atchin'  ye,"  said  Mrs.  Flynn  sar 
castically. 

Policeman  Flynn  gave  her  a  reproachful 
glance,  settled  his  helmet  firmly  on  his  head, 
and  started  toward  the  corner.  In  an  instant 
there  was  a  commotion  in  the  crowd,  the  two 
combatants  ran,  and  the  spectators  scattered. 

"  I  tol'  ye  so,"  said  Policeman  Flynn,  turn 
ing  to  his  wife  again. 

"  D'  ye  mean  to  sa-ay,"  demanded  Mrs. 
Flynn,  "  that  ye-er  gr-reat  reppytation  as  a 
po-lisman  is  what  shtopped  th'  fight  ?  " 

"  M-m-m,  well,"  returned  Policeman  Flynn, 
"  't  is  half  reppytation  an'  't  is  half  bein'  wise 
an'  knowin'  th'  right  wa-ay  iv  doin'  a  thing." 

Mrs.  Flynn  said  nothing  in  reply,  but  when 
Terry  came  back  she  called  him  to  her. 

"  Terry,"  she  said,  "  what  did  ye-er  father  say 
to  ye  befoor  ye  wint  back  to  th'  cr-rowd  ?  " 

"  He  told  me,"  answered  Terry,  "  that  the 
moment  he  started  in  that  direction  I  should 
start  the  cry,  {  Police  !  Here  comes  the  patrol 
wagon  ! '  and  I  did  it." 


XXVI 

HE    CELEBRATES 
CHRISTMAS 


CHAPTER  XXVI 


HE  CELEBRATES   CHRISTMAS 

A)  Policeman  Barney  Flynn  differs  little — 
at  least,  in  one  respect — from  the  aver 
age  man  of  limited  means,  the  ap 
proach  of  Christmas  found  him  troubled,  not 
to  say  pessimistic.  He  heard  the  customary 
talk  about  Christmas ;  he  saw  the  Christmas 
advertisements  in  the  papers  and  the  Christmas 
goods  in  the  shop-windows  ;  he  read  the  ac 
counts  of  Christmas  plans  for  feeding  or  other 
wise  remembering  the  poor;  and  the  only  effect 
it  had  on  him  was  to  make  him  jingle  the 
"  lucky  half-dollar  "  he  carried  in  his  pocket, 
and  shake  his  head  dolefully. 

"  'T  is  th'  da-ay  iv  th'  rich,"  he  said  to  him 
self.  "  'T  is  th'  time  whin  ye  wa-ant  twinty 
thousand  dollars  f 'r  to  do  th'  r-right  thing  be 
all  th'  good  people  ye  know.  'T  is  th'  da-ay 

281 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


iv  give  an'  ta-ake,  an'  if  ye  can't  give  ye  're 
ashamed  f'r  to  ta-ake,  an'  there  ye  are.  'T  was 
diff'rint  in  th'  ol'  days  whin  I  was  a  la-ad,  but 
now  ivery  wan  who  ha-ands  ye  out  a  two-bit 
sca-arf  ixpects  f'r  to  ha-ave  as  good  or  betther 
ba-ack  from  ye,  an'  th'  ray-suit  is  we  all  go 
br-roke  givin'  things  that  's  iv  no  gr-reat  use 
to  anny  wan  but  th'  shtorekeepers  that  sells 
thim.  'T  is  f'r  me  to  shtall  th'  good  woman 
be  a  little  ta-alk  iv  har-rd  times  befoor  she 
spinds  th'  rint  money  buyin'  r-red  ties  an'  six- 
f 'r-a-nickel  see-gars  be  th'  box." 

With  this  object  in  view  Policeman  Flynn 
entered  upon  a  systematic  campaign  to  discour 
age  Christmas  shopping,  and  he  did  it  with  his 
usual  diplomatic  ability. 

"  Ye  can't  impriss  a  thing  on  th'  mind  iv  a 
woman  be  sayin'  it  wanst  an'  lettin'  it  go  at 
that,"  he  told  himself.  "  Ye  must  ding-dang 

it  into  her  head  without  lettin'  her  know  what 

>      j   •   >  » 
ye   re  doin  . 

So  he  began  to  drop  incidental  remarks 
about  poverty  and  hard  times,  with  a  casual 
suggestion  from  time  to  time  to  the  effect  that 
there  would  be  no  Christmas  in  that  house. 
Later,  whenever  the  moment  seemed  propitious, 

282 


Flynn" s  Christmas. 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


he  aired  his  Christmas  views  more  at  length, 
and  even  illustrated  them  with  occasional  stories. 
All  in  all,  he  congratulated  himself  that  he  was 
accomplishing  his  purpose  with  exceptional 
cleverness  and  strategy. 

"  Think  iv  th'  bargain  days  that  follies 
Chris'mus  !  "  he  remarked  one  day  at  breakfast. 
"  'T  is  th'  wa-ay  iv  th'  wor-rld.  Whin  ye 
ha-ave  no  money  th'  lads  in  th'  shtores  is 
thryin'  f 'r  to  ha-and  things  out  to  ye  at  liss 
than  ha-alf  th'  cost  to  ma-ake  thim.  Oho  ! 
they  're  sma-art  min,  those  fellies.  All  th'  year 
ye  're  sayin'  to  thim  that  they  niver  thruly  sell 
annythin'  at  liss  than  cost,  an'  th'  day  afther 
Chris'mus  they  come  back  at  ye  an'  say,  (  We  '11 
prove  to  ye  now  that  we  can  do  that  very  thing 
be  offerin'  th'  goods  at  liss  than  cost  whin 
ye  're  not  in  sha-ape  f 'r  to  buy  thim.'  I  tell 
ye,  Mary,  th'  wise  wan  is  th'  felly  that  plans  f 'r 
to  ta-ake  thim  up  whin  they  ma-ake  th'  bluff." 

The  logic  of  this  seemed  unanswerable  to 
Policeman  Flynn,  and  a  few  days  later  he  sup 
plemented  it  by  reminding  her  that  the  year 
before  she  was  "  near  dead  f'r  thinkin'  iv  th' 
things  ye  c'u'd  ha-ave  an'  comparin'  thim  with 
th'  things  ye  did  ha-ave,  all  because  iv  th'  ba-ad 


POLICEMAN     F  L  T  N  N 


habit  iv  goin'  br-roke  wanst  a  year."  Next, 
after  a  reasonable  interval,  he  told  about  Cul- 
len,  one  of  the  men  at  the  station. 

"  Th'  only  throuble  with  Cullen,"  he  said, 
"  was  that  his  hear-rt  was  so  big  an'  ray-spon- 
sive  that  he  c'u'd  n't  button  his  vist  over  it 
whiniver  anny  wan  or  annythin'  appealed  to  it. 
He  had  a  good  head,  too,  but  't  was  nawthin' 
beside  iv  his  hear-rt.  His  head  was  always 
givin'  him  th'  r-right  tip,  but  his  hear-rt 
w'u'd  n't  1'ave  him  listen  to  it.  That  's  why 
th'  byes  at  th'  station  has  f'r  to  dodge  him 
reg'lar  afther  Chris'mus.  He  come  to  me  on 
th'  twinty-sivinth  da-ay  iv  last  Day-cimber, — I 
ducked  him  on  th'  twinty-sixth,  knowin'  th' 
kind  iv  a  la-ad  he  was,  but  he  cornered  me  on 
th'  twinty-sivinth, — an'  he  says  to  me,  he  says, 
'  Barney,'  he  says,  '  I  ha-ave  up  to  th'  house,' 
he  says,  '  a  br-right-green  nicktie,  an'  a  red 
nicktie,  an'  a  polky-dot  nicktie,  an'  two  pipes, 
an'  a  box  iv  see-gars,  an'  a  ol'-gold  pair  iv  sus- 
pinders,  an'  some  shlippers,  an'  a  fut-rist,'  he 
says  ;  *  an'  the  good  woman  do  be  havin'  a  sort 
iv  a  doily  thing,  an'  a  silk  pitticoat,  an'  some 
shtockin's  with  pale-blue  clocks  on  thim,  an'  a 
pink  shir-rt-waist,  an'  a  little  statoo  iv  Vanus 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 

f'r  to  put  on  th'  kitchen  shelf,  an'  a  wather- 
caraffy,  an'  a  new  taypot,'  he  says  ;  '  an'  th' 
childher  has  a  r-red  sca-arf,  an'  a  shied,  an'  a 
pair  iv  ska-ates,  an'  a  toy  gun,  an'  a  little 
pathrol-wagon,  an'  some  blocks,  an'  a  shteam- 
injine.'  Thin  he  sighs  an'  says,  f  Barney,  I 
niver  intinded  f'r  to  do  it,  but  ye  know  how  it 
is  ye-ersilf.  Will  ye  lind  me  th'  loan  iv  a  two- 
dollar  bill  so  's  we  can  ate  till  th'  nixt  pay-day  ? ' 
That  's  th'  wa-ay  iv  th'  ma-an  with  th'  big 
hear-rt,  Mary,  an'  so  I  Ve  had  me  hear-rt 
ossified." 

This  naturally  had  its  effect  on  Mrs.  Flynn. 
"  Th'  poor  ma-an,"  she  said  to  herself;  "he 
do  be  ha-avin'  a  ha-ard  time  iv  it  over  th' 
money,  an'  't  is  f'r  me  to  help  him  out."  So 
she  gladdened  his  heart  by  proposing  that  they 
ignore  Christmas  entirely.  As  that  was  the 
very  idea  that  he  had  in  mind  all  along,  he 
readily  acquiesced.  And  yet,  even  in  the  hour 
of  victory,  he  began  to  modify  the  compact, 
thus  deliberately  disproving  his  previous  pes 
simistic  assertions  about  the  expected  return 
favors. 

"  A  bit  iv  something  f'r  Maggie  an'  Terry," 
he  said,  "  but  nawthin'  ilse." 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 

Here,  however,  Maggie  objected.  If  there 
was  to  be  any  such  arrangement  she  wished  to 
be  included  in  it.  There  was  no  reason  why 
she  should  receive  any  presents  if  she  was  ex 
pected  to  give  none  ;  indeed,  as  she  was  receiv 
ing  an  independent  salary  for  her  work  as  a 
teacher,  she  told  herself  that  there  was  all  the 
less  reason  why  her  parents  should  incur  any 
Christmas  expenses  on  her  account.  As  for 
her  own  money,  she  could  do  with  that  as  she 
saw  fit.  It  was  right  that  they  should  be  re 
lieved  of  a  burden  that  was  rather  hard  to  bear 
in  the  existing  circumstances,  but  that  was  no 
reason  why  she  should  be  deprived  of  the  pleas 
ure  of  giving.  Here,  it  will  be  noticed,  was 
another  blow  to  Policeman  Flynn's  views  of  the 
selfishness  that  marks  the  modern  Christmas, 
but  of  course  he  did  n't  know  it.  Maggie  kept 
her  opinions  to  herself,  and  merely  insisted 
that  she  should  be  included  in  the  compact. 

Now  this  is  an  agreement  that  many  people 
of  limited  means  have  entered  into  at  various 
times,  and  they  will  appreciate  the  difficulties 
that  confronted  the  parties  to  it.  The  Christ 
mas  spirit  is  contagious,  and  more  than  once 
Policeman  Flynn  regretted  that  he  had  been  so 
288 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


far-sighted.  When  he  saw  anything  that  he 
wanted  to  buy  for  Mrs.  Flynn  or  Maggie,  he 
tried  to  console  himself  with  the  reflection, 
<c  Niver  mind !  'T  will  be  ma-arked  down 
afther  Chris'mus."  But  with  this  came  the 
haunting  fear  that  the  stock  might  be  exhausted 
before  the  day  of  bargain  sales  arrived.  The 
occasional  queries  at  the  station,  "  What  are  ye 
goin'  to  buy  th'  good  woman  ?  "  also  worried 
him,  for  he  feared  a  truthful  answer  would  be 
misconstrued,  and  he  would  be  put  down  as  a 
miserly  wretch  with  little  affection  for  his  fami 
ly.  He  had  one  consolation,  however.  By 
tacit  agreement  Terry  had  been  left  out  of  the 
arrangement,  as  being  too  young  rightfully  to 
appreciate  it,  and  so  there  was  an  opportunity 
to  make  some  family  purchases.  Thus  it  hap 
pened  that  Christmas  eve  Policeman  Flynn  told 
his  wife  that  he  must  get  something  more  for 
Terry. 

"  But  ye  ha-ave  a  plinty  f  'r  him,"  argued 
Mrs.  Flynn. 

"  Are  you   th'  wan  that  's  doin'   this,  or  am 
I  ?  "  he  demanded,  with  some  asperity. 

"  Oh,  g'wan,  if  ye  wa-ant  to,"  she  returned, 
"  but  ray-mimber  wan  thing." 
289 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 

"  What  's  that  ? ' 

"  Ray-mimber  Cullen,  th'  la-ad  iv  th'  big 
hear-rt  that  niver  meant  f  'r  to  do  it." 

Policeman  Flynn  departed  with  the  uncom 
fortable  feeling  of  a  criminal  who  fears  he  has 
been  found  out,  and  Mrs.  Flynn  chuckled. 
Then  she  retired  to  her  room  and  made  an  in 
vestigation  of  one  of  the  bureau-drawers. 

"  'T  will  niver  do,"  she  commented,  as  she 
held  up  one  of  Policeman  Flynn's  socks  and 
regarded  it  critically.  "  'T  is  a  sha-ame  th' 
min  don't  wear  shtockin's.  Now  what  '11  I 
ta-ake  f 'r  to  ma-ake  it  seem  r-right  an'  proper?  " 

Terry  noted  his  mother's  mysterious  move 
ments  that  night,  but  he  was  absolutely  barred 
from  the  kitchen  until  morning,  and  Mrs. 
Flynn  kept  a  close  watch  of  him.  Maggie 
was  superintending  or  assisting  to  superintend 
a  waifs'  Christmas  celebration,  and  did  not 
get  home  until  late.  When  she  did  come  she 
made  a  mysterious  trip  to  the  kitchen  in  the 
dark  and  deposited  some  packages  on  the  table. 
With  the  stealthiness  of  a  thief  Policeman  Flynn 
came  still  later,  and  his  movements  were  the 
most  extraordinary  of  all.  He  removed  his 
boots  before  going  to  the  room  where  Mrs. 

290 


POLICEMAN      F  L  T  N  N 


Flynn  was  peacefully  dreaming  of  the  surprise 
she  had  in  store  for  him,  and  after  leaving  that 
room  he  crept  into  his  daughter's.  Then  he 
went  to  the  kitchen,  and  felt  along  the  wall  un 
til  he  found  two  pan-hooks,  to  which  he  carefully 
fastened  certain  things  that  he  was  carrying. 

He  was  awakened  the  next  morning  by  an 
outcry  from  Mrs.  Flynn. 

"  Barney  !  "  she  cried.  "  Wake  up  !  They  's 
been  a  burglar  here." 

Policeman  Flynn  rolled  out  of  bed  and  hast 
ily  reached  for  his  Sunday  boots,  his  only  other 
pair  having  been  left  near  the  outer  door  when 
he  took  them  off  the  night  before.  This  feel 
ing  that  he  had  only  to  put  on  his  boots  to  be 
fully  dressed  was  the  result  of  sleeping  at  the 
station  on  reserve  duty  in  times  of  great  public 
excitement.  But  now  he  received  a  shock. 

"  Oh,  th'  murtherin'  divil !  "  he  cried.  "  He  's 
shtole  wan  iv  me  boots  !  " 

"  Niver  mind  th'  boot,"  retorted  Mrs.  Flynn. 
"  He  's  shtole  me  only  pair  iv  silk  shtockin's 
that  I  had  last  Chris'mus  !  An'  I  hear  him  now," 
she  added  excitedly.  "  He  's  in  the  kitchen, 
th'  thief!  Hear  him  laughin'  at  what  he  's 
done.  F'r  th'  love  iv  Hiven,  Barney,  go  down 

291 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 

an'  gr-rab  him  quick,  an'  I  '11  folly  ye  with  a 
broom.  Bad  luk  to  him  !  He  's  afther  r-rob- 
bin'  Santy  Claus  !  " 

By  this  time  Policeman  Flynn  had  got  part 
of  his  uniform  on  over  his  usual  night  attire, 
and  was  half-way  down  the  stairs  with  his  re 
volver  in  his  hand.  Mrs.  Flynn,  somewhat 
more  nearly  dressed  than  he,  followed,  and 
Maggie,  who  boasted  of  a  really  pretty  house- 
robe,  joined  them. 

"  Did  he  get  annything  from  you  ? "  Mrs. 
Flynn  found  time  to  ask. 

"  I  don't  know,"  answered  Maggie.  "  He 
mussed  up  everything  in  one  of  my  bureau- 
drawers,  anyway." 

"  'T  is  Terry  !  "  broke  in  Policeman  Flynn, 
from  the  foot  of  the  stairs. 

The  next  moment  he  pushed  open  the  door 
of  the  kitchen,  and  the  three  entered.  Terry 
was  actually  rolling  on  the  floor  in  a  paroxysm 
of  laughter. 

"  What 's  th'  matther  with  ye  ?  "  roared 
Policeman  Flynn. 

For  answer  Terry  simply  pointed  to  a  row 
of  pan-hooks  on  the  wall,  and  laughed  some 
more.  From  the  first  hung  the  silk  stock- 

292 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 

ings  that  Mrs.  Flynn  had  missed,  stretched  all 
out  of  shape  by  the  statuette  that  protruded 
from  one  and  the  patent  egg-beater  that  looked 
over  the  top  of  the  other,  with  incidental  lumps 
of  large  size  to  indicate  where  a  little  china 
clock,  some  candy,  and  various  other  things 
had  been  crowded  in.  Next  to  this  was  a 
stocking  that  Maggie  promptly  recognized,  al 
though  she  blushed  to  note  the  knobby  shape 
it  had  assumed  in  its  efforts  to  provide  room 
for  the  regulation  box  of  candy,  a  bottle  of  per 
fumery,  a  glove-box,  a  fantastic  little  pincushion 
and  a  ready-made  light-blue  shirt  waist  rolled 
up  and  simply  jammed  in.  But  it  was  the  last 
thing  in  the  row  that  tickled  Terry  the  most. 
This  was  Policeman  Flynn's  missing  boot,  and 
loose  cigars  filled  it  to  the  top,  with  one  pipe 
and  two  neckties,  held  in  place  by  the  cigars, 
nodding  over  the  edge.  There  were  also  vari 
ous  packages  on  the  table  and  on  the  floor. 

"  Oho  !  "  exclaimed  Policeman  Flynn,  "  I 
see  ye  're  not  a  woman  iv  ye-er  wor-rd." 

"An'  ye  f'rgot  about  Cullen,"  retorted  Mrs. 
Flynn. 

"  Niver  a  bit,"  answered  the  policeman,  "  but 
wan  might  as  well  spind  th'  money  himsilf  as 


POLICEMAN      FLTNN 


lind  it  to  thim  that  does  spind  it.  An'  annyhow, 
't  is  no  use  thryin  f'r  to  f'rget  whin  't  is  Chris'- 
mus." 

"  I  'm  glad,"  said  Mrs.  Flynn,  "  f'r  to  see  ye 
ha-ave  a  bit  iv  sinse  in  ye-er  head  now  an' 
thin." 

A  moment  later  she  and  Maggie  were  hur 
rying  back  up-stairs,  and  Policeman  Flynn  was 
looking  about  him  in  a  bewildered  sort  of  way. 

"  Terry,"  he  remarked,  "  I  ha-ave  a  sort  iv 
an  idee  that  some  wan  kissed  me.  Was  it 
Maggie  or  ye-er  mother  ?  " 

"  'T  was  both,"  said  Terry. 


DATE  DUE 


GAYLORD 


A     000  567  223     3 


